17 Mo Hitting and Throwing - Discipline Suggestions?

One thing I have learnt as a mo,m is that kids, no matter how old, try to see what they can get away with when it comes to us as parents. It is now up to us to let them know from the get go what we accept and what we don't. One sure way that worked for me was "praising around'. They love being praised for doing something good. Ignoring his hitting and throwing things but at the same time, praising his favorite toy for NOT hitting and throwing things worked wonders for me. My son would throw things and refuse to pick it up when told. His favorite toy was a stuffed dog called Percy. I would pick up Percy, ask him to pick the object up, pretend to have him pick it up and praise him endlessly for doing so. My son would then want to pick it up now so he could get the same praise. It's worth a try. In my experience this has worked on more than one child in your son's age bracket. Good luck!!!!

We put toys that misbehave in time out. If a toy that is not for throwing 'flies' we say "____ don't fly, he needs a time out" and put it on a high shelf. You can leave a misbehaving toy in time out much longer than an errant child.

Hitting and biting are phases. They all go through it, it's normal. When it happens, reinforce that "we don't hit/bite." At daycare, ask who was in charge, because really, it's their responsibility to make sure the children are safe. I found with my son that the kids who were closest were most likely to hit/bite/scratch. They don't have the words to say, "Hey, I've had enough, I need some space." and they turn and lash out at whatever is closest...their best buddy.

A 17 month old who is not angry is just doing this for attention and it always works. Prevention is better than disciple. Every time you bring attention to the behavior it will just reinforce it and make it interesting. He won't understand time-out at this age. I wouldn't tell him no, just instantly remove him from the situation without saying anything. No anger or annoyance on your part. This is crucial since they pick up on our emotions.

They like to throw things at this age. Get one of those big soft foam balls that are easy to grip and don't damage anything. My daughter used to throw her food on the floor at this age. The day I used the "ignore" technique was the last day she ever did this. It used to make me mad and annoyed! She just got a kick out of it, LOL! One of our dinner guests, a university professor of anthropology if I remember correctly (16 years ago) gave me this advice and all I can say is it made my life 100% easier. Bad behavior goes away almost instantly when ignored. Getting yelled at, time out, spoken too, etc is viewed as a reward in their little brains. Reward them with loads of attention at other times. When he's throwing other objects you can just instantly (SPEED is crucial!) hand him the ball to throw. He'll get it eventually.

It's horrible as a parent to see your child hit others. Mine never did this but my friend's child did this all the time. One day she bit another child and her Mom bit her back. She never did that again. I'm NOT advocating this but it just shows that toddlers are very much just out to get a reaction and it's part of the learning process. Sometimes they just get "stuck".

I used no , be gentle about the hitting and after two chances went to a 30 second time out. For throwing I took the item away if it was thrown after the first warning that trhowing not how we treat our things. It went up on a visible shelf until the next day. The change in tactics on my part took at least a week to be fully understood and the resulting crying fits lessened over time.

It's interesting how many of us are having added challenges with our 17 month olds. I have a 17 month old girl. I have definitely noticed an increase in aggression amongst other things. My only encouragement to you is to steer clear of the "no hit" and do more of the re-directing "gentle (while demonstrating), gentle, nice touch." This really helps them channel their energy in positive ways. I know I said "aggression" but I don't mean that in a completely negative way either, cause like yours, my daughter doesn't really seem to be doing it out of anger. Also, I do indeed put her in time-out at times. It's not my primary discipline (really they are technically too young, primary should be re-directing them), but I do implement it at times. However, there is no way she'd be expected to sit still somewhere. What we do is put her in the playard with no toys and soft carpet flooring. Only one minute, and she will indeed normally cry the entire time. I warn her before hand she will get a time out if she does not obey mommy by X thing, tell her she's now getting a time out because she did not obey mommy by X thing, turn away from her for a full minute, then come back, get on eye level and tell her again that she got a time out because she did not obey mommy in X thing and that she needs to obey mommmy. As you can tell, lots of repitition- she is too young to fully connect one moment to the other. But my daughter is pretty darned smart and strong willed so we decided it's important for her to start understanding action/consequence. Otherwise, I feel she'll really get out of hand sooner then later and I honestly don't want to or plan to ever have to resort to spanking. So, if you can find a safe enough containable area (don't use the crib, but you could use the pack-n-play perhaps if he's no longer using it to hang in otherwise) and do follow the suggestions as to how. The biggest problem parents have with discipline method is typically inconsistency or not going about it in the most effecient way to get through to their child's developmental stage (or, doing it our of their own emotion cause they are angry). Give that a shot. Let's touch base again if there's anything new you learn or I learn to help each other out! -N

