11 Week Old and Getting Him to FALL Asleep and STAY Asleep

Sounds to me that he's developed the habit of needing to suck in order to sleep. Sucking has become a crutch for him for being able to sleep restfully. Sounds like he is kinda startling himself awake when he realizes he's not sucking anymore. What I would do is work to change that habit, which means not nursing to fall asleep every time so that he is able to learn to sleep without sucking. What really helps with it is doing a pattern of eating right when he wakes up in the morning, then wake/play time, then nap (not nursing to nap, so a nap about 1.5 hours after he begins eating if he eats about every 3 hours and then when he eats about every four hours going down for a nap after 2 hours so he's napping the second half of the eating increment...that way he's not eating to be able to sleep and he's getting a good time chunk to sleep without waking up short because of hunger), then feed again when he wakes and do the pattern again throughout the rest of the day. The only time he goes to sleep just after eating would be bedtime and then that also helps to tell him it is time for the long night time rest as opposed to the shorter daytime nap. If you give this like a week, even within a few days, I'm sure he'll be sleeping a lot better. For that first week, you may need to wake him to eat so he doesn't mess up the other naps and wind up needing to eat when he's ready for a nap, but within a week, he will very likely be keeping himself to the routine, as it really helps them in a lot of ways, particularly with a healthy sleeping pattern. What I did approximately
6am - eat
7:30 - nap
9am - eat
10:30 - nap
12 - eat
1:30 - nap
3pm - eat
4:30 - nap
6pm - eat
7:30 - nap
9pm - eat and then bed for the night

Or if he eats about every four hours, something like this:
6am - eat
8am - nap
10 - eat
12 - nap
2pm - eat
4pm - nap
6pm - eat
8pm - nap
10pm - eat & then to bed

Then of course as they get older, you adjust it as he needs, but the routine really helps with great sleep without a crutch.
I also use white noise machines to block out noises that may startle them as well.
Best wishes to you!!

My son was a sucker and we started a pacifier with him at about 12 weeks. I completely understand what your going through.

Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? He has a method in there for getting babies who are suckers to hold on to the pacifier, which we used to teach our son to hold it. Once he starts sucking you need to pull it, pretty hard like your going to pull it out. He will suck it back in, do this three to four times every time you give him the paci, very quickly he will have gained the coordination and strength to hold it (its explained much better in the book).

I also agree with the other responder though about nursing to sleep. He is at the age where he needs to start learning how to put himself to sleep so he should be sort of awake when you put him down. This type of sleep training will help you in the future. My husband read Weissbluth, Healthy Sleep Habitats Happy Child with our first (I am about to read it for our second). It's good for helping get set in a routine and helping a child learn to sleep.

Good luck!

My 10 month old was (and still is) and big sucker. Thank God for the paci! I did use the Babywise technique of not nursing before nap or bedtime. I would start the day at 7am
7a-baby up and nursed
8a-down for nap
10a-baby up and nursed
11a-baby down for nap
1p- baby up and nursed
2p- baby down for nap
etc
It ended up I was nursing every 3 hours when he woke up that way he wasn't relying on my breast to fall asleep. I would also put him in the crib awake.
At 7pm is bedtime. Up until about 6-7 months old I would wake him up about 10p (or before I went to bed) to "top him off". He wouldn't wake up again until about 3-4am.
I hope this helps!

I know many will disagree with what I have to say, but these different things worked for me and I'd like to think I have some experience. Anyway-my first three kids would ONLY sleep on their stomachs..I knew the "rule" about back to sleep, but I needed to sleep and was willing to try anything. I have also put them in the carseat and would swing it back and forth til they fell asleep and then left them in it for the night and the swing works wonders. So now my youngest(2months)was doing the same thing as your son-she would be PASSED out, then the second I laid her down(on her back b/c she didnt like to be on her stomach)she would wake up. I finally asked her doctor and she told me to try to elevate her head-this worked and after a week of lowering her head daily she now is sleeping soundly through the night. She seems to be a sucker too, but will not take a pacifier. Sorry this is so long. Have you thought about supplementing some formula w/breastfeeding..the formula is thicker than breast milk and may be more satisfying...hope some of this rambling helps...good luck

he is hungry probably. Try some enfmil and mix it with your breastmilk or one teaspoon cereal. It helped me. My son was in the same situation. My mom told me even my milk was thick he got hungry very easly so I try it. Result was amazing.

Perhaps he's ready for some cereal? All babies are different and with nursing he may not be getting enough?!! I don't know if you've thought of this. He could have a large appetite! If he's falling asleep after the second nursing; this could be his problem. I am sure he's tired but if he's hungry.... he's not sleeping! Hence the sucking all the time. Try pumping and offer more after nursing. That's one way to find out. Or offer a tiny bit of cereal. My youngest started sleeping all night once she was weened. I truely believe she wasn't getting much from me towards the end there, but she's was much older than your peanut! good luck and hang in there!!!

