Photo by: Ian Buchanan

Memories of my Father

by Tiaras and Tantrums
Photo by: Ian Buchanan

My father was perhaps the hardest working person I have ever met (besides my twin brothers). Because of his (extreme) work ethic, I rarely saw him as a child. At the dinner table each night where we were not allowed to speak one single word or we were dismissed from the dinner table. On Sunday mornings at church as he would give me and my brothers the evil eye if we moved a muscle.

Each and every Sunday we all(me and my little brothers and father) would load up into the cab of my father’s pickup truck and drive to my grandmother’s house (my father’s mother). Every single Sunday. It was a joy, an absolute treat to go. She lived on this huge farm with geese, pigs, cows, chickens, horses and a huge barn.This barn was a delight to explore for new baby kittens… even though my grandmother drowned each and everyone that we found.

I had a mini-bike and my brothers had three-wheelers and we shared a snowmobile for the winter months. We rode horses, collected eggs, climbed the windmill, we explored the deserted train tracks. And we worked as well. In the garden harvesting every vegetable you could think of. We chopped wood, loaded wood, stacked wood and we swept wood chips. I also helped butcher chickens (my brothers were excused from this disgusting chore). I could chop off a chicken’s head, pluck it clean, cut it up perfectly and feed the feet to the cats… I don’t think I could do it today though.

After play time or work time there was always snack time. My grandmother was very German and one had to rest and eat after playing or working. She had the best little snack time ever; to this day I can taste her perfectly plump blackberries with fresh cream, her delicious cheeses and meats and her water that was pumped from the well.

My father would sit at one end of the table and my grandmother at the other. Each would drink, eat and chat. My brothers and I would devour whatever food was in sight and beg for ice cream.

These are the memories of my father… these are the rare times that I saw him as a child.

My father became ill and was diagnosed with a rare blood disease when I was a 15 and quickly deteriorated. We no longer went to my grandmother’s on Sundays. He no longer went to church with us on Sundays. In fact, he was rarely in any shape to do or see anyone.

My father died two months after I graduated from high school. I had already moved away by that time. I was (and still am) sad that I never got to say goodbye to him. But I do know that he has been watching out for me all these years.

My father was very proud of me for graduating high school. I remember chatting with him once when my boyfriend was over at our house and we were discussing college. He was very sick at by this time. My father told me to leave and never come back and to stay away and do whatever it took to be successful. He told me to travel and suggested that I apply to be an airline attendant (I wish I would have listened to him on this one). This was a rare conversation that my father ever had with me and I will cherish it forever. That is my favorite memory of my father.

I stayed away and I did succeed and I love to travel.

What is your favorite memory of your father?

Sassy Redheaded, Tiara wearing, No Tantrums Allowed, Marshmallow Momma to 3 gorgeous children whom I love to the ends of the earth and more.I am just a woman who is a little bit girlie, a little bit naughty and completely divine. Living the splendid life!

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47 Comments

My father also died young, I am sorry for your loss.Thank-you for sharing your story. What beautiful memories you have of him.

“I Still Hear You”

The one organ of contact with existence is Love.
It pulls me backward to your grave,
Where we talked today…
Amidst anthills, wilted flowers, and stoic little flags.

Five years, Dad.
Without you, who remembers me?
My loneliness conspires against gratitude’s purest form.
Resentment of your wildman persona
Rivals childlike reverence for my idealized memory...

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Loved this story. Yeah, I believe my parents are watching over me too. He only wanted you to do good things in life and sweetie you have made him happy I am sure of it. He loved you and as a man probably had a hard time showing it. But thats where your grandma filled in. Cherish those memories. God Bless. Beautiful story.

My "papa" was one of the most honest, hardworking and neatest person besides my husband now. Growing up I used to think he was so "mean", he'd make me make my bed, clean my room, finish all my food at the table, do homework and get good grades, never swear or use slang, he'd always monitor my whereabouts, knew when to say no, and punish me harshly if I ever lied...Gosh what a horrible father right??? wrong.....

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My father passed away when I was 27 and he was 73. I was his only child. We lived together(just the two of us)the last year of his life; I gave him a great 73rd birthday, we had a great Christmas, he went into the hospital the first week in January 1995 and died Feb. 8, 1995 (the day after my 27th birthday). I was fortunate to take care of him in his last year. We had always been close...

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This past sunday 1/10 would have been my Dad's 90th birthday, he died at 47. He never was here to see his girls graduate from highschool get married or have children.I was the oldest and very close to him. My best memories are spending time with him doing the things he would have done with a son if he had had one. Butchering, working on trucks, cars, tractors and shoveling coal. He was a one in a million Dad, and after he died my Mother married The best StepDad a kid could get...

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I love all the memories being shared. My father was the "strong silent" type so he didn't talk too much to us kids. But we knew he loved me and my 3 brothers. We lived in the country and when he was home from driving a truck, we would load up and go to the river to go camping. He insisted on putting out 2-3 trot lines (lines with hooks all the way across the river) We always argued who would get to go with Daddy in the middle of the night to run the line and see what we caught...

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honestly i can't remember the last time my father actually did something enjoyable with me and my sister. my parents have been divorced for a few years now. ever since he met his soon to be wife he doesn't come around much. she's a control freak. he's pushed everyone away from him. i can't say i have much of a relationship with my father anymore. i'll be twenty one this year. i have a beautiful eight and a half month old baby girl...

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All of my memories of my dad are great, there are so many I could never stop talking. My dad was a wonderful christian man that loved his family and provided for us as long as he was in this world.

Kimberly,

Thank you. I saw the topic and read your post. I think we have the same Dad. I miss him dearly, and hope I can even be half the parent my Dad was to us, every day I learn to re-appreciate the sacrifices he made for us. Your letter just reminded me, of my family and I have learned too we both are blessed to have had that, we are not the norm.

Sincerely,
Kerry

My memories of my father are the best. He was a wonderful father who raised nine (9)children, worked three jobs at times. He supplied us with so much love even though I could see the tireness in his eyes of working so hard...

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I am in tears and cannot read all the wonderful things about fathers. There are too many great memories with my Dad to mention. I lost my Dad a little over 4 years ago and I miss him every day! He had fought a long, hard battle but in the end had had enough doctors and "poking & prodding". It was really hard to respect his decision and let him go, but we knew we had to...

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What a lovely article and so thought provoking. I loved my Dad so much and he was my anchor. My Mom was a lovely lady but was ill most of my growing up life. So I the responsibility of the house and cooking and I know my Dad appreciated all the work I did outside of all my school work. Every Saturday my Dad would come to my room and ask how I was doing and did I need any money. I had part time jobs so I always had a little money but he would give me a hug and press some cash into my hand...

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Hi
How ironic. I just glanced at my email before leaving work and noticed this email from Mamapedia.com with the subject Memories of my Father". Ironic because..... I just received a call from my Dad who told me he has cancer and it is not good. We will be going to the cancer dr for tests but he is assuming it is Prostate Cancer. My Dad is 82 yrs old and I just lost my Mom on July 19, 2009, not even 6 months ago. In addition, my husband lost his job on December 4, 2009...

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My favorite memory of my Dad are many memories, he also passed away at a very young age 55, 16 yrs. ago and he only new my daughter for 5 years and was never able to meet my son. We would go fishing and crabing and just hang out together ( I was a tomboy) he taught me to play baseball and ride my bike. I miss him dearly. Love You Daddy!

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