2 1/2 Yo Freaking Out at Bedtime, Advice?

My son is almost three and we have gone through the same bedtime problems. I put the plastic cover on the doornob so he cannot open the door. I let him select which books he wants me to read. We also talk about what he is going to do tomorrow after he goes to sleep. I try very hard not to go back into his room because I know this will only reward his crying. He has been getting better. Just remind yourself this is a phase and it will get better.

I feel for you. We went through the same exact thing with our daughter. First of all, it is not you it is your son. They try to test us and see what they can get away with. My daughter's 5min bedtime routine turned into a 45min-1hour bedtime routine that drove me insane. I have 2 other small children and didn't have time for this (sad to say!). So it took several bad nights before we made it into a 15min bedtime routine (we defiantly had to take her favorite doll and blanket away)and now her bedtime magically turned into a 5min routine again without me even trying for that! I love bedtime again! I unfortunetly have a 21month old son and I am sure this will start all over again with him but knowing that there is an end will make it easier. Plus I won't give into him like I did my daughter. Every once in awhile she will try to get away with me lying down with her longer but if I just say that I don't want anything to be taken away, she stops and goes right to sleep. Good Luck! Stay patient, I know it is very difficult especially when you have a little one.

Does he still nap during the day? He may not be getting enough sleep and therefore be overtired. At his age, he should still be getting around 13 hours of sleep. Unlike adults, who get sleepy if they lose sleep, kids get hyper and cranky and frankly, unable to cope with ANYTHING! Sleep begets sleep, so he may actually need to get a longer nap or go to bed earlier. Just a thought...

Some advice that worked for us: First of all, during your bedtime routine - see if you can work a bit more time in so that you can explain to your boys what the "routine" is - "boys - it is time for bed, so we take a bath, brush teeth, read a book, say a prayer, etc...." Then - this is the important part - if your son wants "one more story" ask him how many stories he wants you to read him - maybe have 5 books in front of him and ask him which stories he wants read to him....he may pick all 5 - then you come back with only 1, he'll ask for more and then you finally end up agreeing with 2 books. Since he was part of the decision, it may end up working for you.

My boys also always wanted one more kiss. So, same thing - I asked them how many kisses they wanted. Naturally, it started out at 100 - compromise and we are down to their age for the number of kisses.

My boys also used to come out of their room and PER THE PEDIATRICIAN, he recommended that I reverse the lock and lock the door when I leave the room. ONLY TEMPORARILY...This worked the first night we tried it. (My boys share a room). They always used to come out of their room, and they cried, etc - so when they were finally tucked in - I would say in a calm way -- I'm going to close and lock this door now. When you settle down, I will open the door and it will stay open all night.

They settled down immediatly, and I was able to open the door. The first time they got out of bed and tried to come out, I closed the door again until they went back to bed.

Now, I don't even close the door....I made sure early on that they knew as soon as they stayed in bed and were quiet, the door would open, but as long as they were up, running around, crying, etc...the door would remain closed.

good luck,
T.

Hi J.:

So far, we have not had any problems (knock on wood) with our son going to bed, but a few of my friends have. I do know that one of their pediatricians recommended a later bed time. Not sure if that is in the cards for you or not, but might be worth a try.

Good luck!
M.