My oldest will be 15 on Wednesday. After getting thier ear pierced at 12 they have said that they want the bar bell piercing ( pierced at the top of the ear and a bar connecting to another hole across the ear). We said that they had to wait until at least 15 to get that. When asked what they wanted for thier birthday... this is what was said, even over getting thier own phone. With the first piercing they were very good at taking care of it. Has never had an infection in it, cleaning every day. This is the only thing they want for thier birthday. We would go to a tattoo shop to have it done... not in a store or by a beautician. I have called and they will do it with a parents permission signing the waver There is nobody else in thier class that has this or another friend, after seeing a pic of it has just always wanted it. I thought by now ( 3 yrs later) it would fade out wanting this done, but instead has only grown more excited to have it.
Would you let your 15yr old child get this done?
Even if it was a boy...
He has never cared what others think. He has become a pretty thick skinned kiddo after years of bullying. He likes to be himself and not get put into a box with others. He loves living outside of the box and doing what he wants to make himself happy and wont follow a fad. He has had a Mohawk that was down past his shoulders ( wore it in a pony tail or french braid) he has gone threw every color of the rainbow with his hair. He has his own style of clothes ( nothing goth or anything, I wont allow that one lol). He was the first to get his ear pierced in his class among the boys. I don't care about the hair... hair is hair it can always grow out back to natural. I didn't care about the one ear ring. He proved himself that he can take care of it... Im just having some doubts about an industrial piercing. I know after it heals he can wear the balls so its not obvious and he can still look respectful when occasions come up that he needs to be. If he doesn't like it later in life the holes will scar but they are in a place that isn't obvious ( like the hole in his ear now).
what are your thoughts about this?
Thank you meagan you just made my day :) I am pretty proud of him for being himself.
Yes he is very responsible.... sometimes slacks around the house, but what kid doesn't. He is a very respectful boy, always uses his manners even to us. He is getting bummed right now because he is getting 1 B... otherwise he is all A's in school.
8 normally I agree with your out of the box thinking... but really? Your right I support his not caring what other people think attitude. He needs to be who he is. That will get him farther in life with his goal than following the crowd. Obviously Im not going to let him keep going with the piercing if Im having reservations about an ear. Meth and an ear piercing aren't even in the same ball field!! I think you just helped me with my decision... he will be getting it. At least he has no interest in doing the meth, pot or any other drugs for that matter or spending his weekends out with his friends getting drunk like the "cool " kids do.... thankfully that not caring what others think attitude, my son is one of a few that hasn't tried any of that among his friends. Yes I do know that for a fact as we are very open in our communication. Thank You!
My thought is that you told them 3 yrs ago that they could get it at 15 then you shouldn't go back on that. He still wants it after all this time then he really wants it. Plus it is removable (unlike gauges!)
I have always been one to let my kids do some off the wall things. I would not allow that. At some point he will want a career and a fair few of them that would not fly. Depending on the interviewer the holes are not hard to spot on the ears.
I think if any of my kids hit this point I would start making them express why they want it so badly. Prove they have thought beyond the here and now. Outside the box would not cut the muster as a reason.
You should be SO freaking proud that you raised a kid that is that self aware! I'm seriously jealous and hope I can do as well with my little ones, so kudos to you!! I'd say yes, especially since you told him he had to wait till he was 15... LIke you said, it's a hole in his ear, it's not a tattoo (which I will be okay with when they get old enough.. as long as my husband draws it lol) and he sounds pretty dang responsible! And I have to say how freaking awesome it is to hear a mom like you that is actually PROUD of their kid and not trying to force him into a box! You should be proud.. and IF you can afford it I'd throw in the phone as a surprise, the piercing won't be expensive and he sounds like a pretty amazing kid. Congrats!
I would keep my word and let him get it. You told him to wait three years and he has.
(I interview and hire people. I've never turned away a good candidate because they have a piercing scar on their ear or their eyebrow, etc. I am only concerned about the image they portray right now. I wouldn't hire someone with a piercing that interfered with their clear speech, for example.)
I wouldn't. However, you did tell him if he waited he could. So, how could you go back on that now?
I feel like there's a reason the law requires parental consent...they're hoping most parents will say no. I personally would not consent. Tell them when they can do it on their own it's their choice. But, hey, that's me. We're all different. Good luck.
Whatever you decide make sure first to check you school districts policy on piercings.
I would hate for you to get it done and the school make him take it out.
