11 months...tantrums??

Did this just start? It does seem really early for tantrums. My daughter would have tantrums and act naughty when she was teething. That is how she reacted to pain and she got her 1st tooth around 11 months. You can't really discipline them with time outs for a few more months, but you can try ignoring the bahavior (leaving the room etc..) when it happens and see if that helps.

Learn to distract her. When you have to tell her "no," or if you have to take something away from her, swoop down on her and grab her, and swoop her up while you make a big deal of something else she can turn her attention to--- for example, if you want to take away a ball the dog likes to chew so she won't put it in her mouth: grab her and croon "oh, no no no no no balls for you, Tinkerbell"(swing her around, give her lots of big kisses, and keep talking nonstop) "look, hey, look, look, there's a big ol' kitty on our lawn, look at the kitty, honey, what does that kitty say?" (When she is thoroughly distracted, grab the ball quietly and sneak it away from her.) If you get to be good at distraction, you will find you have a lot less wailing and tears!

Yes, the "terrible twos" can start very early for some kids! My older daughter started having tantrums at that age. She has always known exactly what she wanted! The issue for her, and I think most kids that age who have tantrums, is that they're very smart. Smart enough to see and want all kinds of things, and their little bodies just aren't coordinated enough to do all the things they see adults doing. Then they have the added frustration of not being able to communicate all that well. It all builds up and results in a monster tantrum over some seemingly small issue.

In my opinion, if your child has reached the point of a tantrum, in all likelihood she just needs a few minutes to get it out of her system. There is nothing you can do to fix the frustration she is feeling (except to try to set up her life so you don't have to say "no" constantly) - what will ultimately resolve the tantrums is getting older, more capable, and better able to communicate, which happens around age 3 (sorry, I know that sounds like a long ways off!). What I used to do when my girls would get into a big tantrum was to tell them, "I can tell you're frustrated right now. We'll play again when you're feeling better." And then leave the room (or if that upsets her, stay in the room, but do something else - read the paper, fold laundry, whatever, but don't fixate on her). Chances are if she can have a few minutes just to get the mad out of her system and calm down a little, she will feel a lot better. Punishment of any kind will not work because she's not really doing anything wrong, she's just frustrated. That being said, she does need to know that SHE has the power to make herself feel better - giving her a minute or two to get hold of herself will help and will give her a strategy she will be able to use as she gets older. My younger daughter is now 4.5, and when she gets screamingly frustrated, she will announce, "I'm going to my room to be alone!" - and then 5 minutes later she'll come back out and announce, "I feel better now!" - so it does actually work! =)

Tantrums happen when children lack the abilty to express themselves verbally so her tantrum is totally normal...you said she doesn't speak. I have found that if you explain the 'why' behind your no (because you will get cut...you will get burned, etc) children are better able to cope with not getting what they want. Also, because your daughter does not have verbal skills, it is helpful to show her what you mean (say ouch, pretend to cry, etc). She can equate that with what it means to her.

Try the "Happiest Toddler on the Block". She just doesn't understand her emotions yet and what's going on, it is most likely a phase, but how you deal with it now will make a huge difference and set the stage for future behavior, etc.

No pressure ;) Just stay consistent and patient. You can maybe start with saying "I'm sorry you are mad/sad that I took ____ away, but it is not safe," this way she will begin to understand the why. It's always good to then give her something that is ok to play with so she can start to put that together and you are sort of redirecting her. If that doesn't work than you can start to leave the room while she acts out and she'll begin to put together that it is not ok and does not get a reaction out of Mom.

Redirecting at this age is the one of the better options since they can't grasp their feelings and consequences fully.

I agree with Senya. Don't overreact to it. Just do what Senya says. Senya has some of the best advice I've ever read on this site. Her approach to children is lighthearted and humorous and kind, and will definitely raise healthy children.

I think it's healthy when a kid, especially a girl, is feisty and not afraid to use her voice. It will come in handy when she's older. She won't be like me and do and say nothing while her mother's male friend sticks his hand down her pants. She'll say, "get the f*@k out of here, Wayne you pervert!" And then she'll tell her (hopefully supportive) parents about the pervert and call the cops. That's what a 13 year-old girl can do when she's been raised with a voice.

