2 1/2 Year Old Wants to Be Fed

I agree with several of the moms out there. This is a phase where she is trying to see what power she has over you. Don't feed her. She will feed herself if she is hungry. Kids at this age don't eat as much as they used to when they were younger. Tell her that she is a big girl and that she can feed herself. Only babies get fed and she is not a baby. If she stops eating and wants to leave the table, tell her that the meal is over when she leaves and that she won't get any food until the next meal. Stick with it. She'll catch on. My 2 year old wants to leave the table to play. If she refuses to sit in the booster, then when she leaves the table, the meal is over. I give her reminders when I see that she is starting to get off the chair. She quickly changes her mind so she can eat.

You don't want to be like a friend of mine who is chasing her son (18 months) around the house with a spoonful of food.

Good luck!

She's two. This is just the start of the many things she will think of to get a reaction from you! I guess if you have time and want to, you can feed her, but just be aware that you may be teaching her that she can also decide not to do other things that she's normally required to do (use the potty, brush her teeth, whatever). Your daughter won't starve if she doesn't eat a meal or two. Put her plate in front of her, and she will either eat it or she won't. My kids have at various points gone on little hunger strikes for one reason or another - usually it lasts one or two meals at most and then they realize that they aren't getting a reaction, and stop.

Hello S.: Having 5 children we had this happen at several stages of life. I learned from a very wise mother-in-law that 1. they won't starve 2. they generally are checking the bounderies ( or the limit of your strength & endurance) 3. find some quiet time and just talk into their ear and whisper how much you love and adore them.
It safe to try out things when you are with someone you know loves you and this is just another step in the learning process, so don't fear it has anything to do with your parenting skills.
Enjoy the adventure of parenthood, Nana Glenda

Hi S.,
Sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. I noticed several suggestions to indulge her and I just have to disagree. She could be seeking attention or just pushing boundaries, but whichever it is doesn't really matter. I would put the food in front of her and then eat yourself. If she hasn't eaten when you're done, the food goes away and she has to wait until the next meal for food. If it's attention she's seeking, I would recommend giving her attention in a way that will not encourage her to regress, which is what feeding her yourself would do. But of course, as someone mentioned earlier, it will pass and she'll move on to some other form of parental torture! When she gets tired of being hungry, she'll eat. No kid will let themselves starve. She'll be fine.

She probably wants attention. And since you work full time, she probably needs it (no judgment, just fact). Feed her for a while, and have fun with it. Play silly feeding games with her. She'll stop wanting it soon enough, and she won't want you to feed her in high school. ;)

It sounds like she wants to be babied. If feeding her isn't a way you are comfortable babying her, pick another one that you know she likes (putting lotion on her after bath, holding her and rocking, brushing her hair). Give her lots of affection and let her know that you love her even though she is getting to be a big girl.

If she is hungry, she will eat. Don't make a big deal out of it. Put the food in front of her and sit down with her and eat your own food. You can also try eating off her plate and then offering her some, telling her how tasty it is.

My son does this as well, to me it lets me know that he needs a little extra mommy time. I endulge him every once in a while. The other times, I tell him "no mommy won't feed you, but pull your chair up nice and close so we can be next to each other while we eat". It seems to give him that little bit of closeness he is feeling he needs right than.

good luck
K.

I see this as a test. She is testing to see how much control she has over you. I would put the food in front of her and tell her to eat. If she chooses not to eat, fine, but there will be nothing until the next regularly scheduled meal. Kids WILL eat when they get hungry. She will not starve herself. You need to show her that she does not control you and that she does have limited control over what she will and won't do and let her make the decision, but also let her suffer the consequence.

How funny! My daughter is a little over 2 1/2 and just started doing this. I tell her no. She is a big girl and that she can feed herself. If she doesn't want to eat, that is fine, but I tell her no snacks later. Usually, I don't think she is very hungry. My other daughter is 3 1/2 and I think she did the same thing. Some days they just don't eat very much. If she gets hungry later, I will give her something very healthy.

My 2 1/2 year old daughter is doing the same thing, mostly at breakfast. But, just remember - everything is a phase, and it will pass. They will eat when they are hungry, so indulge her for a little while. This too shall pass...

Mu 2 1/4 son is doing the same thing. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. I think he is to busy interacting with the world around him to eat. He even likes his snacks on the go. I am just feeding him and encouraging him to be a big boy and eat nice. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

While on the surface, I would say this is attention getting, but I've lived through this and think it's about power. Notice I said,"lived." Yes, you will live through this.

My daughter has always had a ton of choice in her life from early on, so I was baffled by the need to control situations, test her power. She always knows when to test too....when our schedule is tight.

The child will eat when she is hungry. If it is really important to you that she feed herself, let her wait. Stop worrying about her eating. They will eat when they are hungry. If you don't mind feeding her every bite for the next few months, by all means indulge the playful power game.

Remember to use your words with her because she understands.

When my daughter did the same thing and I knew she had to (medicine after food), I indulged and treated her like a little baby. I took her out of her high chair, wrapped her in a blanket, and fed her what I wanted her to eat first. I planned to do this for every meal for a week, but didn't have to. After two days she was ready to feed herself. I let the baby treatment float into other areas too. No videos, put her down for a morning and afternoon nap. No finger food left out for her to snack on mid morning. (I did the wrap and feed routine for snack times too.)

She still tests her power. Sometimes it is in eating (refusing to eat, "I'm not hungry."), brushing teeth (I brush them for her.), getting dressed (I pick out the ugliest clothes.), etc. She's 7 1/2 and power is still important.

S

I totally agree with Page. Your daughter just wants attention. Have fund and indulge her for a while, she will grow out of it...my kids did.

This might seem insane,but my 3 1/2 year old still eats then says I am tired of feeding my self, please fed me? If I don't she tells me she is full,however will wake in the night asking for food. Sometimes she eats 2-3 mouhfulls and sometimes al her food and often some amoun in between. She always tells us when she is really full or if she is just full of that food and needs something else. We go with the flow as long as what she wants is healthy (no chips, candy etc). She is a bright, strong, active child who is not overweight and I know she will grow out of it as she has done with other things.