2 1/2 Year Old Sleeping Issues, Takes a Long Time to Fall Asleep

Hi M.,
I totally understand what you are going thru. My son did the same thing around that age for a long time, I'm talking about 2 months, he was taking around 1 to 2 hrs to fall sleep. But that stops one day, he is 3 years old now and that starts again about 2 weeks, I try to take his nap away or cut shorter and that make worse, he still nap 1 hr and 1/2
In past couple days looks like he is getting better.
We do the same bedtime and nap routine as you, keep doing and eventually he will go back to normal, I totally think is a phase, sucks but is not much we can do!
You are doing a great job and must be hard on you because you have another little one, that maybe be one those reasons why he is having a little trouble sleeping!
Keep up the good work!

Good luck!
P.

He's probably ready to stop napping! I have 3 kids and went through this 3 times. Difficulty falling asleep at night is the first sign. With every one of my kids went through a tough period where they needed a short nap, but then still couldn't fall asleep at night. I would say the first step is to definitely cut down the naptime. Good luck!

Believe it or not, we have the same problems in our house when we put our kids to bed too late, it takes them longer to fall asleep because they are over tired. I know putting him down to sleep around 8-8:30 doesn't seem late... but I will tell you that from our experience putting our kids to bed closer to 7pm or 7:30pm at the latest works the best especially at this time of year when it is dark out so early. We usually start getting our two boys ready for bed around 6:45pm. Because it is dark out they don't know any different and they usually sleep a full 12+ hours. Any time we put our kids to bed after 8pm they take longer to fall asleep, sometimes have more trouble sleeping through the night, and often wake up Even Earlier the next morning than they would if we had put them to bed an hour earlier. If your son is still taking a nap willingly I wouldn't stop it. My youngest still naps from 2pm to 4:30pm or sometimes sleeps till 5:30pm and we wake him up for dinner and then put him back to sleep at his normal bedtime and he does just fine. Plus putting your kids to be earlier gives you more time to spend w/ your hubby or have a little me time. Good luck to you, try it... it has worked for us for 3-4 years and friends who have tried it notice a big difference too.

Hi M., Have a great bedtime routine rocking, story, praying, that was my routine for my now grown children. If he doesn't fall a sleep right away that's fine, BUT stop going in his room, at night, because you have formed that habit, he counts on it, and that has become his routine. For me I checked on my children a couple times a night, I loved watching them sleep, and of course i covered them back up if need be. Whats really good to that helps children fall a sleep is a fish aquarium, our kids Had 10 gallon tanks in their room, we put a blue light on the tank which served as a night light as well, the blue, light, the movement of the fish and water was very soothing and calming for them. I can say in all honestly that all 3 of our kids slept through the night from 6 weeks on and we had no sleep issues or sleep loss for us, except maybe when they were sick. J. L.

Hi M.
I didn't read the other responses you received so sorry if this is repeating something but back when The Doctors tv show first started, Dr Jim Sears helped a famiy in this same situation. The conclusion was that the daughter was not falling asleep because she wanted more attention from mom & dad. She would do very similiar things as what you describe of your son. So what Dr Jim suggested was for the parents to make up cards with activities on them like "read one extra book" "sing one more song" etc (whatever your son likes in his routine would work). Then she was told that she could choose one card to complete then once done it was bedtime. It really worked for them. I'm sure somewhere on the shows website you can find info on it. But it really sounds like he just wants to spend time with you. Especially if you have another baby now, he's probably feeling like he needs some extra one on one time. Instead of fighting the behaivor try to find ways to fill his need so he feels content to sleep.

Hi,
Best book EVER for sleep issues is "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr. wiesbluth. Just google it, they also have a very helpful website, forgot what it is called(sorry). This book addresses sleep issues for children from infancy into adulthood. Long book but very informative.I have read it a few times and I refer back to it alot. Hope this helps, A.

Hi M.,
Sounds like he is creating a major habit when he is calling for you in the middle of the night. You just have to stop going ing after the second time. You have to tell him that this is the last time you are coming in, mommy has to sleep to.
I have major issues with my 2 1/2 year old daughter. She also has been a horrible sleeper. I know I have created some of these problems by giving in to her crying. I could go on forever about my problems, but instead I will tell you about a great book that I have.
It's called the "Sleep Sense Program". This book gave me the tools to start to change our bad habits. It is an online book, so I can forward it to you if you want. (and anyone else who might need it)
Good luck to you.
____@____.com

Did you ever think it could be due to the new baby? I think you need to cut him some slack and realize he is going through something. He's not the baby anymore nor does he have your sole attention.

Good luck!

Probably time to start ditching the nap. My daughter did at 2 years. Then move up the bed time 1/2 hour to an hour earlier (which is quite nice, I might add :)

Maybe his nap could be earlier and shorter to begin with. Try moving up to 11am for one hour. If he still has the problem, he is ready to give it up.

My daughter is now 4 1/2 yrs old and we went through, and sometimes now still do. . .go through that phase.