C.,

I agree with Stephanie- Read the Happiest Toddler on the Block. My now 14 month old started with the "tantrums" at about the same age as your daughter- the tips in this book have helped- it is mostly about advise on communicating with your child during a time when they are not in a postition to listen. Working on Baby sign lang has also helped with my daughter, as it is giving her a way to "tell" me what she wants. When all else fails- I make sure she is safe (not in a place she can hurt herself) and walk away from her and ignore her- It has really worked! One day she followed her father and I around the kitchen- would throw herself at our feet and start screaming- we just kept talking like she was not there and moved away- she would follow and start over- after about 5 minutes of not getting a reaction from us- she picked herself up- picked up her doll and went off to play- her father and I then quickly engaged her in her play- She has never tried that tantrum again....

Hi C.,

I am really shocked at how many moms have been posting this question lately. None of my kids ever did this, and 10, 15 yrs ago, this just wasn't as common as it seems to be now.

I know that passive parenting helps to grow this kind of behavior in somewhat older kids, but...I have to wonder if this rise in aggression in young babies isn't a mineral deficiency , infection, or hormonal imbalance of some kind.

I have been studying medical illness and the effects of minerals for over 10 years. Most doctors won't tell you that agression can be caused by a vit B1 deficiency. There are b complex liquid drops that can be applied under the tounge (for better absorption)and should be given daily, before 1pm (so they don't affect sleep). Try that and see if it helps. It sure can't hurt. B vitamins work by helping the nervous system. B can be depleted by antibiotics, high sugar/carb consumption, chlorine, illness including bacterial infections in the gut, etc.

On another thought, Serotonin. It is a hormone produced in the intestines. In the central nervous system, serotonin plays an important part in the modulation of anger and agression, mood, sleep, appetite, pain, and metabolism.

80-90% of a person's serotonin is located in the enterochromaffin cells in the gut. There are gut parasites that can reduce serotonin - blastocycstosis (waterborne) is just one. Probably some of the common intestinal worms, which 'possibly' can be picked up from crawling on the floor or around dogs and cats might be another. Bacterias can affect serotonin as well. Possibly a stomach bug picked up in past months could have introduced a nasty infection that is still within the gut of the child although the vomiting/diarreah is gone. (I'm not saying any of these ARE the issue, I'm saying different possible reasons for a new bazzar behavior should extensively be explored). Something is affecting her central nervous system. Nothing happens in a vaccum.

I understand that magnesium deficiency can affect serotonin
Levels and also cause symptoms like bipolar, ADD, compulsion, irritability, hyperexcitability, inattention, and more. Griffonia can help a serotonin deficiency and so can taking cod liver oil. ( I dont know the safety of griffonia but cod liver oil should be no problem for a child.)

Doctors seem to be way too quick in my opinion to nonchalantly prescribe kids on serotonin affecting drugs like prozac, zoloft, luvox, paxil, etc.. for SYMPTOMS like Attention deficit, bipolar, depression, agression, and confusion. These should be labeled 'symptoms' of infection and disease, rather than the diagnosis. usually no testing for imbalances, infections, or parasites is ever done!!! They prescribe drugs to increase the serotonin levels (which may remove some of the symptoms) but not the real problem under the surface.

I really do believe that the corrupted food and water sources, depleted/processed foods and deydration highly contribute to the rise in sickness we see around us. A healthy fed and watered body ( just like a well watered plant) just isn't as susceptible to disease and invaders like a weakened one- one that desperately needs more vitamins, minerals and water than it gets. Even our "healthy " foods are injected, irradiated, killed (milk) and infected with bacterias.

There has been a mass movement to label Physical illness symptoms as a MENTAL ILLNESS. What a farce that has been played on the public. And how would the public know any better unless they studied medicine and how illness affects the body?

You can try vit b, and try cod liver oil (kirkland/costco brand is mercury free). Cod liver oil is known as a mood enhancer because of the vit D and has amino acids that raise serotonin. You can increase magnesium by putting a cup or two of epsom salts in her bath before bedtime...soothing.It should help induce sleep too! Start with a couple times a week. Or increase brocoli, oatmeal(not instant) salmon, and boiled spinach to get more magnesium.
Of course check with a good physician before taking any of these treatments.

Blessings and good health to yours,

Gail

C., you're describing my son to a T! He didn't even start crawling until 13 mos...his "I want that" tantrums were getting hot and heavy at 11 mos and though he still has them at 15 mos they're not as frequent and he's easier to distract out of them.

Before his tantrums he was very "easy"...so don't fear. It's normal! Distraction is the key. Get another toy, another location, etc. into the scene when she goes off. Don't let her hurt herself. For a long time I had to scoop him up and hold him really tight when he was really losing it, or nurse her, if you still do that.