18 Mo Headbutting When He's Mad

It is a phase, so relax. My little girl did that as well, and sometimes when she did it was on concrete (she ended up one time with a nice bruise on her forehead). She would even get up and move to where I was then resume the behavior if I got away from her. It is for attentions so ignore them if you can. If they are headbutting you then timeouts work or take a favorite toy away. Good luck!

I went through this with my son, he would hit hard floors mostly, and he usually had a bruise on his fore head. My oldest sister did the same thing too when she was a toddler. All I can say is that everyone grew out of it. It is a phase, trust me just try to prevent as much as possible. Good luck!

He is frustrated that he does not know what words to use and even how to say them. So he does action. Try to give him the words. Short and sweet to help him out. My sister used a 'mad sound'. Ry use to punch the floor when was angry. She talked to her son and told him that it hurts mommy when he hurts himself and that she knows he needs her help. So they picked out something that made a great noise. He choose a pot and spoon. When he got angry eh would grab is pot and spoon and bang away his blues. It took a few times of stopping him in the act of punching the ground but after awhile he got it. Each time it was pot and spoon time she would say the words for him....mad, sad, confused, etc... It helped him focus is anger on something that cannot feel. My sister was about to have her 2nd child and was afraid that if he got angry at the baby he would punch the baby not know the effect.

Hello! My son is 3 and will still do this from time to time. I discussed it with his doctor when he started it around 18 months. His doctor said it was a form of regression. You might notice like I did that as your son starts learning several new things at once and when he has a growth spurt that his behavior starts to escalate and get worse for a period before things start to calm down again, then the whole process continues. He suggested familiarizing myself with when growth spurts usually occur and be prepared and ease up on things and activities during those times.

I also noticed that my son would do it after he was done crying as a kind of way to "create" an injury to get a little more attention. If I knew he did it to himself i.e. watched him bang his head on the floor I would not kiss the "ouch" I would tell him he did it and thats not appropriate.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Honestly, someone probably laughed one time and that attention has fueled it. Most of what these little guys do is for attention. I would ignore it. I know it cringes your skin and is concerning but at that age, addressing it only will encourage him to continue it IMO. HUGS...

S.,
I use to have a cousin that would head butt like that also.
They just made sure to have a lot of throw pillows around & would shove one under his head as quick as they could. He only did this for a less than a year. He was found to have fluid in his ears that prevented him from hearing all instructions, etc so he got frustrated & stasrted the head butting thing. Once he got tubes in he was fine from the first day & hasn't done it since. That was 2 yrs ago. I hope this helps!

What kind of products are you selling?

Hi S.,
Man kids can come up with some stuff huh?
I wouldn't worry about him being abnormal or anything. They get frustrated just like us and haven't quite figured out the best way to deal with it. You might could give him some suggestions (without saying anything at all about the head butting) when things are calm.
Well my advice would be to just simply ignore the behavior. The more you respond that more it will just add to the fuel to do it. Kids have a way of doing what works and not doing something that doesn't!
C.

My husband told me once that he used to do that as a child! His parents took him to the doctor, and they were told to let him keep doing it - he'll stop when it hurts bad enough. Interesting, but I guess there's really not much you can do besides move out of his way. I wouldn't pay too much attention to him when he does it. That may promote his headbutting even more. Just get out of the way, and tell him that it hurts you; then act like you're involved in something else.

Good luck!

Besides making sure he isn't really hurting himself (i.e. bleeding) on objects, I would let him continue to do it, and when he realizes it won't get him any attention, he'll stop.

Hey S.,
I have actually read that this is pretty common! It's actually a comfort activity! Like maybe he's frustrated that he can't communicate to you what he wants so he head bangs as sort of a comfort to himself. It's something HE can control therefore its a comfort to him. I also read it relieves his stress. Unless hes hurting himself I wouldn't call the Dr. just yet.
J.

my kids, who will be 3 in May, do the same thing. What my husband and I have found is that when we give them attention, or say 'ouch' or anything they do it more frequently, but when we just ignore it they stop. Plus, after hitting their head on something hard enough times they figure out that it doesn't feel good and they will either stop, or do it softer because they know it hurts and they don't want to hurt themselves.

So, basically just ignore them when they do it. :)

Hi S.,

My son did the same thing. As he gets older, watch to see if he lines his toys up without actually moving them around playing with them; is compulsive, like talks about only one thing or has only one huge interest with the smaller ones; or you may want to look up Aspergers on the net to see more symptoms. I am not saying that is what it is, but head butting is where my son started at an early age.
You may not be able to tell for a year or so, but at least know what to look for and don't put your head in the ground if you do see symptoms.
Dr. Peter Jaillet in Carrollton can help tons with sensory issues when caught early.

