2 1/2 Year Old and Newborn

S.,

My older son (a Mama's Boy at the time) was 26 months when his brother was born. Of course, we prepared him for it. Told him "Ryan" was coming home. Let him help in Ryan's room. Showed him where the hospital was, etc. But really, we just made it part of life and not that big of a deal. He "helped" us by getting diapers for Ryan when it was time to change him. He sat by me when I nursed or when Dad fed Ryan and we made a point to let Jacob (older son) have some one-on-one with Mom and Dad at different times.

I really think the behavior issues are just normal, challenging 2.5 y/o things. You are absolutely doing everything that I would do. Ignore the tantrums. Explain the consequences, "If you hit, you will go in time-out". Praising the positive (big in our house). Just be consistent and he'll get it.

Hang in there. Pretty soon, you'll be able to watch them play together and your son will teach his sister things and it's just the best thing in the world to see!

Congrats on #2.

I completely understand! I thought I would go nuts this past winter, b/c I had my second baby in November, & we couldn't afford to keep sending my toddler to daycare, so she had to stay home with us. So she went from going out on all these adventures with other kids to being trapped indoors all day with a completely sidetracked & exhausted Mommy. Plus, due to some plumbing issues, our apt complex relocated us to a new apartment the day before I went into labor, so she also had new surroundings. And my stay in the hospital was the first time we'd been apart for more than a day, and then she had a new sibling when I got home. These are all huge changes for a toddler to go through, so I tried to cut her some slack when her behavior got out of control, but it was so hard. I will say that it got significantly easier on days when I'd make extra efforts to spend alone time with her when the baby was napping, or if we got to do a fun activity together. I'd suggest getting out of the house & going to the park, or the mall, or toddler gym--anywhere where he can run around, burn off energy, and have fun. And try to make him feel special as much as possible, thank him for his help, praise him for his accomplishments. I know it's so trying on the nerves, but this too shall pass. Good luck!

Sounds very normal and it sounds like you are doing a great job handling his challenges. That age can be challenging without a newborn. The only suggestion I can really see is if he has a hard time "transitioning", make sure you are giving him a ten minute warning, followed by a five minute warning, with your expectations at every warning. That way, life isn't a constant fire drill with him and you continue to have control over your time table, alleviating any struggles.

You did great bringing a newborn in the house - he can still be vying for your attention and this could last for a while. Sounds like you are on top of that, too.

Also, you can offer that incentive for those times ... "when you do this - you can do that" even if it's something so simple as "when we go to the store, you may pick out the cereal...", etc. Whatever the incentive can be. This may work well on any day, but especially a challenging day.

Good luck.

Don't feel badly - I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and he's doing this too. The only difference is that he doesn't have a sibling! I think it is pretty normal behavior, just continue being consistent with your chosen method of discipline and eventually it'll click. Remember that he is 2 1/2 and sometimes it takes several time-outs or behavior modifications before the message sinks in.

I am having the same issues! My girl is almost three and my newborn is 5 weeks now, and it is getting easier. But man, is it hard! You are doing GREAT. It just takes time - at least that's what they tell me.
Feeling you!
S.

Hi S.,
I totally understand what you're going through! My son is 27 months old and my daughter is almost 3 months old now. The last 3months have been exhausting for me, and there are days when I wonder when things will get easier. However, I can say that things definitely are getting better. My son was great the 1st 2 weeks of his new sister being home, but after that, he changed into a different child. He was defiant, started hitting me and his dad when he couldn't get things (he also never did anything bad to his sister). I felt like I was yelling and giving him time-outs all the time. I went through guilt too b/c I felt like I wasn't spending time with him. When the disciplining wasn't working well, I decided to try a new approach. I still disciplined him for things that were unacceptable, such as hitting, but tried to choose my battles with him. Also, I did a lot of praising for good behavior, and the thing that worked the best was that I'd spend some time alone with him during the day. I was so tired, but I noticed that if I played with him, or read with him,etc..he would act so much better. He just wanted my attention. I know it's so hard to balance things, but you really are doing such a great job..so hang in there! =) It seems like most if not all kids go through this transition period.