I have found that my son throws things when he can't get them to work properly or the toy doesn't work the way he wants. If I keep a close eye on him once I see him throw a toy I calmly ask him to please not throw his toys and then ask if he needs help and do the task together. If that doesn't work I redirect him to something else entirely. It is a process that can take a very long time to get through. At this age it is very difficult for them to be able to control their impulses so there isn't always a discernible reason. As far as hitting, there is this great series of books you can get on Amazon called the Best Behavior Series and there is a book called 'Hands are not for Hitting'. It says that the books are for age 4-8 but I bought the 'Teeth are not for Biting' for my 23 month old son and he really loves it and it seems to be helping to use the words from the book when he bites and then read it together. Just so you know, this is very NORMAL behavior for his age. We have been using 'time out' for a while now and sometimes it seems to help, and other times not at all. I personally think it is a little young for it but do it because it can be helpful for me when I can feel myself getting really frustrated with his behavior and gives me a focus. So I guess it is really a time out for me! Hope this helps.

my daughter has been doing the same thing from about 17 months or so and still at 23 months and it is them testing us and wanting to see the reactions from us and others. Time out absolutly works but it is very hard to be consistant, especially when you are not at home. My daughter goes in time out for up to a minute, right then and there, no toys or anything fun near her on the floor, same spot each time in each room of the house, I try my best to ignore her and carry on with whatever else while she is in time out, if she starts to get up or move too much I just say, stay in time out. This took a couple of times to stick, but worth it:-) When I tell her she can get up I make her come over and stand in front of me and look at my face and tell her that hitting or whatever the offense is not nice and to aplogize to whomever is in the room starting with me. When she was younger she used a sign for sorry (anything you want). Try to remember this too shall pass:-) Good luck

My son was the same way. Still is. He'd do it out of frustration, anger, excitement, playfullness, everything so it was hard. I think its something they just have to grow out of, learn to control the impules, but as a parent we just have to keep disciplining them and trying to teach them how to control it. I would say No hitting, do nice and show my son how to touch softly. If he was throwing something, I'd say no throwing, we only throw balls and take the object away after a couple times of saying no throwing.

My son is 14 months, and he gets SO MAD when he can't get something to work or fit right! As soon as he gets frustrated, he throws it across the room. I don't think we can punish that, because they really aren't able to control their anger and impulses yet! But I love that mom's idea about a "toy time out." So clever! I'm going to try that, but I think we'll have to redirect at the same time. Offer a new toy or activity quickly, or else it might lead to a tantrum.

In terms of hitting, I have had to really be strict on this one. I take my son's hands and say, "Gentle!" and show him how I gently touch his face. If he won't stop (he also grabs at my nose and eyes), I tell him, "Ouch! That hurts mommy!" And I put him down and walk to another area of the room, and do something that doesn't relate to him. He gets the idea pretty quickly, though it hasn't stopped the behavior overall.

Let me know if you figure out something that stops it completely! :)

It certainly can be from frustration of limited communication skills. To have a time out one must understand what is happening. What you are doing will work but bad habits must be unlearned.

tIME OUT WILL WORK HOWEVER IT WILL BECOME VERY TEDIOUS BUT WITH TIME IT WILL EVENTUALLY GET BETTER. HOWEVER HAVE YOU TRIED IGNORING IT . THEN MAYB HE WILL STOP EVENTUALLY OR NOT DO IT. WHEN HE IS AT DAYACARE WHEN HE STARTS TO HIT MAYB THEY CANT TAKE HIM FROM THE LARGE GROUP OF KIDS AND TAKE HIM TO READ A BOOK OR SOMETHING. (REMOVE HIM FROM THE SITUATION FOR A FEW MIN) HTH. LET US KNOW HOW IT GOES. BTW WHICH DAY CARE DO YOU HAVE YOUR LO IN?