I never had to deal with this problem, but I would catagorize it the same as a trantrum and ignore it. I believe it is probably being done to get your attention or to see what response he can get from you. I wouldn't give any reponse at all and see if it stops.

My son did the same thing when he was your son's age. He would bang his head hard on the tile, then scream more because it hurt. He was doing it out of frustration for not getting his way, or to avoid punishment. I just ignored it, went in to the other room and told him to come get me when he was done. He quit just after 2 years, when he realized it was getting him nowhere but hurt! LOL! (My mother-in-law said my husband use to do the same thing!)

My daughter headbutted from this age until about 2 1/2 when she also started holding her breath until she would almost pass out. My doctor said to ignore her and not even look at her during these fits and it worked. She quit pretty quickly after I stopped paying attention to her. That was 38 years ago! Good luck.

My oldest son went through this when he was around a year. He was doing it to avoid getting in trouble or to get more attention. He would hit something hard enough that it hurt a little and left a red mark on his head. We eventually had to just ignore the behavior. Once he stopped getting a reaction he quit doing it.

I run a day care and we've had a case or two in the past 8 yrs that a child has headbutted in his frustration. They are working out their feelings and this is an insant action instead of verbalizing. Be firm in voicing your disapproval at this action. Don't watch him do it, stop the action. Be sure you tell him his actions are "not acceptable". Or "we don't do that". Consistantly tell him to "use your words". For his age you might be limited, but voice words for him such as no, stop, quit, help, mom, dad, etc. Give him a few choices that would be correct for his feelings for the moment. In turning this into a learning lesson for him it also redirects and refocuses his feelings at the time and he will learn. It might not happen as fast as you would like, but you keep constant in the lesson and he'll get it!
Good Luck!

Hi S.!

I used to know someone whose child did this. She put a helmet on him to protect his head, and then took him to a dr. The boy was ADHD big time!! I'm not suggesting your son is that way. However, I would definately consult your pediatrician for ideas.

Also, I suggest contacting Minirth/Meyer Clinic in Richardson,TX. and see what they suggest. Have you tried restraining him and then praying over him? God does work wonders!! This does work with our 9 yr. old granddaughter when she throws a fit. Speak quietly but firmly. He will quit struggling in order to hear what you have to say. Tell him how much you love him, that God loves him. Tell him that you cannot allow him to act this way. Then start praising God for this child, telling God all his attributes and how much you love this child and how much you love God. KEEP AT IT!! When he quits struggling and after you have prayed over him, place him in time out, face to the wall for about 2 minutes. I promise you, it works.

T.
Good luck! Let us know what worked?

Oh My! My oldest son did the same thing. He would get mad and start banging his head. Usually on the floor. Once after he hit a hard floor, he starting head butting people.
We went to visit my husand's grandmother. The head banger got mad about something and started pounding the floor. My husband's grandmother told us that my husband's father used to do the exact same thing!
He did eventually stop. I don't remember doing anything specific except getting out of his way. He found another way to communicate his frustrations.

Well, I am glad to see mine wasn't the only one. :) My son, now 27, did the same thing, starting at about the same age. It seemed to happen more when he was tired or frustrated about something. He didn't so much headbutt people, more likely the floor or the wall. I do remember going into his room when he was old enough to stand in the crib and sometimes he'd be wanting to get out, shaking the crib and butting the rail of the crib. At the time I just thought it was cute, but as he got older, it got to be a common thing when he got mad that he'd butt the wall or floor. Usually I just tried to distract him with a toy, or something to snack on. Seems like it stopped pretty much altogether once he started school (maybe peer pressure?) but to this day, he will occassionally grab the door frame and butt it if he's really frustrated about something. He is married and they are expecting their first this September. Hm? Wonder if theirs will headbutt? Will be fun to see. haha.Oh, by the way, our doctor told me it would not cause epilepsy or blood clots or any of the millions of other terrible things old women like to try to scare young mothers into worrying about. Good luck! Remember, it's probably just a phase. As he is better able to communicate and the frustration level goes down, he may stop altogether.

Contact your local Early Childhood Intervention office now. The service is free for kids until the age of 3. By headbutting, he is seeking input. Make sure that he only hits things that are soft for his protection. Our son did this too. ECI is a place to start. We now have a private occupational therapy. It really costs, but he is a different child now. At the time, he was speech delayed so he thought it was related to his frustration, but it actually turned out the be the other way around. The inability to get the correct input was preventing him from getting the language. Early intervention is the way to overcome this.