Daughter Wants Piercings

At 14, I don't think so! She vcan do that at 18, that will give her something to look forward to, and maybe she won't want it by then. It certainlt isn't a thing of beauty and businesses don't want that look on their employees.

I'm 32 years old and also mom of a 3 mon baby boy. I have bellybutton piercing my self.If i had a daughter i would let her have it done. I did not had any problems with it, it took a long time to heal (6-8 weeks) she would have to keep it clean. It is little bit painful when you have it done,after then it's just little bit sore.. She can take it :). If you have any other question please let me know.

Good luck!

I have a friend who is a licensed acupunturist, and he says that having the belly button pierced is not a good idea because of the "trigger points" in your belly region. Besides all of the chances of infection, and like others said, it's painful and you then have to wear low cut pants from then on. But to me the health issue is the biggest thing. And have you ever seen a woman who got pregnant with a belly ring? It's disgusting. Go with the ear, tell her to wait on the the belly and hopefully she will choose not to do it later.

Before I begin I want you to know that this is coming from someone who has had quite a bit of experience with body piercings. Seven excluding my ears.

Generally, body piercings are harmless as long you go to somewhere well known and accredited for good piercings. Make sure everything used is sterile and gloves are used!! Going to deep or not deep enough is not good. Rings are better than barbells until completely healed. They are easier to keep clean. Do some research on places around where you live. Not every place is nasty.

There is a slight risk of infection or rejection. I mean, it is a foreign object in your body. Infection is sometimes but not always a sign of rejection but it is unlikely that it would happen. A true sign of rejection is if the piercing rises to the surface of the skin. Your body doesn't like it and is pushing it out. Then it should just be removed and the piercing cared for as an open wound.

Infections can mostly be cleared without removing the piercing. Keeping it very, very clean is key. Clean it twice a day with Bactine and in the shower with soap and water, turning the ring and making sure to rinse thouroughly. DO NOT USE ALCOHOL!! Sometimes, once mostly healed, changing to a new ring will help. Oh, and any piercing hurts when getting it done, but only for a quick moment :)

Here is what I think of a 14 yr old getting them. The industrial bar I see no problem with. It only draws attention to her ears, and later in life the scars will not be visible on her ear. I had one when I was 14.

My view on the belly button is different. Aside from any slight scaring, I'm worried more about why she wants a navel ring. I believe the whole point in piercings is to accentuate a certain body part. (even simple earings are meant to do the same) At 14, 15, 16 the reason might not be just because "everyone else has one." And the reason "everybody else has one" is for the same reason an adult would have one...to draw attention and show off.

I got mine at 15 years old (and later got the other three sides pierced later) for attention and to be cool. It got me a lot of attention and was fun at first, but what I didn't realize until way later on is that I was after the wrong kind of attention. I'm 25 now and no longer have any of my piercings. I have three little girls of my own that look up to me now, and my husband loves me even without a piece of metal shoved through my navel or any other body part. I really, really, really DON'T LIKE young girls getting their navel pierced. That is just my opinion though.

Please put a lot of thought into it and make sure she does the same. Let her read this if you have to. Maybe hearing it from someone who's done it, is still young, not in her peer group, and not her mom (no offense!) will make a difference.

I really hope I've helped. Please give an update and let me know how it goes. -- E.

hi my name is R. u. i guess i am old school. i have 7 kids and i told them all no piercings or tattooes till you are 18. then you pay . 3 did. i think a 14 year old has no business with that stuff. they say it's what is in. oh well. with the belly ring comes the little shirts to show it off. if she wants the big barr in he ear. tell her she can have it after she has saved up enough money for the plastic surgery to repair the hole when she out grows it. it will happen. my 24 year old boy did the same thing. i don't what to sound mean but there are so many other ways to express yourself in a positive way then that stuff. good luck. R. p.s. my daughter had the belly buttin ring. then 2 babys. needless to say you can guess what that looks like now. i just hate to see young people marr their beautiful selves.

I don't anything about pain, but I imagine it would be most uncomfortable. And when they do their bellybutton doesn't it more or less dictate what they wear after that, has to be low enough or high enough to show it or to keep it from hurting?