H.

He's normal. he's only 11 weeks. He's almost still too young to sleep thru the night.And use the pacifier as much as you need. They can help prevent SIDS. You can read: Healthy sleep habits, happy child. try putting him to bed late, closer to 10. my 4 month old didn't lower her bed time till 3.5 months. SHe's finally at 7:30 and she's 5 months.She also just dropped her 2:00 feeding at 4 months.This may just be a hanging in there, time will help thing.
The only thing I found with my 3 kids is to not nurse them to sleep. Nurse them about 10 minutes before bed and then only use the pacifier at bed. It not only eases thing son you, but it will make it easier when someone else has to put them to bed.

He's not really old enough to sleep train yet, or to cry it out, so I would not suggest that for another few weeks. But you can try getting him to associate a different set of things with falling asleep than sucking. This might be a good time to give him a "lovie" to snuggle with. Try laying him down in his crib and putting your hand on his tummy and rubbing it and singing to him instead of nursing him to sleep. He needs to know that you're there for him, but that way you won't have to move him once he does fall asleep - you can just take your hand off him and walk away.

I agree - lose the pacifier if it's causing you problems (and if he can't get to sleep when he partially wakes in the middle of the night because the pacifier is gone, that's a problem). Nursing your baby is a great way to get them sleepy, but I would try and put him in his crib when he is awake, but drowsy, instead of asleep. I still nurse my 12-month old son before bed, but he goes down awake.

Another tip is to sing him a special song. Sing it to him ONLY when you're putting him to bed at night - no other time - and he will begin to associate hearing the song with sleeping for the night. Plus, it's so cute to see him smile when he hears the song.

This is normal. I found that it doesn't seem to get better until around the three-month mark, so you're getting close! However, a couple things I found helped - 1) If you haven't already, try heating the bassinette/crib before putting him down. I found that with both kids I could get them to stay asleep better if they transferred from my warm arms to a warm bed. I used a heating pad which I had heating up the bed and blankets so that when I transferred the baby it was into a warm little area. There was some moments of fussing, and it didn't ALWAYS work, but it seemed to work fairly often. My MIL gave me that tip - seems she used a hot water bottle to heat the beds for her babies!

2) - Elevate the head of the sleeping area some. There are wedges you can get for this, but I just folded some blankets and put them under the bassinette pad. Most cribs can be adjusted so that one end is higher than the other too. It does mean that the baby will often skooch to the lower end of the area by the time they wake up, but it really helps for babies with a little reflux or gas. They are often elevated like that in our arms too, so babies are used to the head being a little higher.

Lastly, if he seems hungry (and the sucking could be an indicator of that), I'd consider "topping him off" with a couple ounces of formula. Supplementing saved my ability to breastfeed my daughter, and she seemed to sleep SO much better at night with just a couple ounces to top her off. I was on decongestants and such that slowed my milk so it took a while before my body started compensating for that. I'd consider trying a little formula right around some of the points when you can potentially get the most sleep yourself, to see if he will transfer better and sleep a little longer at those times. You can slowly wean the formula back out as the two of you get adjusted to how much milk he needs.

Good luck!

It sounds like an exhausting schedule for you. I'd try to see if you can persuade him to try another self-soothing behavior, maybe sucking on a thumb or his hand.

There are so many variables that I'm sure you'll get as many answers as people you ask. I either had my kids right next to the bed or slept in a bed in their room when they were night-nursing. And I co-slept a lot when they were very young. That may not work for you, but I couldn't bear the idea of getting up and going to another room 4 or 5 times a night. And it's only for a few months. I also found that my babies woke up when they flung their limbs around in their sleep - they get disoriented because they're on their backs. We used swaddling for one of the babies (the other wouldn't tolerate it) and we LOVED our Ambi baby hammock, which we used with the second baby - he would basically rock himself back to sleep when he woke up.

One other thing to think about - if this is new behavior, could he be going through a growth spurt? They tend to suck a lot at night when they're increasing supply for a growth spurt, and I seem to remember 11 weeks being one of those times. Good luck! With both kids, the 4 month mark was a good one for sleep and at that point I found I could start to direct the process a little - when they're younger, you kind of have to follow their lead.

He probably isn't in a deep enough sleep when you lay him down. I nursed my son to sleep for many months and when he was that young I had to wait about 20-25 minutes till I put him down. It takes young babies longer to get to the deep sleep. He probably is in a light sleep when you lay him down and then realizes your not holding him and wakes. You could try the Dr. Sears method of waiting till your baby is done nursing, off the breast, open mouth, open fists, and arms out wide...all the signs of being a deep sleep then laying him down. Good luck!