Tips for Encouraging Responsibility

Remember when you’d roll your eyes when one-or both-of your parents would hit you with “When I was your age…” only to find yourself repeating those very words to your own kids? Somehow the last generation of kids have grown up with a sense of entitlement and are not always thought of as the most responsible. To stave off entitlement in coming generations (and possibly in the current one), it’s your role as a parent to raise your children so they understand the meaning of responsibility. And the earlier you start, the better off you and your kids will be. Jennifer Lundy-Aguerre, MFT, Positive Change Counseling Center in La Mesa, CA (www.pccounselingcenter.com) adds her expertise to our tips.


1. Picking up after children ends when they are no longer in a high chair flinging spaghetti onto the floor. Teach your kids to put their toys away when they’re done playing. After meals, show them how to put their plates and silverware in the dishwasher or in the sink.


2. Teach older children how to properly answer the phone and take a message if you’re occupied or unavailable. As a reminder, keep a notepad or pre-printed message pad and pen next to the phone.


3. Teach your kids to be respectful of others and express this by saying “Please,” “Thank You,” or “I’m sorry.” If someone does a nice thing for your child or presents him with a gift, teach him to write a nice “Thank You” note…Old school style. You can even buy small Thank You notes with your child’s initial on them. It might seem very old fashioned, but in these times of 24/7 tech, it’s a memorable touch to receive an actual letter or note in the mail.


4. Ask your child if she has a favorite cause or charity and show her how she can help that cause and others by donating a portion of her allowance to it. Lundy-Aguerre says that “Volunteering at a local food bank or other community-based organization with your child will teach them responsibility, kindness and the importance of making time to help others.”


5. Teach your child how to handle household emergencies and maintenance. For instance, show your kids where the smoke detectors are and have them keep calendars of when to change the batteries. “Enlist your child’s help with developing a fire/tornado/earthquake/hurricane safety plan for your family. If your child helps create the plan, they will be more likely to remember the steps during an actual emergency,” advises Lundy-Aguerre.


6. Teach children how to handle first-aid and how (and why) to call 9-1-1. Keep a laminated card by the phone that lists your home address and phone number in case, during an actual emergency, your child panics or gets forgetful.

These tips aren’t intended to cause fear in your children, but rather to make them resourceful and to prepare them for the real world. In short, Lundy-Aguerre opines, “The best way to help your child become more responsible and self-sufficient is to stop doing things for them that they can do themselves!”



Shelley Moench-Kelly, MBA, is a New England-based writer and editor whose freelance clients include Google, L’Oreal Paris and TheWeek.com.