Don't Stop and Stare, Stop and Share

Last week we took our daughter to the doctor to get Botox injections in her legs to reduce the spasticity caused be her cerebral palsy. In addition to the Botox, they also give her some medication to take the edge off, which makes her tired and she looses muscle tone for a while.

This is something she has done every three months, and if she is up to it, we try to go to a great buffet for lunch. She was up to it this time, so we gladly drove there to enjoy eating way too much food. For some unknown reason, this particular day I was noticing a number of people staring at us while we were eating. I am not sure if I was looking around more than normal or if more people were staring, but either way, it got me thinking.

_Why are they staring at us? _

Is it because I am so hot, I am going to be #1 on People Magazine’s next Most Beautiful People list? Probably not, so why are they staring?

Are they staring because my eight year-old daughter is sitting on my lap while we eat? She is eight years old, and as of that doctor appointment, is 4 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 64 pounds. Is it because she is wearing a bib so she doesn’t get food all over her clothes?

Are they staring because she is drooling all over, as the medication she was given has not worn off yet? Is it because I am feeding her, since every time she is hurting she wants me to feed her? Is it because her neon green wheelchair (she picked out the color) is sitting empty next to the table?

I guess when I look at all the reasons they might be staring our way, I can almost give them the benefit of the doubt.

The problem I have with people staring is that our daughter is a person just like they are. She is a citizen of the United States of America just like they are. She is loved by Jesus just like they are. She has two eyes, two ears, one nose and one mouth, just like they do.

When we are out in our town and our daughter’s friends from school see her, they always come over with a smile on their face and say hello. Why do they come over and say hello, instead of standing back and staring? They know she is a person just like they are, and all she wants is to be included and have a conversation with them.

I think people stare because they have not been exposed to people with special needs enough to know they are just like them. If you go back and look at history, people with special needs have been treated like second-class citizens for way too long.

As I am writing this, the following words from the Declaration of Independence just popped into my head:

_“We hold these truths self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” _

That doesn’t say that only people without special needs are created equal; it says that ALL people are created equal. So, next time instead of standing back and staring, why not come over and strike up a conversation?

People with special needs are different, but they are still people. Just like you.

Aaron DeVries lives with his wife and two children in southern Minnesota. He has been actively involved in the disability community in various capacities, including his website, Just a Daddyo.