No, I Don't Want to Build a Snowman: Surviving Your 80th Snow Day

In light of the recent blizzard conditions in the country, perhaps this wasn’t the best winter for the movie “Frozen” to come out. Where I live, it feels like Queen Elsa has had a super tantrum.

This winter can suck it, seriously.

Every time it snows, my daughter starts singing, “Do You Want To Build A Snowman”. At first, I thought it was cute, now, not so much. I really don’t want to build a snowman. I really don’t want to go out in the snow, or even see it for that matter. This winter has wreaked havoc on the school schedules. I feel like my kids have been home more than they have been in school. The fun of the occasional snow day, and the pleasure that comes when a snow storm falls on a Holiday weekend has been replaced by the “oh no, not again” feeling.

This winter started off, at least for me, rather warm. I had dreams of yet another mild Virginia winter. Maybe if we were lucky we might get one good snowstorm, the kids could go play in it and then like typical Virginia weather goes, it would melt before the week was over and return to “normal” weather.

Of course that hasn’t happened. We got one day where I dared to hope, only to find that Mother Nature was going to piss all over that dream and send yet another storm resultin in my cell phone buzzing in the middle of the night. (We all know what that means) and I didn’t want to read the Code Red alert that would give the kids yet another day off.

Honestly, I’m tired. It has nothing to do with the kids being at home or being stuck in the house. Netflix has become the must-have item to get through this winter. Gone are the days of rushing to the Supermarket to get bread and milk. Now all I need are Oreos, Milk and Netflix. If I don’t feel like going out for the Oreos and Milk as long as I have Netflix, I’m alright. Until the power goes out…

Now, adding insult to injury, a lot of the country has no power because of the ice storms. Really?! It was bad enough that we all have to be stuck in the house together, now you have to cut the power and take away my internet access, my Netflix, the heat. The heat comes in third because you can always put on more clothes but no internet access, now I’m pissed.

Instead of trying to make snow days wonderful and fun for the kids, I’ve created a checklist to help YOU get through the next six weeks of winter that that damn groundhog predicted.

1. Vitamin D3 – It will keep you human. I’m definitely feeling the winter blahs, this helps me but just remember I’m not a doctor so if something horrible happens, don’t sue me.

2. Alcohol – Whiskey in the morning, Tequila in evening. Only because Tequila doesn’t mix very well with coffee or tea.

3. Netflix – The only thing that’s going to be worth watching on TV is the news report. At least if you need to, you can watch a Scooby Doo marathon.

4. Snacks – Make sure you don’t just stock up on comfort food that the kids like, get your favorites too.

5. Alcohol – Just in case you missed it the first time, I’m repeating it. Life is easier to deal with when you’re slightly buzzed.

6. Board Games – When the power goes out you’re going to be stuck playing Chutes and Ladders and Memory for hours on end if you don’t stock up.

7. Cook Books – Many of my friends like to cook something elaborate on a snow day. I once thought they were crazy, now I see the genius in it. Everyone will leave you alone when you’re in the kitchen cooking, it’s a lot better than seeking refuge in the bathroom.

8. Candles – You’ll need these if your power goes out. Word to the wise – don’t buy a bunch of different scents – your house will smell like a 1000 stink bugs died.

9. Epsom Salt – This is for after you take the kids out to play and wake up the next day feeling like you’re 80.

10. Juice – You need something to mix the tequila with.

This is how I have made it through the last 80 snow days, or at least it feels that way. Only 34 days to go until the first day spring. All I have to say is it had better be one hot summer and no, I won’t complain. I’m looking forward to 100 degree weather with 100% humidity to the point I’m sweating and can barely breath.

Michelle D. is a graduate of the George Washington University where she studied many things that never prepared her for motherhood. A self-professed movie and TV snob, she also has an encyclopedic knowledge of all things musical. When she’s not chasing twin toddlers, a kindergartener, or catching up on the latest tween drama, she’s blogging. Scattered Wrecks showcases her short stories, social commentary and advice through her series, ‘Diary of a Third Wife’. The series chronicles the trials and triumphs of managing a blended family and dealing with ex-spouses. Michelle lives in Northern Virginia with her husband and her blended family of five. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest.