10-Month Cries When Put in Crib

Updated on June 15, 2011
H.G. asks from New York, NY
12 answers

My 10-month old has never been a good sleeper (always fed often @ night), he continues to wake up for a bottle twice during the night. However, though he has been falling asleep by himself since he was 3 months old (I sit by the crib), he has now decided he hates it there. He usually cries when I put him in his crib after his bath and lullabies (bedtime is 7:30-8) and especially after his first bottle at around midnight. After his second bottle (4-5ish am), he refuses to go back to sleep in his crib and co-sleeps with me until wakeup at 7. Has anyone dealt with this before and any suggestions as to what can be done?

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Let him CIO to get himself to sleep. Do the 5 minutes out, soothe for 30 seconds - don't pick up ever, 10 minutes out, soothe for 30 seconds, 15 minutes out, etc. In a 10 month old, it will work REALLY well. in 2 days he should be set.

Also, there is no reason a 10 month old needs to be fed twice in the middle of the night. He should be sleeping through by now. So you should really try to cut one out now and then another in a little while. Again, go in and soothe him but don't pick him up. He needs to learn how to get himself back to sleep!

Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I probably could have answered your question more easily 5 yrs. ago. It's been a long time since I read Dr. Ferber's book though.

I got it from a friend when I was at my wit's end when my 1st son was 2 1/2 and STILL waking up nearly every night- and would take forever to go back to sleep.

The book worked miracles for us. He slept through the night the first or 2nd night we tried it. It took him a little longer to fall asleep on his own- maybe 3 or 4 nights.

A lot of people misunderstand when they hear "the Ferber method" and think it is "cry it out". It is not. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. You don't just let baby cry for 2 hours until they fall asleep. I couldn't do that. You do get to go in and comfort your crying baby.

The book is also full of really good information about sleep. If you just get the basic idea of how the method works, but don't read the book (a lot of people do), it's not as effective because you miss out on a lot of important information, like when you do _______, baby can't learn to soothe himself back to sleep because________.

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...
Hang in there!!! =o)

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T.G.

answers from Seattle on

I had this problem with my first baby as well. My dr suggested the cry it out method and it's really hard. But it works and will not damage your baby in any way. I would let her cry for ten minutes and then go in her room, not saying anything and lay her back down if she was standing or just rub her belly for a second and then walk back out. Then go back in there in fifteen minutes and do the same thing, then twenty minutes and so on. It may take a couple of nights but it will eventually work.

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X.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Let him cry. Don't pick him up. If he knows that every time he cries you will pick him up he won't stop until you do it. It may take a few days for him to realize crying won't get him out of that crib. If you know everything is fine with him and it's not teething, then let him cry. Go in once in a while to let him know everything is fine. but other than that, let him cry

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Feed him much more during the day. He may seem fine, but if he is waking twice per night at 10 months he is not full. After a few days of more calories all day long (not just right before bed) he will sleep longer. It will take his body a few days to register the change so don't be frustrated the first night. You can assess the crib situation then. Once I knew he was full, I would let him cry when I put him down, and then hopefully he wouldn't wake during the night. I learned that trick from a mother of 10 who got hers to ALL sleep through by 3 months, and it worked for my 3.

M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There could be so many reasons for the change . . . first year molars (this happened with my son @ 11mos), separation anxiety (its actually worse around 18mos, ugh), becoming more sensitive to light (make sure to black out every source of light. I learned with my son's many sleep issues that 9-12mos is when they become the lightest sleepers, they're working on large motor skills and practice in their sleep - supposedly, this is also the worst time to try and sleep-train a baby.

Elizabeth Pantley's book was the best for our situation. We learned about many things/cues we were doing incorrectly to make things worse. For example: when picking up the crying baby, we would talk quietly, tell him all was okay, put the music on, etc. We were teaching him that music was for being awake, and that since we were talking it was okay to be awake.

Good luck!!!

S.M.

answers from Detroit on

Let him cry.... put a little cereal in his bottle to make him sleep through the night... worked wonders for me when my baby was 3mons i put about 3tbspns of cereal in her milk and she slept all night and it trained her now I just put her to bed and she goes right to sleep(if we don't have company lol). It won't make him fat either my child is healthy and has a normal weight for a 17mon old.