Before we went for the piercing, I would take him to his doctor to discuss the pros and cons. Cartilage piercings need to be cared for differently than soft tissue piercings.
If, after speaking to his doctor, he still wants the piercing, I would let him do it. I would probably make it conditional that there be no other piercing until he's 18 but that's just me.
My niece really wanted an eyebrow piercing. Badly. My brother was concerned because she was going to college in another (more conservative) state, she might regret it. They agreed that she would wait until she got to college and make the decision then. As you can imagine, she came home at Thanksgiving with her eyebrow pierced but at least she made a more informed decision.
Good luck!
I'd say if he wants it and can take care of it, then let him. My mom never let me have my ears pierced and it ended in trying to do self piercings. I got my cartilage in my ears done by my friend's mom lying and saying she was my mom. That was a long time ago and they only check the parent's id, not the kiddos. (don't know if they do that now) So... if he's determined he could find an unsafe way to do it. (not saying he would, just know that I did)
Tattoo shops are very professional, not the stigma that movies give them. If they don't seem professional, don't go there and find another one. I think he sounds very responsible and wants to be him. If he's wanted it for 3 yrs then, I'd let him. Good luck in whatever you decide :-)
Im surprised that your schools allow all the hair styles and colors and piercings. Ours do not. That said, I was one of those 'alternative' kids in school. I had purple hair (in places, not all over) and my mom was fine with it. (I'm 42 now, so it was quite a while ago). She said that she was fine with it and was glad that I chose to express myself that way instead of smoking, drinking or doing so many of the things that some kids do. I had four ear piercings in one ear and two in the other. Wore clothes from the Limited, before they became 'the' place to get your clothes (way back then). I got picked on in school, but that started way before my alt. style choices.
I see nothing wrong with it. If he decides later in life that he doesn't like it he can just take it out and have a very small couple of holes, not like one of those gage earrings that stretch the ear out.
I always wanted a tatoo and waited until I was 26. I have never regreted it, but my tastes have changed and I kind of wish it were something else now. (Celtic knot instead of Nat. Amer. medicine wheel)
Why not? It's a piercing. It's not permanent.
And as someone with many tattoos whose spent a good amount of time in tattoo/piercing parlors, as long as the parlor has piercers that ONLY pierce (ie: not a guy that does both tattoos does some piercings), it'll be a perfectly good experience. They're required by OSHA to be sanitary in every way.
A full time piercer has done it a million times and will know exactly what to do to minimize pain and keep things cleanly.
I wouldn't allow it, but my reasons would be different than ours due to religions reasons and that we strive to keep our bodies like a temple, clean from piercings, tattoos, extreme dress and such.
All I can say about the piercing, is I had a few friends with that when I was in high school, I also had cartilage pierced, and gauged earrings (when I was younger, been removed now). Industrial piercings are harder to care for, and a lot more painful. Also, I am pretty sure he will not wear just the balls when it heals, the point is to wear the bar. Perhaps he would wear the small studs if for a job or a funeral or something.
I would base my decision as a parent, if he is otherwise responsible at home, respectful and doing well in school. He would have to be doing all of those things.
Also, piercings are addictive, so be prepared for that. I had friends with piercings in their arms, wrists, hands, between their eyebrows going down the bridge of their nose, upper backs that laced up like a shoe, even one friend with a thick clear rod right below his throat. I myself almost had my wrist pierced, but was talked out of it b/c it is more painful, doesn't heal very well and gets snagged a lot. So, I would talk to him about our expectations and if there are lines you will not allow and why.
I would let him, they are his ears after all! My son asked for and got his ears pierced at the age of 3. I have had people ask me why I would allow it, and for me the answer is simple. I would have allowed a girl, and I am not in to double standards, plus it is just a piercing, if he changes his mine all he has to do it take it out like my 7 year old did after having his done for about a year. My younger son, now 6, still has his in and loves them. I have always said body piercing would have to wait until their teens. At 15, I think you son is plenty old enough to handle a piercing of his choice, plus you told him he could get it at this point, do you really want to go back on your word? How hurt will he be after all this time waiting with the excitement building if you than say you still will not allow it to be done?
Also remember that he lives in a different generation and piercings are the norm for them. There are more young people pierced than not these days! So it is not a matter of rebellion, it is just what he likes!
The only thing I have limited my son on is piercings and tattoos. He is 15, not conventional, but not extreme either, but is a boy who has a well developed sense of self and cares little for peer pressure. I have told him he can make his own choices about piercings and/or tattoos when he turns 19. Why 19? Because, to me, it is the beginning of his "true" adult hood, and decisions affecting his future self should be made by the adult those decisions will affect.
