11 Month Old Not Sleeping at Night and Can't Wean!

Hi C.,
I am having the same problem but with my 13 month old girl. If you get any good suggestions please send them my way. Thanks a bunch. I am getting very exhausted with this process.
Thanks,
G.

We have some great advice out there!
My guy was not a good sleeper (now age 3) so I know you're tired and with working too, can probably hardly think.
I lived by the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I nursed until after he was a year old, but I never nursed in bed.
1. think about a routine where you nurse just before she's in bed, and give water in bed.
2. Is she getting enough food in her tummy? Need a bedtime feeding of cereal?
3. Think about taking a weekend (Fri & Sat. night) when you know she's not sick and working for the schedule you want. If you want her to stay in her bed, you'll have to extinguish the mid-night nursing.
This will mean some extra work to go to her bed, give water, rub back, perhaps pick up briefly and put her back. When she finds out it not worth waking up, she will go back to sleep.
4. If you think she's really in distress about something ask your Ped.Dr. Otherwise, keep working it, like The Nanny show, keep putting them back in bed with minimal interaction.
Good luck - some children are hard to work with their sleep patterns - I feel for you!

Many 11 month olds wake at night and leave their parents exhausted. This seems to get worse around one year and then gradually improves. The moms of one year olds are generally exhausted. I work with breastfeeding moms but I've heard the same complaints from moms who feed formula in bottles. Sleep schedules seem to change whenever something new is happening in the child's life. Around a year, many babies are learning to walk and that is so exciting that they need to process that new activity. Also, independence is a process. A child may be very independent at times and then need extra time with parents to make up for their courage. And then throw in teething.

You can nurse a child only at night for as long as you both want. When a child is using teeth on the breast though, he or she is not nursing. To suck effectively, the teeth are not involved. It's similar to drinking from a soda bottle - it would be hard to suck and swallow holding it with your teeth. When your child bites or holds your nipple using teeth, she is finished nursing and is playing or comforting herself or just seeing what you will do next. You can quietly tell her to nurse nicely or be done. Break the suction, tell her why, and then go back to sleep. She will understand. It's good to teach our kids to be kind to us.

An effective way to wean a child over one year of age is to "not offer and not refuse" breastfeeding. This is harder than it sounds because you will not be able to nurse through the ups and downs of the baby's day - particularly at naptime and bedtime and falls, unless the child asks to nurse which they learn not to when they don't want to fall asleep. Not refusing is part of the weaning process because weaning is easier on you and your child when it is not a power struggle. The child will wean completely when ready.

As for sleeping soundly through the night, some children come to understand that mom is happy to see them at night but won't play while it is dark. Some nursing moms say, "nurse for three sucks" and then mom needs to sleep. Whether or not you work hard to get the baby back to her own bed is a choice. I preferred to let the little one stay but that was easiest for me and I could sleep fine that way.

Good luck. Believe it or not but these days pass so quickly and the cute little one will grow up. I'm still up at night putting teenagers with too much homework to bed or waiting up for them to come home safely.

Nursing is not only for nutrition, there is an emotional need too. Even though she is also taking whole milk, she still needs Mom, but also benefits greatly from the antibodies and nutritional value of your milk.

I suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution, she has a great section on trying to get baby to bed awake but drowsy so they are no longer dependent on nursing to sleep or nursing back to sleep after waking.

I'd like to say, too, that this is not a forever thing. You may only be doing this a few more months. In the grand scheme of things, meeting her emotional needs for a few months is really not a long time. When she wakes at night, you have something that comforts her right now.

Only 50% of babies 'sleep through the night' before age 1. Many scientists and pediatricians believe it is due to the maturity of the nervous system, and that is different for each child.

I had one sleep through the night at 3 moths, one slept through at 14 months, and this last one slept through at like 6 or 7 months.

Changing positions can help with the teeth, unless she is biting, then you end the nursing session.

I think she is hungry. Babies with full bellies will sleep through the night. We were feeding our son regular soy milk, but it was too thin, not satisfying, so he kept waking up during the night. Once we went back to formula, he went back to sleeping. Something heavier for her night time bottle, perhaps would work?

