We have a two year old that has been in my in-laws care while I'm at work since he was 6 weeks old. The end of August, my father in law was involved in an accident that (for the time being) has stopped their care for our son. I frantically was on the search for a day care provider and found a lady in our community that does it out of her home. At first drop offs were going so-so. Some days were worse than others. But here in the last week or so, he has been so clingy to me and even hysterically crying when I leave him. He also used to be a great sleeper. Meaning we would rock/read a book and I could leave him in his bed awake and he would fall asleep on his own. The last 2 weeks, he cries if we leave his room while he's still awake. He wants us to sit with him until he falls asleep. I don't know if this is a common phase for little ones to go through. It just breaks my heart to leave him when I have to go to work. I just want to wrap him up in my arms and take him straight back home!
It is a common phase and it's torture but there is a possibility he's not getting good care. Can you pop in sometimes to check? My kids did go through these phases on and off for years. But they didn't last long or get worse. We also had the same nanny the whole time so I knew it wasn't a care issue. If it was the phases wouldn't have come and gone so quickly. So I would want to check out the care...
We had similar issues. In regards to the sleep issue we sat with our son until the need passed. It lasted about six weeks but now we are back to the previous routine where we can lay him down awake and walk away. As for drop offs it is up and down. We can go a few weeks of good drop offs with no tears and then a few weeks of hysterics. We stick to the same drop off routine regardless. My husband sets him down, kisses the top of his head, tells him he loves him and will see him this afternoon. We took this approach because of discussions with our caregiver. I would suggest talking to your child’s caregiver. Perhaps she can give you some insight into why he cries and also how to handle him. Good luck. It is a gut wrenching experience but you are not alone.
Its a common phase plus his routine is different. Its heartbreaking to leave him but talk with the new caregiver and see how she would like to handle this. Sometimes it works best to do the hand offf at the door without going in. Others want you to stay a short time (which I think is the worst) and then leave.
The only real piece of advice I can give you is to project confidence in this care giver. Don't be anxious because your son will pick right up on something not being right.
If he hasn't seen his grandparents I suggest a visit with them during which one of them or both talk with him, reassuring him of their love and belief in new sitter. Let him know that they are OK.
Perhaps it would help for you and/or his grandmother spend an hour or more with him at sitter's home. This would help him feel that you know and trust her.
he is at the age separation anxiety happens and then to abruptly lose staying with grandparents and going to a stranger's home is difficult for him. He doesn't understand and doesn't have the ability to understand.
It's important for you to show confidence in the new sitter and in his ability to adjust. Show no hesitancy when you leave. Say something like, "I love you. I'll be back later" while giving him a hug and then walk out.
it might help to give him pictures of you and his grandparents to keep with him. And perhaps be sure he has one special stuffed animal/toy/blankie with him every time.
Common. Be careful about establishing routines that u don't want to be doing for years like laying with him to sleep. Keep drop offs brief, give a lovey maybe and be upbeat yourself. Does he have a friend there? I would visit grandparents on the weekend but you don't want nana saying "my poor baby is in day care now...we miss u too much" could make it worse.
Grandma should not be asked to leave her husband to sit with your son at daycare. Not cool.
Do you have any sick leave? Take two days off. Drop him off and go back to get him in an hour (without letting him or the sitter know). Your dropping in could tell if there are any issues that you do not see at the end of the day.
Maybe he is having a blast!
The second day off, just spend it in Mommy and son time.
Many of us like to boast of our perfect job attendance--what suffers with that boast?.