But my personal opinion is that she's awfully young to have this done. I would have her wait till she's 18, a legal adult, before having that done. Gives her more time to think about it and once their own their own, they can make that choice. I know too many 14yo that have made decisions and then looked back a few years later with regret. I know she probably thinks it's now or never to get this done, most of her friends are doing it, whatever, but I would have her wait.

Best of luck.

Take it from someone who knows from experience: DO NOT DO THE NAVEL! I've had mine done and so has my younger sister. My sister is now 15. I am 24. We both had our belly buttons pierced professionally and both of our navels became infected. I found out that it is much easier for a navel to become infected then an ear. So now neither of us have a navel ring but we both have a scar and a memory of how painful it was. I personally thought my sister was too young to get hers done but she insisted and my father relented. I would much rather see her with something in her ear than in her navel anyway. With some teenage boys these days, we don't need anything making their eyes travel farther south on our bodies than our chins. LOL!

I think the ear bar is probably safe but still could get infected, so if you let her do that just make sure she's taking care of it b/c piercing infections can be painful. I would steer clear of the belly button for now, b/c that piercing has a tendancy to get very infected and the ring typically "grows out of" the skin, meaning your daughter's belly button will probably reject the piercing and it will fall out anyway, causing infection and will leave a strange looking hole in her navel (I'm speaking from experience here...lol, I went through a piercing phase in college). I think at her age piercings are just a way to be "cool" and express herself, and not really dangerous or bad. I would compromise and let her get piercings your comfortable with so that she feels independent but you don't have a teenager with a giant nose ring. : )

I would suggest telling her to do a little research on piercings so that she knows how to take care of them and tell her to report back to you (in the meantime you can also do your own research). If she really wants a piercing she'll do it, and you'll be more prepared and she'll probably read some horror stories and change her mind anyway. Either way she has to put a little effort into it! Also, you probably want to stay away from a tongue ring b/c they can cause actual damage to the tongue if not done by the right person.

If you decide to let her do any piercings, also do some research on where to take her b/c some places are not clean.

Good luck!

Yes, they are painful at the moment it is done and then very sore for a while after. As long as the place doing it is clean and respectable, then you shouldn't have to worry about it. She will have to clean the area for about a month to avoid infection. Some of the replies say not to let her get it done, I personally would ask her to wait so she would be mature enough to remember to keep it clean...but you know your daughter better than any of us...and by the sound of your question it does not seem like you mind her getting one. I would check the dress code where she goes to school. If she is not allowed to wear them to school then that means she would have to take the piercings while at school. This could cause the holes to close up and she would just have to get it done again. Might wait until summer when school its out if that is an issue.

I agree with Elizabeth O. below. I've also had several piercings, and in general I feel they are less of a big deal than tatoos because they aren't so permanent, but I wouldn't allow my 14 yo to get a bellybutton ring.

I pierced my bellybutton when I was 16 without my parents knowledge. Because I had to hide it, it got infected. The bellybutton is actually very easy to get infected because it can get snagged and rubbed against. I got it done later at 19 again after the first one finally healed. I don't really see a problem with them once the girl is old enough to know how to handle the attention that it IS going to get her. Because they aren't as simple as an ear piercing, there is a sexual aspect to them. When I see them on girls that young, I automatically make judgements that I have to remind myself might be unfair (and I realize hypocritical too) but I know exactly what was in my mind and my friends' minds when I got mine. Ears aren't as big of a deal to me. My parents rules regarding tattoos and piercings were always "when you are 18" and that is going to be my rule as well.

If you decide to let her do either, you have to make sure the place has a very good reputation. There is a risk of infection as well as disease. Hepatitis is big risk. You want to make sure they open the sealed sterile needles in front of you and use gloves, and then you need to follow the care instructions very closely.

os a mom with 3 holes in each ear belly button eyebrow nose and tounge with no problems out of any other than finding a job at 14 i would have to agree with the ear cuz at that age she dont need a reason to show off her mid section clothes are getting bad enough as it is i have told my daughter she wont be able to get hers done till she is at least 16 the first set of holes she wants will be a second hole in her ears right above the first ones then cartalige but she has to be able to tae care of them

She can get infection in either one, so if she does it, make sure she goes to some clean place to do it. But I wouldn't allow it, and there would be MAJOR consequences if she showed up with it done without your permission.