I do not change anything. . .she did need her naps everyday and really for a 2 year old that is too young to give it up, especially if taking so long to go to sleep. Don't think about losing the nap until closer to 4 or 5 years old (for your own sanity and rest during the day too).

Anyway, I figured out that if I preempt her coming out we suceeded. She has several stuffed animals she sleeps with. I took them all out of bed and said if she stayed in bed for 5 minutes (bedtime was 7 or 7:30 at that age) then I would bring back one of her friends and check on her. She chose which one came back first. Then next I said you have to stay in bed 10 minutes and get the next friend (of course she has no concept of time at that age, but she would stay for the friend), then went to 15 minutes before I came back to check on her. Then once the three friends were back in bed, I told her I would come check on her again in 15 minutes. If she got out of bed, then I would restart the count down for the next friend to come back.

I had tried taking away friends when she got out of bed, but then she would get out and just hand me a friend. So, I decided that "rewarding" was better and so she got a friend and got to see me again. The check was very quick. Friend given, kiss and goodnight, with reassurance when next check was.

This only took a week or so, so after a few days of one by one with stuffed animals, then went to jackpot, where I checked on her in 1st 5 minutes and she got two at once and so on. After a couple days of several at once, then I extended the first check to 10 or 15 minutes and gave all animals at once. Then just went to checking on her on a mutually agreed upon time (she usually was used to saying 5 minutes, so that is what we did).

After conquering that. . .then I tackled the waking mommy up in the middle of the night. If you would like some information on how we did that I will share as well. Again, used positive reinforcement and only took a couple of days to master, which she still sleep through the night to this day, with an occasional wake up maybe once a month from scary dream or such.

Good luck. You can do it. It is a phase and I think they all go through it. Please don't lose the nap, you will really miss that down time when it is gone (as ours is now. ..) :)

E.

I would try cutting out the nap or at least shorten it to only an hour or less...all of my 3 girls stopped napping consistently right around 2 1/2...then the only thing that would help them fall asleep was if I was driving during that time. If we were home during that time, I would call it "quiet time" & they would play quietly for a little while while I rested (in our baby proofed bedroom) otherwise I would be too tired to deal. I would then plan for an earlier dinner, bath & bedtime. Sometimes they would end up with their face in the dinner plate, sometimes they would make it through the whole evening, it just depended on how much exerise & stimulation they had that day.

BTW, the days they DID nap...it took forever to get them to sleep...my youngest in particular...wouldn't fall asleep until right before we came home from picking up her oldest sister from school, then she wouldn't go to sleep that night (no matter HOW long the nap was!)...I would be driving around in circles, listening to classical music for an hour or more some nights to get her to sleep. I'd go out with her so that my husband & her sisters could get some sleep instead of listening to her crying, because she would be overtired.

Another thing to consider, it's a big change to have a new baby, maybe he needs a little more time spent with him to help him go to sleep, read to him a little bit longer, & then hold his hand for a set amount of time with the lights out, so that he doesn't feel so alone (& maybe displaced?). Good Luck, remember, this too shall pass!!

What happens if he does not nap at all? For some kids, it makes them overtired, but he might do well with no nap. Before you run screaming from the room, try having him take "quiet time" which means something different to everyone. For us, it meant you have to stay in your room for one hour (we worked our way up to an hour in 5 minute increments, starting with 20 minutes the first day). For other people, it means you can play quietly by yourself but not bother mommy, for someone else, it might mean TV time. The key is that they leave you alone during that time. It is worth a try.

I think you shouldn't check on him when he calls - it just lets him play more and he doesn't relax to fall asleep. Kids have to be bored to fall asleep because otherwise they would rather be playing. :) My daughter started waking up at night around 2 years old and would cry out and then I would come in and check her and put her blanket on - but nothing was actually wrong. She did that for about a week until I figured out she was doing it to see me. :) Cute, but not good for our sleep patterns! So I took 3 days of not going into her room when she cried out and she stopped doing the behavior. We also got her a little toddler pillow to make sleeping more comfortable. Good luck!

OMG - I have the same exact pattern with my 2 yr 4 month old girl and I have no answers, but just want you to know you are not alone! She has never been an early sleeper, though I love the responses that say putting her to bed earlier might solve it. We just can't seem to get into that schedule because my husband gets home so late. I wish we could try it, though. If you try it, let me know if it works! Also, our girl takes a 2-3 hour nap, so I can't imagine she's ready to give up the nap entirely, but we have started to shorten it slowly (no longer than 2.5, and sometimes only 2), depending on how the week has gone. That sometimes seems to help but when we gently wake her up she is so crabby for an hour or two afterward that it makes me think she isn't getting enough of a nap. But, we go thru weeks where everything is fine and then it starts back up again, so not sure what the solution is. I do think it is something of a phase.

He could just want reasurence that you guys are there if he goes right back to sleep when you get there. but try cutting nap time down if you thinks it is okay for you child. it couldn't make him stay up more.