With that being said, an upper ear piercing is really not that extreme. Like you said, if he decides later in life to take it out he has a small scar on his ear. So much more discrete than a hole through his eyebrow or lip. :)
Good grades, healthy self image, well mannered - I say you have a terrific teen that sounds more mature than most his age.
You do need to decide what limits you will set on his body art though. If this is the last one that you will finance let him know now so it does not become an issue between the two of you later. Sounds like he would respond well to that conversation anyhow. :)
God Bless
It's just jewelry. Let him have it.
Tough call. Overall I'm not a huge fan of piercings or tattoos. BUT he has had the chance to prove to you that he is responsible in the past and I'm all for self-expression....considering his personality that you've described above, he sounds like a cool kid that knows what he likes...I'd probably let him do it.
i got my first piercings at 16....it was my eyebrow....i wish it was my ear lol...i dont think the ear is a big deal....if they dont like it it will heal and leave minimal scarring....my eyebrow however is a hot mess...i may object to facial piercings until they are old enough to do it on their own...
those are larger holes than just an ear peircing hole - i think a person should be 18 before making decisions that will permanently alter their appearance, but that's just me...
Okay, this is coming from someone HEAVILY tattooed...
I'd make him wait until at least 16. First off, most tattoo parlors (and yes, good for you, that is the SAFEST most sterile place to get a piercing!!) won't allow anyone under the age of 16 with a parent, HERE, most places won't even let you in the door until 18, even if you have a parent. You might want to call around to where you were thinking of going, put them on speaker phone, and if they won't touch him until 18, have them explain why over the phone so your son hears it as well. It's not a thing about fairness and permission, it could be the law in your area as well.
Here's the thing... you don't want him going to some dude's garage to get it done either. I think it's super that he asked permission and you're on the fence about giving it, and I think it's wonderful you support his individuality!! :)
ANYWAY, while some people pull off piercings, most of the time, I see them and positively cringe. I know, I know, super tattooed lady doesn't like piercings, seems like and oxymoron, right? BUT, you are more likely to get an infection or keloids (dammit I was trying to think of that word on another post a different day!)... and you're left with the hole FOREVER.
My husband used to have his ears pierced and gauged out... yeah, he hasn't worn earrings in YEARS, but you can totally tell. Not the prettiest, but I still love him. He also used to have one nipple pierced, and not only is the hole still there, but because he sweats while working, it STILL gets infected sometimes... and this is 30 years later.
My point is, piercings are not the greatest way to express yourself. Tattoos can be removed... piercing holes can not. I'd call and see what the shop says in regards to his age, and take it from there. It truly is better though that he does this with your support than in some guys basement. It's your kid, your call. I wouldn't think anything of it if I saw your son; I wouldn't judge him (my 7 year old has 2 holes in each each, with my 6 year old lobbying for the same).
Weigh the pros and cons, speak with the shop, and if he's really serious... and I cringe saying this... go for it ;)
I would allow him to have it done, esp if he has the same gusto for it 3yrs later. My nephew has gauges (the bigish holes in the lobes) they are not terribly large but attractive to me and he just got his industrial for his 17th bday. He only did not get a tattoo b/c his mother/father could not both agree.
I went and got my ears double-pierced when I was that age. I thought I was being SO rebellious. I came home and showed my mom and she said, "They're YOUR ears, why would I care?" Well, that took the wind out of my sails pretty quickly!
I guess the less of a big deal you make of all of this, the less he will want to do more of it. Because he couldn't do it at 12, it attained "untouchable" status, which probably made this new piercing seem so much more fascinating. (Although I wouldn't have let my 12 year old do it, either, so I can sympathize with you.) I would just let him do it. It's not like it's going to be that weird after a multi-colored mohawk, right?
Honestly I wouldn't do it.
My oldet wanted piercings and tattoos. I said wait until 18. At 17 he enlisted into the NAvy and Mother Navy said no. So his decision was made.
Now if he wants to defile his body he has to ask permission from his Chief. So far it hasn't happened.
Just an aside...
I am an architect, and it's becoming fairly common that even people in my field have tattoos and piercing scars, etc. I wouldn't be too worried about "future" repercussions; if he gets tired of it, it should heal up pretty well, and most interviewers (even in large companies) have seen everything by now.
Hope he takes better care of it than I took care of mine. Infections make nasty scars. :(
