Not Enough Sleep?

Yep, it sounds like she isn't getting enough sleep. My 3.5 year old becomes much less pleasant when he hasn't had enough sleep! Move the bedtime back slowly, by 15 min a night. My 3.5 year old used to go to sleep at 8:45 but I have moved him back to 7:30 or 7:45 and I see a vast improvement. Good luck!

my 3 and half year old is usually asleep by 9 or 9:30 and sleeps until 8:30am on most days. Some days he sleeps later and some days he might get up early if his dad accidently wakes him up. I really try to get him to bed by 8:30 but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. I'm thinking 10:00 is kind of late because it does take a little while to actually fall asleep.

My older son will be 4 in two weeks and he usually falls asleep by 12:15 or 12:30 a.m. (we start putting him down between 11:45 and 12:15). He is usually up by 11:30 most days but might wake up a little earlier (he hangs out in bed reading so we're not positive when he wakes up). I'm okay with him not napping since he is still getting at least 11 hours and if he naps, he won't fall asleep until much later. I noticed that when he is sleep-deprived or seems to be going through a growth spurt he is miserable and we add a short nap or move his bedtime a little earlier. (We are on a late-to-bed schedule because my husband works until 11 and has them during the day and he likes to see them at night.) I actually recently realized that both of my boys were a bit sleep-deprived, but they seem to wake up at the same time so we moved their bedtime a little earlier and adjusted our routines.

I would say that the 10-12 hours for a 4 year old is probably the norm for "most" preschoolers. I do believe that most children are happiest when they are rested.

My daughter is almost 4 and NEEDS her rest. She can be very challenging if she loses even an hour of sleep. I would encourage you to be firm on bedtime. Start your ritual earlier. I don't mean crazy early, but earlier than 9 p.m.

Try starting at a reasonable time, like 8 p.m. This may take some time for her to get used to, but don't be discouraged if she fights you initially. Kids need to see that you are in control, not them. It may also take her an hour or so to wind down. Not every child can "turn off" their brain quickly. But, to encourage restfulness, don't do playful activities right before bed. Encourage quiet activities like books or puzzles.

Set up a consistent (that is the key here) routine and do it EVERY night. Don't give her the choice to stay up and play. Bedtime should be non-negotiable. It is necessary for her health and well-being (as well as yours!).

Consider letting your husband be the one who helps put her to bed. This is still time well spent, and very special to young children. I know that when my husband puts our kids to bed, its a big deal to them (because its only once in a while as he works most nights on the off-shift).

Good luck to you!
Nap time often goes away at an early age. My daughter stopped right around 3. However, I regularly enforce quiet times (at least an hour) to give her a chance to wind down and rest. If nothing else, they can play quietly in their beds, look at books, color...whatever, just as long as its quiet.

My now 5 yr old has a bedtime of 8:00 andmy 9yr old goes to bed at 9:00. Also when my girls were 4 we still had a nap time time of at least an hour long. I agree with the others that putting her to bed earlier will make a huge difference.

I think my 4 year old gets about 10 or 11 hours. Sleep is so critical to a growing child. You are wise to research this and start earlier bed times. Good luck! Everyone will be much happier!

I haven't read all your responses yet but I will share this, I have three boys, they are ages 5, 9, 10. up until this year they all have gone to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 and have woke up at 6:45 (during the school year) since the oldest started school, and just this year I've allowed the 10yo to stay up reading in his room till 9:00. during the summers they can stay up till 9:00-9:30 at the latest, (other than special occasions) Sleep is so important and you will have to be patient teaching your daughter to get the sleep that she needs, as she is not used to sleeping 10-11 hours, but she probably needs it. in my experience having a set schedule for your kids sleep patterns is crucial, the need to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day regardless of school, it helps them sleep better.

I do understand about having an unusual work schedule, as a parent I used to work a night shift, but I realized that I had to make adjustments to benefit my child, even though it was very difficult for me. try to have your husband spend time with her when he is home, but dont have her wait up for him if he cant be there, in the long run she needs her sleep now, just as much as she needs Daddy time. maybe a phone call/video chat can fill the gap when he is unable to get home before 7:30 and if he does he can do the bed time routine with her and tuck her in. then make sure they have lots of Daddy time on the weekends. My Dad was a pilot and he wasn't there every day but he was there a lot and when he was there he was good to spend time with me when he could, and that is what she will remember, not that she got to see him every day or not... hope that makes sense

My 3 almost 4 year old is asleep by 8:00 (usually in her room by 7:30) and generally sleeps until 6:30 or 7:00 the next morning...so yes she is getting 10-11 hours. She stopped napping about a year ago but if we are driving around she may fall asleep. My older kids, who are almost 7 have the same bedtime and sleep the same.

my almost 4yo goes to bed between 8 - 830 and wakes up at 6:30. he takes about a 1.5 - 2 hour nap also. I am not opposed to the occassional drive-to-sleep method when I see his is trying to fight it by playing, coloring, etc. That is typically just on Saturdays because we go,go,go and he is over stimulated.
I think you have a good plan of starting to adjust her sleeping patterns to be earlier to bed, but I would go ahead and keep inching it earlier a little each week. Now is the perfect time, too, since it gets dark so early.
Good luck.

My kids are a few years older but I always even at 4 tried to shoot for lights out by 7:30/8 pm and of course they would wake up at the crack of dawn but they were doing that anyways and would have been very grumpy all day. if your kid is going to bed that late what time are you going to bed?? I shoot for 10:30/11 and let me tell you-I loved those couple of hours when they were asleep!!

