Parenting Police
Today, I want to talk about the Parenting Police. What is it about parents who just feel that they can tell you everything…about what their view is on breastfeeding, on schooling, on play dates or how you should discipline your child? It seems to me there is this endless troupe of parents that just descend upon you at the strangest moments, and you feel them sort of looking at you, judging you…sort of asking themselves (at least you interpret it that way), “Why is she not breastfeeding anymore? She’s got a bottle. I don’t understand that.”
And then I realized, actually, that I do that myself. I am guilty of that. For instance, if I see kids running around in a restaurant, I think, “What is wrong with those parents? Why don’t they make their children sit down? They should be able to do that. They’re ruling their lives.” While I’m having an opinion, they’re having an opinion, thinking, “Why don’t they let their children run around? Why do they have to be sitting there…static?
Point in case: I remember once with Boris, I was walking down the street when he was a baby and he was sort of fussing, and all of a sudden this woman out-of the-blue shouts, “Oh, poor baby. He’s so hungry!” And I thought, oh my god, is he hungry? Then I thought, wait a minute, he’s not hungry because I just fed him. So I said, “Excuse me, I know you mean well, but this is my baby and I know when he’s hungry, thank you.”
I don’t even know if she was a parent herself, but you just feel so… judged. And of all the things I have ever done in my life – acting, writing – the most judged I feel is when I’m a parent; when I’m parenting my children.
Sometimes, I even feel my children are looking at me and thinking, “Why did she say that?” And I realized that it is my own brain, judging myself.
When you’re a parent, it’s just that you are so sensitive to doing it right…or doing it wrong. I think at the end of the day, all I can do - all I have the power to do - is just to let go, trust my own instincts and realize what I provide for them is what I feel they need. And maybe I should be less judgmental of other parents. And maybe other parents should be less judgmental of me.
That’s my thought of the day.
Tatyana Yassukovich is a voiceover actress/playwright who is raising four stepkids and one kid of her own. She started blogging as a way of expressing her impressions and truths about raising children and the role of stepparent. Please visit her blog, Parenting Perplexities.
