Long Ride Home
I’m here today to share yet another parenting fail.
A lot of my chats with the boys (nine, and five years-old) occur in the car to and from school. This was where our first ‘close to the talk’ talk took place awhile back, when they bounced off theories of where babies come from.
So, we’re in the car last week, and Big A starts off…
Big A: Mamma, do you know what ‘oppa’ in the Gangnam Style song means?
Me: No, I’m afraid I don’t.
Big A: I asked Yusei at school because he’s Korean, and he said that oppa means boobs. (It actually does not.)
Me: Ummm…oh, I see. (OMG, he’s already learned that word! Okay, just broach the subject casually…) You know what boobs are, huh?
Big A: Yeah, they’re what girls have instead of man nipples.
Me: (I’m dying here. My son has just described God’s gift to men with such clinical detachment.) Riiiiight…..right. Well, technically, they’re called breasts, and ‘boobs’ is a slang. (I’m giving him lessons in English now…someone stop me…)
Big A: Sorry, Mamma!
Me: (startled) What? What’s there to be sorry about?
Big A: No, I mean, I shouldn’t be talking about your privates. I mean, I would get embarrassed if you did that to me.
All the while, Little a was a silent, but very interested, spectator; looking at me expectantly. I’m starting to seriously sweat now. Why aren’t we at home yet?
Me: (_blabbering_) There’s no reason to be embarrassed talking about our bodies. It’s just natural. Women have breasts because that’s how women’s bodies are made. Breasts serve a purpose, especially when they have babies, because…because that’s how babies get milk.
Big A: REALLY???? Did YOU do it? HOW? How do you get milk from there?
Me: Yes…I….
Little a: Is there a bottle there and then you just squirt it out?
Ahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahhaaaaaa!
They both laughed all the way home. All the while, I’m cringing and hiding behind my seat; trying to take the shortest possible route home to avoid any more questions.
That was one long car ride…
Roshni was born and raised in India, and now lives with her family in California. Her two rambunctious boys – ages 5 and 9 – are the main subjects of her blog, Big A and little a.
