my 16 year old daughter does not practice good hygiene, has very few friends, and does not like to socialize. Prefers to sit in room and draw pictures of cats most of the time. She has become disinterested in school as well. Should I be concerned? She has always been quiet and shy but seems to be getting worse.
Sounds like depression. What you describe is more than ordinary teenage angst and moodiness. Get her some help!
Hi L.,
Short answer, yes, be concerned! Get her some help now, much easier now than later.
Good luck to you, the teen years can be really rough for everyone.
S.
It's hard to tell. Could be depression. Could be typical teenage brooding. Is she gifted and bored with school going to slowly too keep her interest? Hygiene and personal maintenance are not optional. She doesn't need to have a manicure/pedicure done every week, but clean and well maintained are the minimal basics. She likes drawing? Get her involved in drawing classes. Take her to art museums. It's a great way to meet people and if she's a budding talent she's got a great graphical artist career in her future. Not everyone likes heaps of socializing, but it's no good to be a recluse either. It's ok to march to the tune of a different drummer. A physical would not hurt to rule out medical issues. It can be difficult to find your niche.
Find a good counselor who specializes in teenagers. Even if the counselor says everything is just fine, it will have been worth the money just to reassure you :)
Good luck!
Have you talked with her? If she is having issues with hygiene you can guarantee she is being teased at school and that may where the disinterest is coming from. Also drug use, alcohol use, depression can all cause withdrawl. She may need to talk to someone else who can give her some coping skills for the trials of teendom.
She may be the type that prefers a few good friends and not a bunch of false friends and that is okay. Try to arrange for her to socialize (you may have to force it a little) with the friends she does have on a more regular basis. Invite a friend over, have them go to the movies, mall,etc.
Just let her know you are there to help her and listen to her whenever for whatever and then make sure you are. Good luck.
I agree with Bonnie B. Depression is a very common thing in teens. If she doesn't want to talk to you, is there a disinterested (not uninterested) relative--aunt, cousin-with whom she can share her thoughts? Otherwise pay a professional. Let her know you are concerned and just want her to be happy.
It could be depression, or she could just be extremely shy which makes it harder to make friends or feel accepted at school. I would monitor her hygiene and encourage it with positive/negative reinforcement, then maybe get her involved in an extracurricular activity that she may be interested in and is low pressure...martial arts is a good way to increase self-confidence, and you can make friends, but it can also be an introspective, individual sport - TaeKwonDo was a good option for me because I hated team sports at school, but TKD was great exercise and allowed me to have a skill that exposed me to other people, but did not force me to interact with them....and it also encourages good school work - they promote good grades, education, community service, etc. Also - volunteering would be good - get the focus off of herself and put it on others that need help - and that will boost her self esteem as well - help her to feel needed and useful with low pressure because HSers can be mean. She can work at a retirement community, soup kitchen, YMCA, etc....sitting in her room all day does not let her express herself or give her a sense of accomplishment. She should be stimulated with the outside world and it will get her out of her own thoughts. My dad used to always say Idle hands are the devil's workshop- so the more she sits around by herself and thinks, the worse she is going to feel. You can also do any other these after school activities with her so it is improved bonding time and maybe she will open up to you - and it will also encourage her to keep going and feel more accepted and comfortable having someone there she knows.
You better do something, she is at a prime age for depression. It may be nothing, but if she is depressed, then you need to get her help. The lack of social interaction and poor hygiene are classic signs of teenage depression.
Hopefully it's not this, but please get her to a therapist soon. She'll probably deny it, but isn't it better to be safe than sorry? If you do a little research, teenage depression is really high. It's scary.
Good luck
Julie
I'm guessing some level of depression, too. I would seek help from a counselor.
I know that poor hygiene, disinterest in life, and non-social behavior are very strong indicators of depression. Has she always been like this? If these are new personality changes, you should get help for her ASAP. The worse the depression gets, the more she will lose interest in keeping up her looks, her health, her body. My son suffered with this. I thought he was bored or just fighting with friends... Turns out he was severely depressed. He got help, both therapy and meds. He's a new kid. He just left for college, he likes his roommates, socializes, brings the guys out to wakesurf... He's engaged in life and loving it. Please get her some help.
Good Luck.
Hmmm. I would start with the hygene issue, and then worry about the socialization issue. Maybe there is a guy that she likes that's in to grunge...
Hello, I agree you should talk to her and get her some help. It do sounds like depression, My son went thru that also, his hygiene was not good and it lasted for a while, but sometimes it don't get better, it will get worst. Please take some time with just you and she and have a girl talk, listen but don't point fingers. Good Luck and please keep me posted.
something is wrong. Call your doctor and get suggestions for help soon. AF
Doing nothing is the worse thing possible. I know teens are a bit much but just being there and listening is a big deal. Start with going out to places she likes,maybe something to do art or other things that interest her. If you can't get her to open up get her help!! You never know. I think it is better to do anything than nothing.
T.
I would be concerned. Have you talked to her to see if anything is bothering her? This sounds like it could be depression. It might be a good idea to make an appointment with her doctor to make sure there is no medical issues going on and to make him aware of what is happening.
You definitely should be concerned. Your daughter seems to have issues of low self-esteem and looks like she's given up on herself. You need to find her either a good therapist or an activity where she'll feel valuable. She seems to like cats, why don;t you start her doing some volunteering at SPCA/ Instead of drawing cats she can really start helping the cats that need her. Also low interest in school can lead to low chances with getting good education, which< I think> is very important for any child's future.
