10 Year Old Punishment

Hi T.,

I think this will be very helpful to you: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/when_...

It has an overview, then a link on that page to how to respond to it, how to prevent it, etc.

Hope this helps!! I know it would for me!:)

I agree with several people, punishment is not the answer, education is. It is perfectly natural for young boys to have questions, and if you don't help them find the answers according to your beliefs, then his friends will. There is a book the Jehovah's Witnesses publish call "Questions Young People ask, Vol 2" it has helped people of all religions discuss important topics with their children. I am sure that there are also several books at your local library to help you have a discussion about this with your son, ask your Librarian. I have 2 sons, 13 and 11, thoguh they did not like talking about their bodies and sex with their mother, I was able to have them read the "Young People Ask" book and let them know that I was available if they had questions about anything that thye read.

By age 10, it is important to have begun discussions about his sexuality. Curiosity is a normal part of growing up, and children tend to "share" a lot with their friends at this point. There are some excellent books available to help your son understand the differences between girls and boys and to help explore his feelings about himself and others.

I think the bigger question about the movies is where he got them. . . if someone from school or on the playground shared them, do his or her parents know? Or worse, did they come from an adult? If so, that needs to be handled immediately. The other question: did he actually even see them? You may have found them before he had the opportunity to view them.

I don't think it is appropriate to punish your son for this "first" offense. Sexuality is a normal part of life. That said, he needs to understand what is and is not appropriate behavior, that it is essential to respect both himself and members of the opposite sex, and that like the cartoons and fictious movies he watches on TV, these movies and materials are fantasy stories, not really the way people behave.

I don't think you need to punish so much you need to have a talk about what is appropriate material to be looking at and caring around. I don't think punishment is the right thing to do at this point. I would also find out where he got it since you know he didn't walk into a store and buy it. Good luck

I think you and your husband should have a sit down talk with your son. Before jumping on him ask him lots of questions. Such as "Where did you get the movies? Why do you want to watch them? Are your friends watching them? etc. Then if you are Christian explain to him that this is evil and God does not want you to hurt your mind with this. Ten years old is so young for this. It may be a case of curiosity. Still he needs to know it is wrong. AF

First you need to find out where he got them from. At home??? Lock them up. From a friend??? talk to the
parent(s) of that child. They may not be aware. He's either interested or is being exposed by any outside source. So you definitely have to know what's going on with him. Children now see so much more than we were exposed to. Just yesterday a Victoria Secret commercial came on and he was watching it but when I looked at him he was quite aware of his staring and turned in embarrassment when he noticed I was looking at him. It never crossed my mind that he would be aware.

I think punishment is not needed yet, though I can see your shock at this. I would find out where he got them from and let that parent/person know. I would also take this opportunity to teach him the right and wrong things and what is an is not allowed. And this is a huge respect for women area.

He is going to be probably more embarrassed than you. I would sit him down and ask where he got them. Are they even his? Have you had a discussion about sex? About his changing body? About objectifying women and making them sex objects? About STI's and pregnancy? If he is not receiving his information from you, he will consult peers, and this is incomplete information at best and dangerous at the worst. Talk with him and then determine if a punishment is even warrented.

Leave this one to the hubs if you can. If you can't, find a responsible male role model that your son is familiar with (i.e. your dad, an uncle or someone close to the family that your son looks up to.) This is an issue for a man to tackle.

I don't think I'd punish him on this first offense. I'd take it as a sign that he's very curious about sex and talk to him about it beyond the mechanics, which he probably already has learned but wanted to really understand. Then, I'd ask him what he thought about what he saw. Most likely, he'll laugh and say it looked pretty stupid. Then, teach him that sex is beautiful between two people who love each other and that you'd prefer he not watch porno tapes which reduce sex to something weird and unemotional. Teach him your family's position on sex, marriage, children, etc. I'd also want to know how he got them. I agree with responder about concern with adult giving them to him.

my question is where did he get them. he may or may not know what they are but someone was dumb enough to let a child get ahold of them and that is who you need to talk to. id ask my son what those tapes were in his backpack all inocentlly and who let him borrow them. see what his reaction is. then talk to him about the tapes. tell him how you feel aout them weither they be for adults only or degrading to woman..whatever you feeel and go from there. you cant punish him if what he did wrong he didnt wven knw was wrong. he may just be curious and wanted to know what it was about which gives you the oportunity to speak to him about the birds and the bees. another possibility was that a friend or classmate told him to ake it and in order to sty "cool" he accepted it. good luck