Sounds like you definately figured out your problem & how to fix it. Suggestion for you would be to move her bedtime to 8:30 on school nights & 9 on the other nights so she & daddy still get their time but she is getting the additional rest she needs. My children are 6 & 10, bedtime is 8, but they have to be up @ 6:30 next am.

I wish I had the time to get that much sleep at night!!!!!!!! :)

Yes... kids get TONS fussier and obnoxious... if they are tired or over-tired or over-spent. My kids do.
It is common.... in kids of all ages.

My kids, get 10-11 hours of sleep a night.
AND then, my 4 year old son, naps everyday... for about 2-3 hours. He's napping now in fact.
And he still sleeps just fine at night.
My 8 year old daughter... will nap... at times... if tired...

Sleep "deprivation".... affects... a host of body/health/mental well-being issues. It is researched and documented. It even... results in weight-gain as well.... and certain diseases.
So yes... sleep deprivation... does affect kids too. They are not immune... to it, nor can they always be in a good 'mood'... if getting lack of sleep.
And in certain professions (pilots, Doctors etc.), lack of sleep/sleep deprivation... is dangerous. It affects cognition as well... in children or adults.

Your daughter... is going to bed WAY too late, at night....

all the best,
Susan

Yes, kids need that much sleep. Most 4 year-old are probably to bed closer to 8:00, or even earlier depending on what time they need to get up. My 8 year-old sleeps about 10 hours a night and sometimes longer.

I scanned a few of the responses you have so I am sorry for repeating but 10 o'clock bedtime for a 4 year old is a bit late and her bedtime should definitely be moved earlier. Here are some sleeping tips that you could check out in case she doesn't respond well to the earlier bedtime:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

Here is my 4 year old daughter's sleep schedule:

Goes to bed at 8pm/8:30 at the latest (rare/specail occassion 10pm)
Wakes up around 6:30/7am (so that is 10 1/2-11 hours)
Naps or Quiet Time from 2-4pm (seems every other day she falls asleep)

If we skip the nap/quiet time HORRIBLE attitude later that night so earier bed time then and the next day since we did not stick to the schedule the previous day has a bad attitude for me all day. NOW when around other or away from home she acts better but I can tell she tired/missed out on sleep.

With your family's situation with daddy not getting home till 7:30/8pm it is going to be different for your child's sleep schedule. Maybe say on school nights HAVE to be in bed at a decent time maybe 8pm even if all daddy gets to do is say goodnight. Either that or start nap/quiet time, make it a must and have it the same time every day for at least an hour maybe two. If it is going to make her happier and in the end an easier day on you it is worth changing the sleep schedule.

Maybe the rule is start getting ready for bed at 7:30pm, 8pm story time, and then 8:30 bedtime. Have daddy do whatever needs to be done if he is home at that time so they get the bonding time otherwise you start it and if daddy is home just to say goodnight so be it. I would rather have a well tempered child who is well rested then keepin the child up just to see daddy. If there is a day that daddy does not work make some good qaulity time in that day just daddy/daughter time.

Some kids no matter the age need more or less sleep then the "average" you just need to find what works best for your daughter. It is worth a try, maybe take a week or so to really see who the changes effect her. When you start throwing shcool into the mix MUST get the needed sleep even if she does not get to see daddy.

Your daughter's bedtime is way too late. She should be in bed by about 8. While it is important for your daughter and husband to spend time together, your daughter's sleep is more important. Maybe he can read her a story in bed when he gets home. Spending 20 minutes putting her to bed every night is quality time together.

I agree, her bedtime needs to be earlier. My younger son just turned 5 this week and bedtime is 830a. Most mornings he wakes up around 730a, sometimes later. So on average he is getting 11 hours of sleep a night, no naps just quiet time for 30 minutes at preschool. There are nights he is up later (we have a lot of baseball practices and sometimes he goes with us) but he can sleep in the next morning as I don't have to get him up until 815a.

I think you are setting her up for a hard time when she starts "big" school next year. So, start on a bedtime that works for you. I hubby gets home at the latest 8PM, maybe make sure you have already done bath and got PJ's on. For him to spend some time with her, let him be the one to put her to bed. He can take up to 30 minutes reading stories, playing quitely, or talking, but let him do that part so he can see her a bit. My 8 & 10 year olds still have an 8PM upstairs time and 8:30 lights out time. Granted they have to be in up for school no later than 6:30AM, but that is what is coming for your daughter as well! Ok, back to bedtime, try doing bedtime 15minutes early for about 3 days, get her used to that, then 15min earlier for another 3 days, etc. until she's to the time you'd like (I'd suggest 8:30). If you go from her going to bed at 10 to her going to bed at 9:15, she probably won't adust well since she's used to going to bed at 10. You didn't say what time she gets up in the morning, and you also didn't say if you put her in bed at 10 and she puts herself to sleep or if she's actually asleep by 10. I'm assuming you are putting her in bed by 10 and she may take 10-30 minutes to actually get to sleep. That means she's getting even less sleep! Most kids I've dealt with/known either have kids that go to be early (8PM) and are up by 7-8AM with no nap, or they have kids that go to bed later (10PM) and also still take a nap at 4 years old. You probably need to decide on one of those and work towards it. If she's not napping at home, are you still having rest time or down time where she has to stay in her room and maybe only have puzzles or books in her bed? That's another idea to see if she'll nap during the day, but if she won't nap, you've got to get her to bed earlier. Good luck. I know it must be tough if hubby doesn't get home until so late! But, also start thinking of Kindergarten...she'll probably have to be at school by 7:35, so she'll need that sleep even if daddy isn't home yet.