My little 5.5 mos old is bfeeding and used to use a paci for falling asleep. Then we taught him to self soothe and we'd rock him to soothe him/ wind him down, then he could put himself to sleep once in his crib - sometimes he'd cry for up to 10mins but no big deal. But then he became overtired and we have finally fixed that. HOWEVER, now rocking will NOT soothe him/wind him down (he continues to cry/arch his back) and I have resorted to using the paci to calm him down, then I pop it out and place him in his crib. Sometimes he cries for up to 5 mins to blow off steam then is asleep. I'm worried about my new "trick" but I am doing the whole bedtime routine etc. but he can't wind down now without the paci. Oh, we are also dimming lights, bfeeding and have a white noise machine on. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!
PS. He is still up to feed 2x a night as per some of the answers who were wondering...
Babies come with different sucking needs...I think that he probably needs to suck right now. It really isn't a big deal if he needs a paci for a little while more. Because of the arching it sounds like he might be having some acid reflux or gas and sucking really helps with those symptoms. I think you are doing fine and you should just keep using it for a while.
You're trying too hard, and he is NOT self-soothing. He is paci-soothing, or rocking soothing, or crying-soothing.
He is old enough for you to stop trying to placate now. No more paci, no more rocking. Lay him down and walk out. Let him cry for 5 minutes, then walk in quietly, pat him on the back and then walk out. Wait 10 minutes. Repeat. Wait 15 minutes. Repeat.
Don't pick him up. Don't worry about the arched back. The only thing you are doing by coming in and patting him and walking out quickly is letting him know that you are still around.
If you are 100% consistent, he will start to self-soothe within a week. He will realize that you aren't going to pick him up, you aren't going to pop something in his mouth, and you aren't going to rock him. He'll finally start falling asleep on his own.
Let him have the gift of REAL self-soothing. Sometimes babies NEED to cry in order for them to soothe themselves. It is not your job to keep him from crying. It's your job to feed him, change him, dress him, love him, and let him learn to sleep.
Dawn
Why are you so against the paci? If sucking sooths him just let him have it for sleeping. I would bathe, jammies, nurse, rock, give him the paci, and lay him down drowsy. He is just a little guy and a lot of babies have that sucking need. I would also respond to his cries, he just wants to be near you and this time is going to fly by, its crazy fast, and you'll miss it!
Personally I think you are way overthinking all of this. He is 5 months old. Self sooth?...he just wants to be near you. He has a need to suck. he is going to grow up so fast. Maybe it's because my last baby is turning 4 but rock him a lot, let him have the pacifier.....and don't worry so much. This all seems like such a big deal when you're in it, but it's really not. They will learn to self soothe, but if he needs a pacifier while he is still an infant then let him have it. It will make everyone happier.
Why not just let him have the paci?
Not all babies become super duper attached to those things and have dramatic tales of what it took to get rid of it at 5 years old. My son gave his up on his own around 6 months old. Our daughter, she really liked hers, and kept it until he 2nd birthday. Then traded them ALL for some toys. Wasn't dramatic at all.
I was against paci's until my 3rd baby (now 10 months) and I needed sleep. She started sleeping through the night (she was also exclusively breastfed) at about 6 months when she could put the paci in by herself. She only uses it at naps and it's not in the whole time. And during the night, I hear her moving around and once she finds the paci she's back to sleep. I put her to bed awake, and she goes to sleep herself with her paci. My first baby didn't use anything . . . I thought I did it "right". My second one was a thumb sucker - so self soothed and I never needed to intervene. My third needs the paci and it's the right thing for her. Don't stress about it, sometimes we have to break out own rules for our sanity and a little sleep!! Good luck!!
He is crying and arching his back to me he needs to be burped that is a sign baby has some gas that needs to be helped with pats on the back a lil bounce in your steps walking the floor.Mine doesn't take a paci nor likes to be swaddled but just giving baby the receiving blanket to soothe her then take it away once baby is asleep is soothing.BTW a noise machine I hate them can't sleep when there is back ground noise it takes forever just with the fan on,try not using it for a few days.Baby just wants to be held enjoy this time you can't get it back
Waking 2 times a night is completely normal at this age. I wish I had not worried like you when my son was an infant. My advice to everyone is do whatever works. Most things will not become habits and if they do, so what? My son never developed a habit that was harder to break than the initial difficulty that I was trying to avoid! Just deal with it when the time comes.
