When Two Becomes Three
Everyone loves to tell my husband and me that as soon as the baby comes, our lives are going to change forever. Sometimes this is said with excitement – like our lives are going to get infinitely more meaningful – but mostly it’s said with caution.
“Get your sleep now!”
“Say goodbye to late nights with friends.”
“You’ll never go to the bathroom with the door closed again…”
It’s true. Our lives are going to change forever. I would be pretty naïve to think that bringing a human into the world and being responsible for his wellbeing for THE REST OF OUR LIVES wouldn’t have much impact on our day-to-day routine.
However, I can’t say exactly how this great big change is going to unfold, and it’s the not knowing that keeps me up at night.
The thing is, we kinda liked NOT being parents. I guess I’m supposed to feel guilty about confessing that, but I don’t. My husband and I have really loved just being a couple – no kids, no baggage. From the time we started dating about seven years ago, we’ve really maximized our time without “real” responsibilities (other than work and taking care of our cats, I suppose). From travel excursions to music festivals to gatherings with friends, we know how to have fun. And since we both work quite a bit during the week, we also relish in our downtime. We’re no strangers to the occasional weekend Netflix binge, sitting in our pjs until 4:00pm and ordering takeout. All in all, not having kids, doing what we want when we want, is pretty glorious. There I said it.
So while I know change is on the horizon, the thing I’m not as prepared for is how the dynamic will change between us.
My favorite time of day is when my husband and I come home and trade stories about what happened at work. I love catching up and feeling reassured that no matter what, we can always have a good laugh about the day’s events. No matter how crazy the world gets, we’ve created a safe haven for just us two. Sometimes I wonder how things will be when it becomes us three. Will the conversation shift to nanny scheduling or diaper inventory? Will we still find time to connect as people amidst rectal thermometers and breast pumps? Change might be an understatement.
But as much as I’m going to miss the current version of “us,” I yearn for the next chapter. I’m actually pretty excited to go from nursing a hangover on a Sunday to nursing a baby. I want to make space in our lives to savor parenthood just as we cherished our pre-baby lifestyle. Raising a child will be the ultimate challenge, but I think our partnership is up to the task so long as we don’t lose sight of ourselves entirely.
This morning, I rolled over in bed and hugged my husband. “This will be one of our last weekends just the two of us,” I said.
“It will always be the two of us,” he replied.
And I guess it always will.
Jillian Gordon is the Managing Editor of Mamapedia.com. A Los Angeles-based lifestyle writer and editor, her work has appeared in Beauty Launchpad, Nailpro Magazine, Saturday Night Magazine and Westside Today. She is also the former Content Manager of Mom.me. Jillian is currently expecting her first baby in late November, 2016.
