18 Months Old Sleep Issues and Husband Who Interferes.

Sounds like you and your husband need to get on the same page. Letting him cry for 5-10 min. is ok, I really think that they need to cry sometimes to settle themselves back to sleep. Picking him up and changing his diaper is only prolonging him being able to get back to sleep. With my son, I stopped bringing him a bottle at night by 15 mo., he now at 18 mo., has a sippy cup with water in it in his crib. (It's been hot and I like him to have water.) It took about a 4-5 days for him to adjust to me not coming in when he cried, and he now sleeps straight through the night. I think you are on the right track as far as "fixing" his sleep routine, maybe your husband just really misses him because he travels so much. That's nice,but you'll all be better off with a good night's sleep. I think that since you are the one home alone with him more often...you should be the one to set the routine. I think a pediatrician would most likely agree with your approach, so maybe bring your husband along to your child's next well child visit so he can hear it from someone other than you. At least it sounds like he means well. Best of luck!

Either your husband or your son will grow out of it. I am putting my money on your son but who knows......

Goodluck with that. Our boy used to sleep through the night till MIL came over and "helped". Tried talking to her to no avail, while she thinks she's doing us a favor by tending to the baby at night, truth is, all her "intervention" only begets more tears and more intervention. Hubs and I are looking forward to sleep training, followed by good sleep for everyone once she's left.

I'm sorry, I know how hard this is!
Comforting a crying baby/toddler is not always "spoiling." The reason I never let my kids cry it out had nothing to do with me spoiling them, it was because I mentally and physically could not stand the wails of a crying baby. For me it was like nails on a chalkboard, I just couldn't stand it! Maybe your husband feels the same way?
The only way I got through those early years was to bring baby to bed with me when h/she woke up in the night. That may not be what you want to do, but I don't know how else I would have survived. My husband and I needed our sleep, and neither one of us could get it with a howling infant in the next room.

Can you ask the pediatrician what his/her take is on giving the bottle in the middle of the night? Our pediatrician said to wean night feedings after 4 or 5 months (daughter was in the 98th percentile in height & weight) and wean off bottles after 12 months. Since I am the primary caretaker and I take the kids to the pediatrician, my husband defers to me on such matters. Bottles of milk in the middle of the night also lead to tooth decay, so I'd tell that to your husband and hope that he wouldn't want to promote decay in his son's mouth. Is it possible that hubby is determined to pitch in in the middle of the night thinking this will "help" you out? Perhaps you can cut a deal with him and tell him to wait 10-15 minutes after the first cry before he can go in and comfort your son. If he can see just once how your son can soothe himself back to sleep, he may be less likely to jump at the first cry and more likely to wait it out. Routines are hard to set up over and over again, so I understand your frustration. Most kids, though, go through so many growth spurts and changes that many of us make exceptions and then set up the routines all over again. Hang in there!

I suggest before your husband leaves again, try tapering off the bottle at mid-night; it's not necessary if the baby eats well during the day.
Would your son recognize sooner or later that when daddy is home, there may be a bottle at the middle of the night; but when he is gone, there won't be any, and you will soothe him back to sleep ... !?!

You and your husband and your baby should all be on the same team. Probably a whole new team--not getting him to come over to yours, you win, he loses, or vice versa.
Try thinking about it like that for a few days, and see what you come up with on this issue.
Sleep happens every night, for all of us, and the gentleness and connection we feel with the others in our home can help it happen more easily.