The Day I Saved a Little Boy from His Mother

“Sometimes god removes people from your life. Don’t run after them.” ~ Unknown

I read that quote the other day and it rang true for me in that moment. I don’t understand why some of us hold on so tight to the people, places, and things that are unhealthy for us? Why are we so fundamentally flawed? Why can’t we see what’s right in front of our face? Why do we get so defensive when others try to point it out for us?

Recently, I witnessed the harsh realities of addiction and the effects it has on the children caught in the crossfire.

It was a Saturday afternoon when my husband got the text. A friend of ours was expressing suicidal thoughts via text message to another mutual friend. She also mentioned ending the life of her four year old child who was by her side.

When you hear a thing like that, you know something needs to be done immediately. She was staying at a motel in town, but wouldn’t tell anyone where. It took me 25 minutes to convince her to tell us where she was. She caved when I told her my husband and I where in the area and wanted to stop by to bring her and her son some food.

When we got there the room was in disarray and she was acting like nothing had happened. There where trash bags of clothes everywhere. Her four year old was sitting in his own urine. The room stunk like cigarettes and her face was a mess of scars from picking at it.

As I looked around the room I thought how lucky I was she had actually told me where they were. She didn’t need to tell me what was wrong. We both knew. Only drug addiction can ruin someone this fast.

This women, who less then a year ago had kept one of the cleanest houses I had ever seen, (before she lost it, and everything else) was now living in a pigsty; a drug infested motel that was only paid up until the following day. She couldn’t even look me in the eye she was so high.

I asked if she minded me taking her four year old to the pumpkin patch and later to my house. I told her I would bring him back the next day. I lied right to her face.

She packed me a bag full of clothes as if she expected me not to bring him back. At the time, I had no idea what I was going to do with a four year old little boy, but I knew I couldn’t leave him there, in that place.

The irony of the situation was that I had stayed directly below that room with my own family as a kid for a few months. Growing up, my father was never around and my mother suffered from mental illness. We struggled throughout my childhood. In some instances we were homeless and stayed wherever we could, including that motel which is used by the county to house homeless families. It is a wretched, awful, disgusting place no child should ever call home.

Before we left, my husband and I tried to convince my old friend to get help because this wasn’t the first time she threatened suicide and honestly, I dont think it will be the last unless she gets the help she needs.

You might be wondering why I didn’t call the police on her once I got there. The truth is my only concern was getting the child out of that place and away to safety. Because all of our pleading and warnings to our friend fell on deaf ears, and it reminded me just how blind we can be to our own tragedies.

On the way home we stopped and bought the little guy an outfit to change into that didn’t smell of cigarette butts. We asked if he wanted to come home with us to stay for awhile, and he said yes so fast it broke my heart.

Once there, I cleaned him up and let him play with my girls. Eventually, I got ahold of a relative and explained the situation. Later that night, he left my house in the arms of a very loving and safe family member. I’m not sure how his life will be going forward, I only hope it gets better for him.

The phone call to his mother was not pleasent. As angry as she was, I hope she understands one day why I did what I did. In her right mind my friend would have never said those things, let alone kept her child in a place like that. I did not know this person she had become because of drugs, but I refuse to turn a blind eye to the suffering of a child.

Part of being a good friend, is not cosigning their bullshit. I hope she gets the help she needs. This life is very short and is a gift when lived well. I prey she doesn’t waste it any longer.

As for me, I realized that day that I could no longer continue to chase after anyone on that path. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. No matter how hard you try, all you can hope is that your own light is bright enough to show them the way back home when they’re ready.

Gizelle Arriola is a mother of a wonderfully chaotic family of two wildly funny and equally crazy little girls who always keep her on her toes. She enjoys reading, poker and long walks on the beach as well as blogging about her sometimes entertaining life and the joys of motherhood (not necessarily in that order), and whenever possible, she takes her handsome and at-times impossible husband along for the ride. Look for her at her website Dearest Mommy or on Facebook and Twitter.