He's not old enough to self soothe so you're doing the right thing by letting
him have his paci.
He might be arching his back due to gas. What about Mylicon
gas drops. I used those. They helped a lot.
When you breast feed & he falls asleep in your arms, try holding him for awhile (like 15 mins...no more...no less) then put him down in his crib.
The event of putting him way down in his crib (they can feel like they are
falling) wakes them. Up. I used to lean WAY DOWN into the crib while
trying to lay him down so he didn't feel like he was falling.
Once you put him down, rub his back soothingly for a minute.
Kids can make it through the night by three months old with a full enough belly, and this will help the bed time routine too. It takes as much eating as possible ALL DAY LONG for at least three consecutive days for the belly to feel fuller, and sometimes with babies who are just nursing-especially boys, it's just not possible to fill their belly enough for the full night's sleep. It may seem like he's full because he just ate, and he may have eaten normally all day, but cumulatively in general he's not all the way full if he's waking at night. Screaming and arching back tells me he could eat more for sure and is possibly having a growth spurt. That's why some people supplement formula (more filling) and introduce early solids if their household really needs sleep to survive.
Also however, some kids like to cry themselves to sleep a bit! (your baby sounds hungry to me though-and maybe dependent on rocking) My middle child (son) would ALWAYS cry for a few minutes. He was happy and stuffed to maximum capacity (not easy-hungry huge baby) and slept through the night, but he HAD to have a good cry every night for a few minutes after his routine. Once I walked in and checked on him and he stopped, gave me a dirty look for interrupting his cry, and resumed for a minute when I walked out, and then passed out :).
If you are a strict nurser, you may have to wait a bit for your supply to catch up or his need to die down, use the paci, etc for him not to struggle at night. But if you can possibly offer more feedings during the day, do so. It's really not so much about soothing as hunger in most cases. Kids can almost always adjust to falling asleep on their own if it's the "way it is" and a bit of crying doesn't hurt them.
If you can possibly fill his belly more for a few days, this will improve a lot. If not, don't sweat the paci, you CAN take it away at any point. Do what you guys need to for everyone to sleep.
Have you tried to nurse him?
Nurse him before bed, and during the night.
Know, a baby's hunger cues.
One thing, that needs to be noted is:
That a pacifier or rocking a young baby, does not.... "replace" the need for feedings, at night. A baby wakes, because ALSO they are hungry.
A baby, needs to be nursed at night too.
At 5.5 months old, baby is still very young. And a growth-spurt will make any baby, NEED to feed, for biological reasons... much more and more frequently and more often and just, more. Or it can be that baby is ALSO teething.
A hungry baby, will not soothe.
Nor will a pacifier soothe a hungry baby.
Or sometimes a baby gets gas, pains. Their digestive system is still, developing.
A baby needs to be nursed, on-demand. And often times, "cluster feeding" occurs, which is normal, and a baby will then need to feed even every single hour.
Does he nap during the day? Infants often nap, 2-3 times a day.
My kids as babies, nursed about every 2 hours, or less when hitting growth-spurts. And this was, day AND night. And they had, GINORMOUS appetites. Feedings on a "schedule" does not address, a baby's needs, thus feeding on-demand is recommended. Because, a baby's appetites, changes every day. It is not the same everyday.
Per our Pediatrician, for the 1st year, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is from breastmilk or Formula. Solids is not as nutritionally dense. And to feed on-demand. The first year is a building-block period, for development.
Why can't he have the pacifier. If he needs to suck and doesn't have it he will find his thumb someday. It's much easier for me to live with a pacifier than a thumb being sucked. The main reason is the pacifier is much cleaner.
I would stop the rocking. Just sit in the rocker. While the rocking motion can be soothing, kids can become dependent on it like a paci, thumb, or blanket.
Unless you have little ones that are trying to sleep at the same time, I think 5 mins to settle is pretty good.
He's so young. Really, it's ok if you need something like a paci in order for him to relax and go to sleep. Nursing, rocking, paci, back rubbing, singing, etc., are all great things to do. It's ok for a young child (I'm thinking 3 and under) to be "parented" to sleep.
I would definitely keep feeding him if/when he wakes in the middle of the night. It's so true that babies that age might genuinely need to eat.
No worries! Sounds like you're doing great.
