2-Year-old Waking up in Night with Bad Dreams

Updated on July 25, 2007
J.J. asks from Argyle, TX
9 answers

Hi moms. My 2-year-old son used to have no problems sleeping in his room through the night, but about 2 or 3 weeks ago he started waking up crying and seeming terrified. I've been letting him sleep with me, but I'm afraid that'll be a hard habit to break him of. Anyone else been through this and have any advice to give? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all your advice. I've been putting my kiddo in his own bed when it's bedtime because I don't want him to get used to coming to bed with me, and that has been going fine. I've just started to leave the door open a crack and a lamp on, which he seems to like. Last night I heard him wake up upset, but he went back to sleep in his bed on his own. He did end up leaving his room and coming to my room in the middle of the night, but I'm hoping that'll stop at some point soon. I may run out and get him a glow worm too! If anyone else has anymore advice, I'd love to hear it. Thanks!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

I need to know what to do as well. My almost 3 year old is going through the same thing. She tells me that she doesn't like her bed because she has bad dreams. So, I end up on the couch and she is crashed in my bed (she ends up going horizontal majority of the time and it is sometimes easier for me to go to the couch). I am really sick of it and want my bed back. And yes, this habit is getting worse and harder to break. Help me too!

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

My husband had night terrors as a child, and now as an adult, he has terrible sleepwalking and bad paranoia at nights (so it's a nightmare for me!) With him, I had to remove all wall hangings (pictures, mirrors, decor) in our bedroom and anything tall on our nightstands, or dressers, like lamps. We also must have a nightlight on.

Your pediatrician should have some good advice on this fairly common behavior.

Now, there is a HUGE difference between night terrors and nightmares. This link will help you determine which it is. I myself, had terrible nightmares as a child, they even effect me sometimes now, but it really helped me was to try mild lucid dreaming.

It can get pretty complicated reading about it, but for a child, it is mostly to help them understand that they are not in a real life situation and they can control it. For us, we were told we had a Superman Belt on in our dreams, and to push the button on our belt (our belly button) to make the bad guys go away in our dreams. It helped.

Also, having a water bottle filled with some glitter as a "monster repellant", and spraying the bedroom a little before nighttime, I have heard can help too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream

http://www.web-us.com/lucid/luciddreamingFAQ.htm

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/sleep/a/night_terrors.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terrors

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D.A.

answers from Dallas on

J.---I have had the same experience as Charlotte. For some reason, night terrors start at this age. My daughter is my 3rd child and I didn't have this experience before. We just try to calm her down but more importantly make sure she can't hurt herself. It calms down after a while and she goes back to sleep. My understanding is that it will stop as quickly as it started.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

My son had night terrors last year. I actually took him into the pedi because even after I went into his room, I couldn't get him to calm down. He would still be screaming and crying. It was actually frightening for me as a mother. I thought there was something really wrong with him. When I took him to the pedi, my doctor said not to wake him up, but just hold him quietly. I wouldn't let him sleep with you...we tried this and he was awake that night for several hours after we brought him into our room. It is scary, but I promise you that it is normal and it will get better.

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

My son had night terrors and it was frightening to behold. You need to try to find out what is the source of the fear......have there been any changes in his life? My son's started right after I left his dad.......good luck to you.......

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Hi J.,

My daughter is about to turn 2 in a month and she just experienced her first night terror on Friday night. It was horrible! I agree with Bev, that it could be connected to something going on in the child's life, some kind of transition or something else. My daughter just started school last Monday and it was a hard week for her, being left in someplace unfamiliar everyday.

I was getting ready for bed and was in the kitchen when I heard my daughter upstairs crying hard, which was not normal at all. I went up to check on her and it was a scary sight - it looked as if a ghost was thrashing her around in her crib. She was banging into this side, banging into that side. She wouldn't settle down at all. I tried patting her back, telling her that mommy was there, but she wouldn't snap out of it. I picked her up and tried holding her, as soon as I got her in my arms, she start hitting me with both hands and flailing her body around. I tried sitting on the floor with her but she flailed and would throw her body face forward into the floor, then all the way backwards. Nothing I did could calm her down. Her eyes were open the entrie time too. I got her downstairs to get her some water and by then her dad had heard her screaming. He tried holding her and calming her down and that didn't help either. After what seemed like forever, she suddenly snapped out of it and was content being held by her dad and we sat on the couch together for a while. You could tell she was beat and exhausted. We brought her into bed with us and she fell asleep right away. After about 30 minutes to an hour, we took her back up to her room and she was fine for the rest of the night.

It's so scary when they have terrors or nightmares like that because we have no control over them at that point. And it's scary because we don't know to what extent can they possibly hurt themselves too.

In regards to your son sleeping with you, maybe do like we did and when he has these nightmares or terrors, bring him to sleep with you temporarily and then put him back in his own bed. Maybe that will help him not get into the habit of wanting to sleep with you full-time, all the time.

-Char

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

First, Otilia's idea is was GREAT!

I had nightmares so bad as a child I can still remember them and the feeling they gave me now as an adult. I would get my parents and they would tell me I was ok think about happy things and go back to sleep. That worked until went back in my room to have a dream about a field of flowers and rainbows and then I was being chased by a mountain lion.

Now I have 2 children who have the same issue. I will go and get them wake them up if they are still asleep, hold them, kiss them and ask them if they need to come cuddle with mommy If the answer is yes then into my room they come. Sometimes they will settle right back down and go back to sleep in their bed. Up until recently they would just be in my bed. I now put a folded blanket on the floor in my room that they can sleep on next to my bed. We only let them in our room if they are sick or having bad dreams. It is about security to me and I want them to know I am alway there WHEN they NEED me. They start out every night in their own room, and most of the time that is where they stay. It will only become a habit if you let it. Start him off in his room every night. Whatever you put on the floor should be less comfortable than the bed. That deturs being in their just for the sake of not having to sleep in their own bed. One thing that I have noticed, and my mom says that it was true for me, is that the nightmares come in phases at the age of 2 and 4-5 and then of corse durring any large life event. Good luck I hoope that it gets better!

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son just turned 3 and used to have night terrors occasionally when he was two (which are very common for that age from what I've read). We noticed it happened most when he wouldn't take a nap or when he was really tired. I also read about them in the book "What to expect, the toddler years" . I will say this, and it may seem silly. My sister-in-law bought a Glow-Worm for my other son for Christmas and my two year old ended up taking it over and has slept with it every night ever since. He has not had a night terror since. Maybe it was a coincidence but he really likes it so I take it that he needed some type of "security" at night and for him, that was the answer. It's very cute. He even humms the tunes as it lights up. Good Luck!

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O.S.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest daughter started having night terrors at about the same age. She would wake up screaming and crying at about the same time every night.

My pediatrician gave me a good tip. He said if I noticed that her night terrors happen at about the same time every night (they happened at 1:45 almost every time), set an alarm to wake myself up and then get her up as well. I would wake her gently to see if she wanted to go potty, change her pull ups or just get a drink of water. Then I would rock her, put her back in her crib and she was just fine.

If this continues for you, check with your pediatrician and see if s/he has any good tips for you.

Hang in there.

Oti
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