Hi C. - It sounds like your daughter is nursing at night because she wants to be close to you and cuddled at night. Try nursing her before you put her to bed and giving her a bottle when she wakes up during the night - don't put her in your bed. It may take a while - but with consistency she should "connect the dots." Babies are smarter than we think. Give her lots of attention before going to work in the morning and be sure to make over her for sleeping in her bed.

Good Luck - B.

My daughter is also 11 months and isn't sleeping through the night. But I only feed her once around 4 am and it's in her room, not mine. If she gets up before then, I'll check on her, but I don't feed her before around that time.

I know that because you are working AND also have a toddler on top of your baby girl, you have a lot on your plate, so doing the path of least resistance (nursing her in your bed) seems like the best way to do it because you don't lose as much sleep. But if you think of it as--you're losing sleep anyway in this pattern, but if you work to change the pattern--and it may be hard for a week or so--in the long run you'll get more sleep because she'll learn how to put herself back to sleep without eating. In the long run, you'll think "why didn't I do this earlier?" When my daughter was 5 months old she was a HORRIBLE sleeper. Up every hour. I was also doing the path of least resistance, but once we did a little bit of sleep training (Ferber-based) she slept much better and was a MUCH HAPPIER baby once she was getting longer periods of sleep. And needless to say, we were happier, too!

I'm not a fan of crying it out where you don't check on your child, but I do think that letting them settle themselves is important. She is not going to be hurt or become emotionally detached if you let her cry at night, as long as you come in and check on her periodically and assure her verbally that you love her, you're in the next room, etc. Kiss her on her head, but don't pick her up. When I do this with my daughter, she usually gets realllly mad right away, but will settle faster than if I let her cry longer and she thinks I'm not coming in. By now, I know that if she doesn't go back to sleep after 2 checks (spaced 5 minutes apart), then something else is wrong (teething, diaper, etc).

By the way, my daughter has 5 teeth and I don't feel them when she nurses. Every so often (once a month?) if she's exhausted, she'll accidentally bite down, but I'll pull my nipple out quickly and say "ouch!" loudly and she rarely rarely does it. Don't let her chew on you! Nursing should not hurt, even with teeth.

Good luck!

Have you tried water when she wakes up? My guess is she isn't hungry but wants comfort or is having teething pain. Teething is tough and does interfere with sleep. If she is used to you coming in and nursing her to get back to sleep, she will continue to try to use this comfort measure. When she wakes up, give her some tylenol or ibuprofen for the teeth and hand her a bottle or sippy cup of water and then leave. It will take a few nights, but she will eventually figure out that it is not time to nurse and it isn't worth waking up for water. Good luck.

I give you a lot of credit for getting up with her. Are you opposed to letting her cry it out? While I agree that not all 11 month old babies sleep through the night, it seems quite unnecessary for her to be waking so many times. I would understand you not wanting her to cry, but it might be your only solution.

Hello C.,
I am P. and I am a mom of a 12 month old little boy.
I had the same problem and what I did to solve it was stop nursing gradually first. I Make sure that my son eats regural meals in scheduel and dinner is very important in this process. If your baby eats good during the day and dinner she doesn´t need to eat during the night. The first thing that I did was giving him watter instead nursing, sometimes they will cry ´cause they want to nurse, so I rocked him until he was calm and sleep again. This process took me a couple weeks and then he was fine with watter but he was still calling me. I was so refusing to let him cry out until one night that he woke up 19 times, we couldn´t go like that anymore either of us and I realise that I had to teach my son how to fall sleep by his self and that night time is for sleep until the morning. I let him cry, the first night he cryied for 54 min and fall sleep until the morning. The first nap he cryed 20 min and the second 15 and the next night 5 min. Since then he is being sleeping throught the night from 8.00 to 7.00 almost without waking up.
Some times he wakes up, I give him watter and then he sleep by his self or cry a little bit and then fall sleep. He wakes up happy and rested and me too.
Anyway tis is my case and my experience , always remember that you are the mom and whatever you decide for you and your daughter is going to be the best, allways follow your instinc and whatever decition you make stick with it and make it worth.
Good luck
P.

