Question About Visitation - for Split Homes

Updated on January 31, 2013
C.Z. asks from Manning, IA
15 answers

So it is my understanding that when a judge rules for weekend visitation it is usually from Friday at this time to Sunday at this time. Is that not true?

Court got continued so every other weekend was set by the judge without the paperwork, however friend is now having issues getting her child at the right time.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There is no blanket answer. Each case is looked at individually and the order would be what worked out best for the parents and the child.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

Court can rule one thing, but eventually if it doesn't work out and the parents are amicable, they settle it themselves. Thats what we did with my step daughter.

4 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If the time is unwritten then there is no time frame that must be followed. The parent that has the weekend can actually keep that child until Monday morning if they want. Like taking them to school to drop them off.

So a weekend visit can be from school getting out on Friday until school starting on Monday morning. They need to make sure they agree on a time to meet and then both show up. If he doesn't or she doesn't there is nothing anyone can do because there is no time frame written.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

What is the "right" time? If it wasn't spelled out in a court document, then it is between her and the father to work out the details of the visitation time. This is where parents need to be grownups....

The "ruling" is whatever is stated in the latest court document. Each separating/divorcing couple can have this written the way they chose (within reason), and as long as it was accepted by the court, that's the way it works. If the document wasn't specific enough, or what was written isn't working, it is up to the two parents to come to an agreement or, last resort I hope, go back to their lawyers to get it changed.

My ex and I did not have anything that specific written into our mediated agreement, because we can and do speak with each other and agree, with very few issues. He and his first ex, on the other hand, had to have absolutely everything - date/time/location/who paid spelled out for every visitation or there was a fight....

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Visitation and times are unique to every family.

The temporary ruling, in light of the continuance, should be very specific.

Your friend should check with the county clerk's office to verify the temporary ruling. There has to be SOMETHING on file.

No one can follow orders if they aren't specified, so it doesn't make sense for one not to know. If orders were already in place and not changed, then you have your answer.

I've dealt with custody issues more than I'd like to admit. Judges don't make rulings without paperwork.

Again, check with the court clerk.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Yep. It should state it in the decree.

Also, usually whoever is taking possession of the child picks up the child. If kid is going to dad's, he picks up kid...if kid is coming to you, you pick up kid.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

No, it's not. Each visitation plan is worked out with both parents either before going to court or afterwards. A parent's work schedule is one factor to be considered. My grandson's visitation was set for a specific time in the court order but when that wasn't working his parents worked out a different one maintaining the number of days listed in the order. They changed it again when he entered school. If the parents can't agree they can go back to court and ask for a different order. But, of course, it's best when the parents can co-operate with each other.

At first the parenting time was during the week, I think. It's now Friday after school to Saturday at 2 pm and every other week, Friday after school to Sunday at 2 pm. His parents decided on their own on the times.

I suggest that your friend contact the court and get the paper work. Courts keep everything in writing. It's possible that the judge didn't specify a specific time if he thought the parents would co-operate. But call the judges secretary and find out.

Or call her lawyer if she has one.

Remind her this is just temporary. I suggest, unless he's keeping the child for a day or more past time to just go along with it until she gets to court. Perhaps she can calmly discuss this with her ex and reach an agreement. Be flexible and understanding of his issues for the time being. This is just the beginning of many years of working issues out.

Perhaps she could get an appointment with a mediator to get help talking with her ex. The court should be able to give her names and phone numbers. Again, ask the secretary.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

It's whatever days and times the court ordered agreement says. The parents can be flexible if they both agree to changes, but orders usually specify the time and if one is in contempt, that can be pursued at the next hearing. For younger kids, the order could reasonably be Saturday to Sunday but for most, it usually is Friday - Sunday, giving the non-custodial parent two nights.

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L.M.

answers from Orlando on

My daughters dads every other weekend is from Friday after school to Monday morning return to school.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Unless a time is specified, the parents need to set a time that works for them. As a child of divorce where the parents were reasonably civil, and not idiots about visitation, I hope the parents aren't being petty about the time. The need to decide what they want to do and think about the CHILDREN first.

Perhaps they do dinner with mom on Friday and get dropped off before bedtime on Sunday. Or dad picks them up from school on Friday and drops them off by dinner time on Sunday. They need to be fair and decent with each other, and loving to the children.

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

For us, it is true.

It should all be spelled out perfectly in the Parenting Plan though...why the question? There shouldn't be ANY ambiguity what-so-ever!

-------Updated after your update-------------
The parents need to agree on times then. Ours is 6pm on Friday to 6pm on Sunday.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

My judgment specifies pick up and drop off times. And that they must be followed to within 15 minutes unless agreed on in advance.

In our case, weekends are from 1pm Sat afternoon til 9:30 Sunday morning. So it can be whatever the parents agree to, or however the judge decides to rule. Having these exact times in our legal judgment has saved me tons of grief.

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

The times are whatever the document the judge signed said. These thing are very specific.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

In our home, it was Friday night (after school but sometimes she picked them up in the early evening) to Sunday 7PM (time to get them to bed for school). We did exchanges at school/aftercare when they were little. If the order doesn't say 6PM Friday then she needs to get it specified.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Actually, it isn't always specific and not always does the JUDGES order say it specifically. We ran into this and had to file with the court the EXACT times of pick up and drop off for every.single.situation.there.possilbly.could.be. No kidding. My husbands ex would make up her own rules unless it said it in black and white. We even had to have it say "receiving parent" is to pick up the kid. She was trying to make US drive to take her daughter to her. So now, you want her, its YOUR parenting time, so YOU come and get her. So your friend needs to file something specific asap. If her ex will agree to a schedule, they can both notarize it then just take it to the court and have it filed under their case. That way its done. But make sure its VERY detailed for every holiday, school break, weekends, vacations, etc. Good luck!

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