19Mo with Seperation Anxiety

I guess my question back to you is how long it takes him to settle down ( at the gym, at church) after you've left the scene. It usually takes a minute or two for them to get over their frustration at your departure, and move onto something else. My son who is almost 2 1/2 still does that at Sunday School and he calms down within a few minutes. Not that it's pleasant to hear him screaming while walking away down the hall, but they do get over it.

One of my girls went through the same thing. What worked for her was what worked for me when I was a toddler.... don't tell my Mom she was right though!
What I did with my daughter was I started telling her, "I'll be back" EVERY time I went anywhere. This included if I ran a short errand ... went out to get the mail ... even if I just went into another room for a second. Upon returning I would make a big deal .. lots of hugs and kisses and I would tell her, "See? Mommy ALWAYS comes back!"
It got soooo tedious at times and seemed a tad silly ..... but it worked! Within a week, she went from crying hysterically to just crying when I dropped her off somewhere (Which is just the standard child manipulation of Mommy thing! I know all about that from my days teaching pre-k!) and stopping the second I was out of the room. It's also key to stay calm when you take her places .. act like it's no big deal .. the same as when you practiced at home. A quick "Goodbye, I love you and I'll be back!" .. don't linger or let your stress over the situation feed into hers.
I think the process took about a week and a half to really click with her.

If nothing else seems to work, just remember .. it's a phase. It WILL get better in time!

My son is a quiet shy boy at first and takes time to warm up especially in unfamiliar surroundings. He did the same thing when I took him church at first and he was 3 years old. They only do it once a week, so it makes it harder. Each time you just have to remain firm and happy and let him know he will be okay. I learned to just drop him and go. I tried to stay and hang out with him some, but it only delayed the inevitable. He was fine and happy when I picked him up afterwards each time.

Just keep leaving him and it will get better. It may take a while, but the more you leave him the more he will get used to it. My son had pretty bad seperation anxiety for a while and every Sunday I would get paged out of church to come calm him down, but sure enough after a few weeks things started to change and now he doesn't even think twice about going into nursery.

This is a practice-makes-perfect thing. The more times you do it: leave him upbeat with a happy face and a "We'll be back!" and come back, the better it'll go. I'd suggest do some trial runs of shorter times and work up to longer times. Like do 15 minutes first for 3 - 5 times. Then, work up to 30 minutes. Then an hour. His crying can be heartbreaking, I know. With my daughter, sometimes I wondered who was suffering more... Then came the day that she cried because I came to get her and she wasn't ready to leave yet. Kids!

it's just an age thing--he'll grow out of it soon enough. Like everyone else said--tell him you'll be back (sometimes it helps if you tell them you'll be back after a certain time ie. after your snack etc) and make sure you're back when you said you would be. After enough times, he'll realize that you'll do what you promised. I know how hard it is to leave your baby crying for you, but tell yourself that it is for his own good and it really is--he needs to learn to be away from you a little. Good luck and hang in there!

L.-

I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to say that we are going through the same thing with our 14 month old! Church, gym, etc. He is fine at home when I leave the room but in a new place, he cries when I step away, even if to just refill my drink. I hope it is just a phase...that is what everyone tells us!

C.