My 13 month old is still not sleeping through the night. He is 13 months old but he was 2 months premature so his adjusted age is 11 months. For months he was only waking up once a night and then two weeks ago he started getting up like 3-4 times to eat. At that point I started a modified crying it out plan.
I would wait 15 minutes, then comfort him, wait 15 again etc. I would still allow him to eat once, after 2 am. This went really well at first, he fell asleep after only one 15 min period and I only had to do it one night, he went right back to eating/waking once.
On the 5th day, he started waking up again but this time its taking forever to get him back to sleep. Last night he woke at 1130 and went right back to sleep, then at 4:30 he woke up and just refused to go back to sleep. It took about an hour and a half. Does anyone have any ideas for me? I have no idea why this is happening. He has never done this before, he always goes right back to bed after eating. Thanks :)
Thanks everyone for your responses! I just kept on doing what I was doing and he went back to just 1 waking a night for the last two nights! I hope it continues!
It could be acid reflux or gas. Mylicon worked wonders for my daughter for her gas, otherwise she would cry throughout the night. Good luck!
Please know as you read this that I am on your side. I'm not trying to scold nor 'yell at you', OK?
Assuming that he is healthy and that this isn't an issue of allergies or something: This is sounding like a 'control' situation (and guess who's in control!) I'm a 'control freak', so it didn't work for my (4 - now adult) kids, nor does it work for my (3) grandkids.
I think you're a 'pleaser' (which is wonderful to a point) and want him to be comfortable and happy (above all else). Am I right?
This ordeal is way harder on you than it would be on him if you'd just bite the bullet and make it happen. He needs for YOU to be in charge, here. He NEEDS to sleep all night, and it's up to you to make it happen. If someone was making you your favorite dessert in the middle of the night and that's the only time you could eat it, you'd get up, too, but you wouldn't NEED it. He doesn't either. It's just a habit -- and getting worse instead of better.
Didn't mean to get so analytical, but if you don't win this one -- and soon! -- you're in for a lot more battles down the road because he'll have you at his beck and call and he will take advantage of it. You do NOT want that!
Give him a sippy cup (or bottle, if he still uses one) of WATER and a favorite stuffed toy, a music box that he can play himself (if he's 'into' that kind of thing), and when he wakes up, never go to him unless he calls for you. If/When he does call, go in and tell him 'I'm here', firmly tell him to go back to sleep, and leave the room. If you really mean it (and you'll be able to actually FEEL it when you're really 'in charge'), he'll do it.
I'd also suggest watching a couple 'Nanny 911' shows. There's usually a kid who won't go to bed at night (or who gets up in the night) on most shows.
Good luck and God bless!
There may be some other issue going on, like teething, or eating some new food that doesn't quite agree with him. An online friend of mine recently discovered that her 15-m/o son is allergic to eggs. He has started throwing up when they give him anything with eggs (most recently, it was ice cream -- they didn't realize it had eggs in it!); but she's talked about his poor sleeping habits off and on for months, and it had recently had an up-tick. When she recognized the egg allergy, she started reading labels and making sure there weren't any eggs in anything, and he started sleeping through the night. Not all allergies (or food intolerance) manifests as rashes around the mouth -- some things may be more subtle.
He could have problems with acid reflux. I would mention it to the doctor. Milk (or formula, whatever you do) soothes the reflux, so that could explain why he goes back to sleep after that. My son had this problem and after starting medicine for the acid reflux he slept great. I only had to use it for a month before he was fine. Good luck. Hope you are sleeping soon. (It could just be him. My 17mo. old still wakes at night too. BTW, I don't advocate crying it out and my kids know I am in control and have limits appropriately during the day. I'm not a 'pleaser', but I do believe in comforting my kids and think it doesn't do them any harm later on. I've slept with and comforted all 3 of my kids when they were infants and toddlers. They sleep great now and go to sleep fine- on their own. They are only babies once! But, do what feels right to you. To each his own.)
Your son, then, maturity-wise is not yet a year old. Our younger daughter did not sleep through the night... actually not until she was going on TEN YEARS OLD!!! But that is another story.
After she turned one year old, she was very verbal and self-sufficient. In her crib she had a pouch that could play a lullaby when pressed. In it, we put a bottle of water, and later, replaced that with a sippy cup of water instead. She had a couple stuffed toys. We made sure she could get herself water and play her lullaby.
Then came the hard part. We had to teach her to go to sleep without us holding her, touching her, etc. We did it slowly, building up the time away. The first week was miserable.
She had to learn to self-comfort. She had the tools.
Even so, it was miserable for us because she was such a restless sleeper and we could hear her. But we are very grateful we at least taught her very young to occupy herself during her frequent nocturnal awakenings and self-soothe and go back to sleep.
That does not mean we never went in. We did. Every night. She had horrible nightmares, night terrors, and frequently felt horrible, and we went in and comforted her. The difference in her crying was obvious when she was truly distraught, in pain, etc. (Like I said - that all is a different story - she actually had a severe sleep disorder and biomedical problems unfortunately not adequately diagnosed for many years after having the label "mental" (www.ItsNotMental.com) slapped on her). It was a lot better than before, with us up 5+ times each night!
But for normal wakenings and wanting water, just being awake... she amused herself... and at a very young age. But not at 11 months.
Hi J.,
I tried everything that everyone told me. Did everyting I was supposed to do and my second son didn't sleep through the night until he was 4. He had allergies, acid reflux and a very small need for sleep. My kids sleep about 9 hours in a 24 hour period. If they took a nap, I had to deduct that from the night sleep. The Dr suggested putting them to bed earlier....you guessed it, they were up at 4am....for the day! Each child is different and they do things at different rates. Cry it out resulted in him being scared to death of his crib. He cried for 4 hours and never fell asleep.
Good luck!
If he checked out okay physically - get a coy of Babywise by Greg Ezzo. :)
My daughter started waking up several times a night at around 8 or 9 months after only waking once a night for a couple months. For us we found that if we went in there at all it made the whole process longer and more difficult. It seemed to just start the crying all over again rather than provide any actual comfort. Once we finally decided to let her brave this alone she cried a couple nights and then started sleeping GREAT! It was sooooo hard to listen to her knowing she was alone in her room but it turned out to be exactly what she needed!