IMO it's about how mature she is and if she will take care of them. They both require a lot of care. I had my bellybutton, and my 18 year old has both her belly button and an industrial bar. She has had the industrial since October, and still has issues with it getting caught on shirts if she is in a hurry and it bleeds or gets infected. Again like the pp said, I don't care for it, but she's a good kid, and if a piercing is the worst she wants, ok. They will eventually heal or close up.

Hi H.,

As someone with piercings, 9 ear & 1 belly button, I truly don't see the harm in having it done. I have never had any issues with my piercings and have always followed the care instructions given to me at the piercing shop.

At this age, I don't see any harm in allowing her to have her ear pierced. However, when I had my belly button pierced the shop where I had it done had a policy that they WOULD NOT pierce the belly buttons of anyone younger than 16(it may have even been 18). Also, for the care of my belly button piercing, I was told to use DIAL antibacterial soap, 2x a day(I chose morning and night). I had to lather a little drop on my belly button and rinse it. No problems while it healed and I still have it to this day. I can't remember the care instructions for my ears because I had my first piercings when I was 5 and then did the others up until I did my last ear piercing while in Junior College.

Good luck,
J.

My 14 year old was allowed a second hole on her birthday. I took her myself and it was surprise becuase she had asked for it for over a year. I think we need to be selective with how we let our girls mutilate themselves. Belly button should be at 16 (if deserving). I am not sure about the industrial bar. I don't like the sounds of it - I'll have to goole and find out what that one is.

Just keep a strong grip like you and your husband are doing. Give them a little leeway - you don't want total rebellion. It's alot harder to get a handle on that.

YES they are painful! But, she's 14. Does her school allow visible piercings (other than earlobes)? Most states do not allow the piercing of minors even WITH a consent form, and the presence of a parent. Some tattoo shops are honest and won't do it and some just want your money whether it's illegal or not. Check up with your laws. With proper aftercare (lots of warm saltwater) the piercings will heal usually within 4-6 weeks, the ear about two months because it's pierced through cartilage. If you're comfortable with your 14 year old daughter having these piercings, than good luck! I wasn't allowed to have anything other than my earlobes pierced until I was 18.

The belly button is a slow healing piercing. The safety of either, of course depends on proper care including making sure the navel ring isn't snagged on clothing. My biggest concern with navel rings at this age is who would actually see the thing? If no one, why get it? Not being one to approve of middriff baring styles for early adolescent girls, I find the navel ring to be one I disapprove of. Also, I like to remind these girls that a navel ring is NOT unique, original or daring. It is very common. I think it is good to try to encourage teens to find more productive ways to express themselves when possible. Having had several piercings in my mid to late teens, as well as a couple tatoos, I can relate to this form of self expression, but I would definetly offer as much guidance as possible to a young girl going in the same direction. I would also suggest that she pay for it herself to see if it is really worth the $$. Good luck. BTW, the industrial can cause long term stretching/scarring! Maybe remind your daughter that her earlobes will naturally droop with age & this can be very unattractive LOL

both are safe, the navel isn't that bad as far as pain and with any piercing if she keeps it clean right and doesn't touch it other than cleaning it shouldn't get infected, the industrial i don't have but i have several others in my ears in different locations and i think it may hurt but my motto is no pain no gain (i am heavily tattooed/pierced LOL) just be sure the shop you go to is clean and you are good to go

as long as they are done by someone who knows what they are doing its safe. belly button at 14 is kinda iffy i think... if its pierced at 14 shes gonna wanna show it off at 14 you know what i mean....
my hubbys little brother 14 asked us to take him to get his tounge pierced, our thoughts were if he wanted it done we would take him b/c if he wanted it bad enough he would find a way to get it done which is way more dangerous than having someone who knows how to pierce do it... as far as waiting until they are 16 thats great but like i said you have the drivers licenses then you go get it done, your 18 yeah you may not want it done and waiting til 21 thats just stupid your an adult at 18.... its a hole it will close its not like a tattoo thats there forever....
p.s. i wanted a belly button ring at 12 didnt get it done chickened out, well when 18 came around i was pregnant and a belly button ring just didnt look to hot on a fat preggo chick lol!

