11Yr Old Son, Afraid of Even Hint of a T'storm,

Hi C.,

When I was younger, I was terrified of thunderstorms. I always thought a tornado would come and take away my family, my house, or just me! (Wizard of Oz complex)

One day while a storm was brewing and I was shaking and afraid, my mom and dad told me that these terrible storms don't last any longer than my favorite TV show. So they put it on and by the end of the 30 minutes, the storm was gone and I had survived.

Have you tried something like this to misdirect his attention during the storm?

Good luck!

M.

HI,
I was wondering, has your son always been afraid of storms or is this new? If it's new I think it's a place for him to put his fears, he has had a lot of changes recently.I know you said he's made the move well, but if the fears started after the move then he has found a place to put all the fears he has about the changes. Change always brings about feelings of loss, even if it's a good change.I'm sure you have seen the scale that talks about stress, I think #1 is loss of a spouse, but #2 or 3 is marriage a joyous time for most of us, also moving is right up there as far as stress. If the fear is long standing then I would talk with him about it.What is the most freightening? Does he think something will happen to him or the family or did he see to many pictures of Katrina? I would try to find out what is so scary and reassure as best you can, we will not have a hurricane etc.
Hope that helps. If not, you might try the school counselor when he goes back in the fall.
L.

When my oldest son was a little boy and afraid of the storms, I tried something that I saw, amazingly enough, in the movie Poltergeist. I had him count the seconds with me, out loud, after seeing a flash of lightening, until we heard the thunder. I told him when the time after the lightening increased before hearing the thunder, the storm was moving farther away. It only took that one storm for him to overcome his fear. He actually looked forward to them after that.

Does he have other anxieties? If its just thunder sounds like there's not much need for counseling, but maybe you could read about specific anxieties and work with him yourself. My son has anxieties and counseling got us through a hump and identified triggers. Once he began to understand his control over his feelings, all anxieties improved. I use breathing exercises and some relaxation scripts that I read to him. They're best used at night and then in a stressful situation, remind him of the techniques. We broke down and labeled the feelings and physical responses (not during an anxiety attack) so again he could understand what was happening to him so he could understand. Rapid heart beat, sweaty palms, urge to run, etc. One thing I learned in counseling was controlling my response. Saying "There's nothing to be afraid of" was really counter productive and made him feel like I thought he was wrong or foolish. I've started just saying, "You're really afraid. What are you afraid will happen", etc. validating him so he feels in control. His anxiety causes me anxiety and he can sense my fear, too. Good luck!