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Oh boy. Time to sleep train that kiddo!

At 10 mos, that baby does not need to eat overnight at all, much less 2x.

You have to choose what works for you, but training him to sleep on his own (and through the night) is going to require *some* kind of crying. It's up to you how much you can/want to endure.
Just remember that full CIO works the fastest (close the door and don't go in until morning). 2-3 nights and you'll be totally on track.

Other versions will work, they'll just take a little longer.

Whatever you do - let him cry. He needs to learn how to self soothe. And having you there by the crib, as well as feeding him in the middle of the night has prevented that from happening.

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, H.:

You have created this schedule for him.

Now you have to decide what kind of schedule you want him to be on.
It takes perservence and discipline. Ask family for help and support.
Good luck.
D.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When you read responses, please remember that what works for some babies doesn't work for all babies... Also, because your baby used to go to sleep on his own, but now won't, I'd look for the source of the problem.

First thought - is something scaring him in his room? At this age, for reasons unknown to me, my 1st son suddenly because scared of a stuffed giraffe that had been in his room since birth. When I took the giraffe out of the room, he started sleeping better again.

Did anything else in his life change - did he start daycare or switch childcare providers? Is he teething or going through a growth spurt? If it's any of these, he might just need time to adjust and get through this separation anxiety stage.

If you don't think it's anything like this, CIO can work, if your baby doesn't have any underlying issues, he is full and comfortable, and isn't very strong-willed. It didn't work for either of mine.

Child #1: very strong-willed. I tried CIO once and 2.5 hours into it he was still standing in his crib screaming, nowhere close to sleep. I gave up and went back to other methods - rocking him until he is very very sleepy then putting him in his bed a little more awake each night, until, over time, I could put him in bed fully awake and he would fall asleep on his own. It takes more time than CIO, but it can work.

Child #2: had reflux, woke at night to eat because it counteracts the acid from the reflux and makes him feel better. I continued to feed him at night 1) because I didn't think it was right to let him CIO when he was in pain and 2) all the spitting up with the reflux made it hard for him to gain weight and so I wanted him to eat as much as he could keep down. Now that he's outgrown the reflux (he's 16 months), I am using the method I used for my 1st to get him to sleep on his own and it's working. I am also giving him more food during the day, and am gradually switching him over from a bottle of formula at night to just water at night so that he becomes less dependent on the calories he gets at night (if you are breastfeeding, you can do the same thing by shortening the nursing session by a few minutes each week. The biggest trick to this is to NOT let him fall asleep nursing).

A third option is co-sleeping. I haven't done this, but you can find mommas who have, and it works well for them. They would be better at giving advice on this than I am, since I haven't done it.

Good books on helping your child sleep OTHER than Ferber's include Dr. Sears book and Elizabeth Pantley's book. Good luck!

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F.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

It sounds to me like your son hasn't learned how to comfort himself. My first born went through this same kind of thing. I was up until 2am every night for at least a year. She would fall asleep in my arms but as soon as I put her in the crib, she would wake up crying.

Finally, the only way that I was able to break this cycle was to let her cry it out. It was very difficult to do. Trust me, it hurt me far more than it hurt her. But, it was worth it. After a day or two of this, she was able to be placed in her crib still awake and be able to fall asleep on her own.

I know this may sound like a drastic method. But, it does work. And, your son learning to comfort himself is a necessary step. He shouldn't be waking up for feeding at this age. I would make a bet that he isn't really hungry. He is using that as a comfort mechanism. It is definitely time to break him of these habits.

Good Luck!

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E.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Time to Ferberize that kid! Get Dr. Ferber's Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems and read it all the way through before you try to start with a sleep training system. It works very well if you actually do what he says and it is a total disaster when people try to "wing it" without understanding the system. It isn't "CIO" but it does work!

Also, it is definitely time to stop the night feedings. Increase his food during the day, and don't feed him at night (drop the midnight feeding first) because, a) he needs uninterrupted sleep to grow properly (to say nothing of you!) and b) feeding at night causes tooth decay. You aren't brushing his teeth after those midnight bottles, right? There is a reason they stop feeding at night about the same time the teeth come it. Google "baby bottle mouth" and you will stop those feedings quick! ;-)

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