I am a younger mother of three (I'm 27) and I went through the crazy piercing phase about 12 years ago as well. I know alot of people aren't going to agree with my views...my initial thought was that 14 was too young for the belly button piercing (and I think that it is). If it were my child, I think I wouldn't allow anything like that until she was 16. The industrial bar isn't a big deal. It is safe (as a piercing can be) but alot of people have problems with sensitivity afterwards and end up having to take it out anyway (probably a parents blessing!). Now, having said all of that, I think it is great that you are keeping an open mind. My mother said no, no, no to everything, however, I went out and did it anyway. This opens the doors to children going to "shady" non-sterile places, and could be much more dangerous, so keep that in mind. I have my belly button pierced and my cartlidge pierced and have had them since I was about 17. As far as pain, it all depends on your tolerance. Neither bothered me, but my sister almost passed out. I personally don't think it's a big deal, but I would maybe wait on the belly button until she's a little older. Good Luck...hope that helps!

I don't have piercings, but our 3 older kids got pierced ears (yeah, the 2 boys, included) after they left home. Youngest daughter is 20 and doesn't (yet, anyway). Ours were very compliant kids even though we were pretty strict. If you're not, just don't make a big deal of it, but I'd surely make her earn her own money to pay for any 'unusual' piercings (other than once per ear). Also tell her she's responsible if they get infected, turn out wrong, etc. (have epsom salts on hand for her to make a compress if necessary!)

My opinion, when you're 21 you have control of your body until then parents are in control. Unless you live in your parents house at 21 than you still have to obey their rules. Not at 14 yr.

I have boys but the way I see it is if a piercing is the worst thing they do I am doing a ok job. Both only hurt for a minute the belly button can be covored but some jobs may not like the idea of the indust bar Just something to think about I have my belly button pierced and to be honest it is not as bad as you would think. IMO it is a form of expression and piercings can be taken out. My 16 yo got his lip pierced last month and he really likes it I dont care alot for it but as long as he is a good kid I think it is ok. Has alot to do with there maturity also in my oppinion

My personal opinion, there is no way I would let her do anything like that until she is 18 and can make her own adult decisions. Regular ears is it until 18...maybe belly button at 16. Maybe you should go with her to see what the industrial bar is before you make your decision.

Fortunately, I have not had to deal with this question with my children yet. I'm not really into the piercing thing myself. We have some friends who went through this with their daughter and they told her that they did not approve of a belly piercing. The child tried to pierce herself and became quite ill from an infection. After they dealt with the infection, they again told her how they felt and again she tried to pierce it herself and hide it from them. Again she got an infection. This was the case for about three times. The first two they thought that she would not want to be sick anymore and would give up on the piercing. After the third infection was cleared up they took her to a professionally licensed piercing business.

My sister secretly got her belly pierced in college. I think that she was into that for a while, but now that she is older and has a professional career, I don't think she really wears a piercing jewelry in her belly anymore.

If I had to pick one I'd be more likely to let her get the belly piercing.

Whatever you decide - I would never let her get her tongue pierced. I have heard that people who get their tongue pierced later have an increased chance of getting a heart infection and having serious heart problems.

Since you ask what we think, I would have to give it the big thumbs down. I believe our bodies are a gift from God and we should take care of them accordingly, not defile them with excessive, unsafe, painful, ugly holes or tattoos - one pair of holes in the ears for earrings is appropriate.

It definitely isn't "expressing" oneself; it is following the crowd and doing what "everyone" SEEMS to be doing. She may well regret such a thing later, and our job as parents is to give guidance, and put our feet down when they want to do something outrageous. Once she's 18, she can make that sort of decision, but as her legal guardian it's all right for you to have a firm answer.

If she's hanging with the kind of kids who think this is great stuff, that might be part of the problem. Instead of focusing so much on her body, maybe she needs more activities (service, volunteer work, a hobby, etc.) Just my thoughts! I recommend the book Teen Proofing by John Rosemond (www.rosemond.com). Good luck!

