my daughter will not go to bed until 2 am some nights, but never before midnight. I've tried cutting down her naps, and evening letting her cry for up to 45 minuets - checking in to let her know she is not alone. I am at my wits end, any advice?
I have a bed side musical device (baby Einstein) and she id going on 11 months.
it is different everyday, but she always sleeps 9 hours exactly, takes a 1 1/2 hour nap after being awake for 3 hours and a 2 hour nap around 3 pm
I reposted this with more detailed ifo, so you all can tell me what I am doing wrong
At 11 mos old, she probably only needs 1 nap. Try cutting out the morning nap and moving the afternoon nap earlier- to around 12 or 1. Then, have an earlier bedtime- around 7 or so. It sounds like she has gotten into a strange pattern with sleeping, and it will just take a week or so to iron out a new schedule. Good luck.
I would try an early bedtime, like around 7:30 pm, when she's not wound up (kids can give themselves a second wind later in the evening, so try before then). With CIO, it's really best not to go back in the room. Have a happy bedtime, say goodnight and that's it. If she cries two hours, so be it, but she needs to be trained to go to sleep on her own at a decent hour. It's hard to do this at first, but you should see results within days. Once she's on a normal bedtime, her naps will be earlier and that will help a whole lot in getting her to bed at a normal hour.
Good luck!
I like Amy's answer below...my 8 month old doesn't have a regular bed time but we have a concrete routine so she knows it is time for bed whatever time it is. She also isn't a regular napper, so this has helped get her down during the day at convenient times.
My only suggestion for making bed time earlier is if you know she sleep 9 hours exactly at night start waking her up earlier and maybe naturally bedtime will get earlier and earlier. If you wake her up 7am lets say that cuts out a decent chunk of sleep time, and by not letting her take extra long naps to make up for it she will be tired earlier in the evening and you can catch it and get her to sleep. She is still young enough that she should be pretty trainable.
Good luck!
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No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. Amazing book that works!
Hi Bri,
My son is 16 months old and we struggled with bedtime. Some nights he would go to bed at midnight and still wake up at 3 am crying and wanting to get up.
What worked for us was an absolutely concrete bedtime routine. And I mean *concrete*. Absolutely no variation whatsoever. Every night at 7:45 he takes a warm bath. In the bath we brush his teeth and have a fun time playing quietly. After his bath we put on his diaper and pj's, and I pick him up to tell his daddy goodnight and give kisses. Then we walk throughout the house waving night night" to things he recognizes. We tell everything goodnight, then I pick out two books. We go to his room, turn off the light and leave the hall light on, read his first book, kiss it goodnight, read his second book and kiss that one goodnight - then Mama gets goodnight kisses and I rock him to sleep. He has a "sleepy song" I sing to him, and then I lay him down.
I know thats super detailed - but I'm telling ya - it works! He cried a lot at first and it was really hard not to give in (we were breaking him of two habits - staying up too late AND taking a bottle before bed) ....but now its wonderful.
We do this at naptime and at bedtime. Anytime he is going to sleep, we use that routine. He has it memorized and it gives him a lot of security. He doesn't like it, and does protest a bit still (saying "No night nights" or "No this" meaning 'No books'...) BUT the wailing, screaming and staying up at all hours is over!
I will say this though, if crying it out becomes the norm, you definitely need to be present after 10 minutes or so. No matter what, I will go into his room and rock him for a few minutes to calm him before laying him back down. No talking, no lights, and no leaving the room - but definitely a moment or two of calm and solace. A temper tantrum will easily turn into panic for a child this young as they don't remember things well and eventually, what started out as Mommy saying good night turns into 'I'm stuck in a dark room and no one is coming, where is my mom?" ....Jo Frost has a great method for dealing with this. Thats where I got the basis for our new routine.
Good luck!
woah she's going to bed waaay too late. at that age, she needs a solid 11 hrs of sleep per night and probably needs to be asleep by 7pm or so. i keep reading that with babies, the later they stay up, the shorter their sleeptime at night and the harder it is for them to go to sleep and take naps. plus if you cut out naps, she'll be even more tired and will actually stay up later at night and not sleep well enough. weird right? so counterintuitive as it may be, you need to put her to bed earlier. plus a routine helps. good luck!
I think you have already gotten a lot of good advice from the ladies on here. I just want to point out two things. First, at 11 months, a child's sleep habits are not necessarily going to be set in stone. But as the other moms have said, it is up to you to set the stage for sleep by having a predictable routine.
Second, you may want to evaluate your own routine to see how much that is contributing to your daughter's. Do you also tend to stay up late and wake up late? (For instance, do you work second shift, making your own routine later?). When we had our first, I had just stopped working third shift and my husband still worked third shift. As a result, we both went to bed rather late and didn't get up till much later than most people. It definitely had an impact on our son, who to this day has some trouble going to sleep at an earlier time. Having said that, now that our own schedule has adjusted to fit my husband's 8-5 job and my schedule of getting kids to school by 8, all of our kids sleep according to that schedule (even though they do at times resist). Especially if you are working, going to school, etc., it may not be possible at this time to alter your own schedule, but if you are able to make changes to "shut down the house" at an earlier time of the day, it may help set the tone for a decent bedtime and sleep-geared atmosphere.
My kids were never big sleepers. They never slept 11 hours a night. They did then and do now sleep 10 hours...you pick them. If they slept during the day, you had to cut it off what they would sleep at night. The pediatrician told me to put them to bed earlier....we were up at 4am. The ped had to agree that they just didn't need that much sleep and to find something that would work for me. The get in beg at 9:30 and fall asleep when they fall asleep. They're up in the morning between 7 and 8.
Good luck!!
I'm a big believer in a bedtime routine. It may take your child a longtime to unwind before bed. A routine will help her transition from playtime to bedtime. I think this routine varies between children. I saw a routine with bath books rocking singing etc... Your child may need a similar routine. It may not be an easy fix but not every child lays in the crib, sticks a finger in his/her mouth and goes to sleep. I've had both types. The higher needs child is a great sleeper. It just took more work to get her to sleep.
Updated
I'm a big believer in a bedtime routine. It may take your child a longtime to unwind before bed. A routine will help her transition from playtime to bedtime. I think this routine varies between children. I saw a routine with bath books rocking singing etc... Your child may need a similar routine. It may not be an easy fix but not every child lays in the crib, sticks a finger in his/her mouth and goes to sleep. I've had both types. The higher needs child is a great sleeper. It just took more work to get her to sleep.
