18 Month Old Hitting and a Brand New Baby!

Hi K.,
I'm in a similar situation with an 18 month old and a 3 month old (and preemies to boot!). Big brother was not too happy when we brought little brother home from the NICU either. At first he would have nothing to do with me or his brother and even blew raspberries at him! Slowly he warmed up to both of us and now likes to give him 'kisses' although we really have to watch.
So far when he hits or pokes his little bro we tell him "nice hands" and show him how to touch nicely. It can become tedious and it's important to make sure that the baby is not left within his reach unless we are right there. I was afraid it would be a battle but it does seem to be getting better and big brother has become a great 'helper'. Good luck to you!

Congrats on your new baby! As far as your 18 month old, don't let her near the new baby until this behavior stops. As I told another mother with a similar problem, you need to play bodyguard. Let your little girl know that she won't get to see her brother until she stops hitting you. Also don't let her hit you. You basically need a reaction that startles her, and also to deprive her of you for a moment. If it were me, I would probably quickly pin her to the floor and keep her there until she calms down, since the message isn't getting across. Good luck!

First, it takes a long time for it to sink in to a 18 mos old that it isn't okay. So be patient and consistent. Remove her every time she hits, tell her to stay put and that she wasn't being nice when she hit.
She hits because she doesn't have the full verbal ability to explain her frustration, that said it is still not okay.
I am sorry to hear your son is in the NICU and you are very wise to nip this in the bud before bringing him home.
Once she realizes she will be put somewhere in time out and removed from you when she does this it will sink in, it takes time. She is testing you too. I am sure if you are stressed she is feeling some of that, you should feel stressed and not knocking that, just think maybe if there is stress kids pick up on it. Be calm when disciplining her and direct, look her in the face and say "hitting is NOT NICE" and walk away from her. My kids weren't ones to hit but throw things when frustrated so I just took the toy away for the rest of the day and that took a few weeks to work it's magic.
Maybe take her out once a day to do something she enjoys and can burn off her energy and any pent up frustration. Make sure she is sleeping well, getting her fluids during the day and eating healthy, take time to relax with her before your son comes home. In a year you can explain it better and she will be able to be more verbal, right now she hasn't gotten the words. Sometimes I have heard empathizing with them like saying "I know that made you angry, but you are not allowed to hit!!!" so she gets it is okay to have feelings just how she uses that feeling is what is wrong. HUGS!

Good for you! I did the same thing two years ago, and you won't regret it! Here's one of my fabulous comfort food easy super healthy recipies.

Put a can of pinto bean, and a can of red beans in a pot, juice and all. Add about a cup of Salsa, and a tbs or so of chili poweder. Cook until the beans are soft, about 12 minutes? Oh, and use low to medium heat so the beans don't stick to the bottom of the pot. Serve over cooked brown rice (definently invest in a rice cooker-SO easy and perfect every time!). If you're feeling really daring, add in to the beans while they're cooking some turkey sausage or some all naurtal sausage of any kind (Costco or Boise Co Op, I've found a few at Winco). It's the best! Good luck! Email me if you need more!

It's your DD's age, keep doing what you are doing. In time it does decrease, it's just something new she has picked up, all little ones do it. It is repetitive, and you will think why isn't she getting it? But she will get it. Practice on a baby doll, nice touch as the poster before said, and know that you will not be able to leave the baby within arms reach of your DD, at least not for a while. Hang in there and and congrats on the new baby, glad to hear he is doing good!

When she hits, grab her hand and and gently stroke whatever she hit and say "gentle touches" as another poster stated it will become tedious but I think she'll get the hang of it. Hopefully, she'll get it before her brother gets home. I had a almost 2 year old when I had my second and she never hit her sister. I now have a 4 and 2 year old and am having #3 in October. I guess I will find out how my now 2 year old will handle her new brother, but the "gentle touches" have worked before. Good luck.