DO NOT let her have these piercings at her current age. These piercings represent things that I am sure you rather not have your 14 yr old daughter affiliated with, sexual undertones if you must know. When she turns 18 and is graduated and quite possibly out of your house AND SHE pays for the piecings, wish her luck. I have piercings, tattoos and the like and so does my sister. She started out much younger than I did and came to resent the assumptions people made about her, mostly people her age. This topic should not even be discussed, tell her now and leave it at that. IF she does it on her own before graduating/moving out, send her to military school, this will only be the beginning of her disobedience. You think I'm joking or being too harsh? Try it.
And yes, it all HURTS and it can easily get infected and leave bad scars. And it has nothign to do with "indiviuality".

hi,how are you?do you think its good to allow her to have any body piercing /tatoos/ at the age of fourteen?do you think it will send the wrong signal?

I know you have already gotten a ton of responses, but thought I would add mine as well.

I have 11 ear piercings (including stretching my ears), a tounge ring, belly ring and nipple rings along with 3 tattoos (so far). So to say the least, I am rather experienced with them, along with having a few friends in the industry as well.

In my experience, if she really wants them done, she will find a way to have them done. My suggestion is to sit down and talk to her and find the true reason she wants these piercings done. Weigh the pros and cons for her and you as well and make a decision together. In my opinion, I think 14 is too young for a belly piercing; besides the "sexual" show off my body overtones, a girl's body is still growning and maturing at 14 and who knows what the piercing will look like in 2-4 years when she is fully grown. The professional piercers I have known would not pierce anything below the chin on a 14 year old. The ear however would be no issue for me. My daughter is almost 4 years old and has had her ears pierced since she was 4 months old (done by a professional piercer - not some mall kiosk). She has already started telling us that she wants to stretch her ears like mommy and daddy. While both my husband and I have no issue with her doing this, we both agree that she needs to be much older. If my daughter was 14 and came to me asking for a particular piercing, we would both sit down with her and discuss in full detail what it involves and why she wants the piercing.

Both piercings are safe to do if done by a licensed proffesional piercer (do the research on the shops in your area). Both have potential to become infected or rejected. I myself had issues with both my belly and nipple rings rejecting until I tried a titanium ring and within a day they healed and were fine. My body was rejecting the metal like an allergin. I have known this to happen to several people and once they switch to titatium, their piercings heal without further trouble. Any good piercer will tell you to clean the area twice a day with antibacterial soap and to do a warm water sea salt soak 2-3 times a day. This is the best process for healing a piercing. The belly ring is only going to limit what your daughter has to wear (keeping pant waistline off the piercing) until it is healed. My solution was not buttoning my pants and just folding down that part. No need for low-rise jeans. The ear piercing is going to hurt a lot more since it is going through cartiledge.

I would be thankful that you have a daughter willing to discuss these things with you. I have known too many kids today who will just go do what they want (my own 16 year old sister-in-law included) and not care what the parents think.

H.,
I just wanted to tell you and your daughter of some first hand experience with piercings. I am now a 25 year old mother but as a teen I went through many, many piercings. I did have an industrial done but after a few weeks of suffering trying to sleep on it I finally took it out. That was ten years ago. I still have these two weird knots on my ear where the holes were. Soo not worth it. I also watched a friend of mine have it done. Its still burnt in my memory cause it was so awful. After the needle made the first hole her ear immediately filled with blood. The piercier quickly tried to do the second hole but the needle just wouldn't go through no matter how much force he used or how much her ear stretched. He finally got it after the third try. oouuucchh
As far as the belly button goes...I also had that done at a young age. From what I understand most peoples navel piercings get infected at some time or another no matter how regularly its cleaned. Mine definitely was for several months. My skin actually tried to push the piercing out so it became very shallow. Even though I kept it for a long time it never looked quite right because none of the jewelry fit such a shallow piercing.
But the list goes on with trouble I've had with piercings and the after affects I still have to deal with today. People say, oh well its a piercing not a tattoo so its not permenant. Not True! I never had a single piercing that I don't still have some kind of scar from. Just some things for your daughter to think about before making such a permenant decision!