Hello all. Wanted to get some input, advice, and shared experiences from others who have had their children share rooms. We just had a new baby (5 weeks ago), moved (2 weeks ago), AND put our 2 year old and 3.5 year old into the same room together so I KNOW that there is a lot going on and TONS to adjust to for all of us but I am wondering if others have had similar experiences with their kids sharing rooms.
Because of their age differences the girls have slightly different sleeping schedules. The 2 year old would like to go down earlier for naps and nighttime if she could, but with sharing a room, it never seems to happen since we put them down together. Naps end up somewhere between 1 and 2pm (for 2 to 3 hours) and nighttime sleep never seems to happen before 9. Then they both wake up at 6am no matter what. The 3.5 year old seems to be handling it OK but the 2 year old is really struggling to settle down on her own and is TIRED in general. She spins, jumps, talks, sings despite being EXHAUSTED but just can't seem to get to sleep on her own (she is even starting to wake in the night due to sleep deprivation, is my guess). I finally go in and rock her and she falls asleep in about 2 minutes. But I can't do the rocking until the older one has settled down or else she (the 3.5 year old) isn't quiet enough to let it happen.
I know that our routine has changed but I am wondering if I should be trying to put them down at the same time or put the younger one down first and then HOPE that the older one doesn't wake her up???? OR just stick to it and hope that things settle down and that the 2 year old works out how to fall asleep earlier. The entire process is taking FOREVER too. Somewhere between and hour and an hour and a half AFTER baths. Ugh!
Your input is appreciated! Thanks!
I would put them down together. There really is not a big age difference so
their sleep requirements are quite similar.
My son sleeps like the dead for 45 minutes after initally falling asleep - I can go in, put his clothes away, open/close the closet door, talk to myself, trip over something, fall, swear - he sleeps through it all. BUT - after 45 minutes, I need to keep it quiet. (I've read that the deepest sleep children have at night is the first hour or so). That said, could you put your youngest to bed and once she's asleep, start a soft-voices bedtime routine with your older child?
I would put the 2 year old to bed first and let her fall asleep before putting the 3 year old to bed. It shouldn't take long. For naps just put them in separate rooms. I did this with mine who shared a room. One just napped in our bed so it was not a problem.
I would just get the 2 year old to sleep sooner and keep the 3 year old out of the room - let her watch some TV in another room or whatever. Once the 2 year old is asleep, then you read stories, etc. to the 3 year old outside the room and then make it very clear to her that she is go to bed without disturbing her sister. You could also try having then take their baths earlier too. Good luck!
If you know your 2 y/o should be getting more sleep and is tired earlier than big sis, then yes put the younger down first. I resisted doing this (thinking it would take more time) but once I did it was WONDERFUL! Really my older doesn't go to bed any later, she just gets read to and tucked in in my bed and little bro in his. Usually within 15-20 minutes we move big sis back to the room they both share. Sometimes she is already asleep, sometimes not...but the little one is ALWAYS asleep. (Your older has to know that under no circumstances can she wake up little sis, mine did this once on purpose and had a very harsh consequence and will never do it again, normal settling into bed and whispering to herself or looking at a book probably won't disturb the other if she's already asleep) AND the time it takes for both to fall asleep is much less than before... toddlers and bedtime are just plain time consuming even when everything goes right. Another thing about the arrangement is my older is getting more one on one reading time on her level. It also makes a big difference if you have a partner to help esp. with a baby in the mix, so if they aren't already and can, have them help you.
2 year old, cannot at-will fall asleep on their own, accurately.
They still need prompting and help.
They don't even have impulse-control at this age.
And yes, when OVER-tired, kids get more 'hyper.' Because they are over-tired. They cannot, self-control themselves. And yes, being over-tired also makes it HARDER to sleep and a kid wakes more.
A 3.5 year old, is perhaps better at that.
Depending on their personality as well.
But they still do not have fully developed impulse-control.
I shared a room with my sibling.
HATED it.
We were just too different.
And, my sibling was SOOOO bossy and overbearing.
Would irk me on purpose.
I was the younger one.
It was oil and water.
Just not a good set up. At all.
Not all kids, will or do, sleep well together in the same room.
why are they in the same room?
Is it a space saving reason?
Where does the infant sleep?
Next: WHERE is your HUSBAND in all of this??? I mean, he should be helping the older kids get to bed, help them get ready, and wake at night too. Because... you have an Infant.
No matter what, and at this age: 2 and 3 year olds are not predictable. And they fuss and still need help... keying down BEFORE bed, winding down BEFORE bed, getting ready, and getting settled. They need to be cued and helped and monitored. Not just left in their rooms by themselves and then expecting them to just fall asleep and stay still as statues in their room and bed.
Kids this age, are not still. And they don't have impulse-control. Fully.
They need help, in winding down.
I get my kids ready for bed, ONE hour, before the actual bed time. We get ready, I make everything DARK and quiet and calm. I verbally cue them... prompt them into their pre-bed routine. Verbally cuing them. Actually saying "Wind down time.... " and they know, that means it is before bed.
We did this too but moved them together 2 mos before the baby came. Initially it was difficult bc every night was exciting for them and they took forever to settle. My kids are same ages as yours basically. Now they settle easily MOST of the time...under threat of losing their fave toys or park trip the next day. We have dinner at 6, pjs at 730, teeth and prayers by 750, lights off between 8 and 810. I feel like your bedtime and nap are late for a 2 yo that gets up at 6. Even for the 3.5 yo. Can you do earlier? I am lucky that my younger kiddo has always needed less sleep than my older one....so we suffered w a grouchy older kid who we could talk things through with And who would crawl into bed early for nap if she was exhausted- by herself w/o prompting.
I really feel for you. We have another baby coming and my 7yo and almost 5 yo have been sharing a room for 4 months (they chose this and it happened to work out for us in that we don't have to worry about the baby). It has been a big adjustment for us. The 4 yo often wakes before the 7 yo is ready and wakes her up. She refuses to go back to sleep or sleep alone in the room so she is often cranky from not getting enough sleep. We put them to bed at the same time unless the 7 yo is out doing something. Both wake up around 6A no matter what time we put them down, so we start the routine around 7 or 715 and end up with them in bed between 730 and 8. They usually both crash and fall asleep almost immediately. Both are out of the nap stage so I don't know what to say about that other than to maybe put them down around 1230 and 1 so they have extra time to wind down and stress that it is quiet time. We have threatened to separate them many times, especially when the older one complains about the younger one, but they refuse and cling to each other and beg to stay together. Give it time and they will probably establish a schedule, maybe not the one you want, but one that you can accomodate.