Try thickening her night bottle with Rice or Oatmeal cereal. There is a good chance she is only waking becuase she is hungry.We have found that our son sleeps through the night when he has a good dinner and a thicker night bottle.

For me, it was my milk drying up that did the trick. When he realized it did him no good to nurse at night he stopped waking up at night, and when he does, he fusses for a few minutes and then is back to sleep. I would also try formula instead of milk. It has more nutrients, and perhaps if she was getting that she would be more satisfied at night. Good luck.

Hi there,
Just out of curiosity, why do you feel like it's time for her to wean? That's up to you, of course, I'm just wondering.

Also, a lot of 11 month olds don't sleep through the night. It's not really anything to worry about, it's just each child's schedule, and they're all different. We try to get them to go by our own schedule, but it rarely works.

Good luck!

Hi C., I don't really know how to help you. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. My 13 month old still doesn't sleep through the night, although with consistency I've managed to get him to fall asleep in his crib instead of while nursing and I sometimes manage to get him to go back to sleep in his crib without being picked up by sitting outside his door facing away from him and reading. As long as he can see me, he seems to be alright, if not, then he comes into bed with us. Some babies just aren't deep sleepers. My first one was and my little one now isn't. It's just one of those things that you can chalk up to each child's particular quirks.

I do agree with C. that her daughter should be sleeping through the night at this age. or at least only waking once - waking lots of times interferes with her sleep patterns and development. Having a child wake in the night for more than the first couple months can be exhausting for the whole family. By and Large a childs schedule can be slowly adapted to meet the need of the family, and at this age sleep consolidation is what the baby needs too.

Solutions: At night I would start offering water in a bottle (or keep a cooler by her bed with formula or pumped milk while you transition to water). She is most likely craving the closeness of being taken into your bed and you really don't want that to become more of a habit. Start by cradling her and giving her a bottle instead of nursing. Then give your child the "drink of your choice" in a bottle in the crib without letting her get out. Rub her back and sooth her, but leave before she is back to sleep. Slowly make it all business and less attractive until she stops waking or would go back to sleep on her own if you let her fuss for less than 10 minutes. Pretty quickly we were able to distinguish between crying that needed attention and night time fussing that mean that the kids were awake but would go back to sleep if we just ignored them for a couple of minutes. Now the only crying after 10 pm is when they really do need us.

I had the same issue with my third--completely different from my first two. I just kept nursing him at naptime and during the night so that my husband and I could get some rest. I was always too tired to get up and rock him to sleep or find some other way to get him back to sleep, so I just rolled over and nursed him. He'd fall back to sleep immediately. Of course, that meant he was sleeping with us most of the time. That continued until he was just over two yrs and I had surgery so I had to stop nursing. He had no problem weaning. But he _still_ (at 2.5yrs) wakes most nights, climbs out of his bed, and comes into ours. I think that some kids just don't sleep as well as others and some also need more physical contact with their mommies. Maybe your daughter is making up for the time during the day that she's not with you.
I think it's great that your working full time and still nursing her!! Good luck to you!
PS. You may both need a little adjustment at first, but teeth shouldn't interfere with nursing:-)

Hi C.,

Good for your for nursing your little one, it's the best thing you can be doing for her!! I am still nursing my dd who is 28 months and I totally feel your lack of sleep and broken sleep pain!! :) Sorry to say but it's considered normal for a baby to nurse in the night until they are 2 and sometimes even after that. Some good sources of info are www.llli.org, www.mothering.com, www.askdrsears.com and www.kellymom.com.

Good luck and try to not to worry, S.

My now 6 year old did the same thing at one point. I realized that she was so busy during the day that she wasn't eating or drinking enough. I paid more attention to her fluid intake and eating habits to make sure we changed that pattern. You may also have to get your husband to start getting up with her at night. I have always been the worst at not nursing my babies at night in order to get them back to sleep. It is just so easy to put them in the bed with you!!! She may just be looking for that time with you more than anything. Good luck!