Blog Series: When I Get Five Minutes

There’s a pile of papers on my desk marked “To Do,” which I’ve been hoping to dig into the moment I get a spare five minutes. This includes things like renewing my car insurance (which expires in a month), filing a medical insurance claim, reassessing my 401(k) contribution—administrative tasks that need to be done. Unfortunately, there are no “spare five minutes” in the day… ever. With the arrival of Flynn, spare time has become a thing of the past.

Someone recently asked me what I do during the day when I’m home with Flynn, and I struggled to come up with a suitable explanation for where the time goes. I would love to say that I’m up at dawn for a quick run before feeding and dressing my son, pumping five bottles of breast milk (you know, for the reserves), cleaning the house and heading out for a lovely neighborhood stroll before whipping up a delicious and healthy dinner. But no. This is not my life.

A real day in the life goes something like this: Wake up in a zombie-like state at 6:30am to change and feed Flynn. Try to put him back down to sleep. Pray he sleeps. Maybe if I’m lucky get one to two more hours of sleep. Finally accept that he’s not going to sleep more and get the baby changed and dressed (I’m still in pajamas). Shuffle to the living room to put Flynn in his bouncer so I can make coffee. Soothe Flynn for 30 minutes while dreaming of coffee. Get Flynn to chill for maybe five minutes while inhaling coffee.

Then the eat, poop, cry, sleep cycle begins, and that takes up most of the afternoon. Sometimes there’s a nap and I’m able to get to a household task, pump some breast milk or maybe check my email (90% of the time, I can only pick one). At around 4pm, I attempt a shower, which usually involves putting my screaming two-month old in his bassinet beside the bathroom while rushing like a mad woman. Hair is brushed (on a good day) and put in a “mom bun.” Makeup pretty much never happens. Then more of the poop, cry, sleep cycle (maybe tummy time if I’m feeling brave) until my husband walks in at 7pm, and I hand the baby off to him, too exhausted to even entertain thoughts of dinner.

This is why this “to do” pile is growing by the day.

I want so badly to incorporate real activities into our daily routine. I want to do walks every day and run errands. I want to be one of those women at the farmer’s market with a baby carrier. I want to have clothes that match and hair that’s styled. I never thought I would miss exercise, but I’m itching to get off the couch already. And yet, it’s so hard to break my own cycle of just getting through the day.

One of these days, I WILL get five minutes and I WILL tackle that to-do pile, but for now I’m just taking it one day at a time.

Jillian Gordon is the Managing Editor of Mamapedia.com. A Los Angeles-based lifestyle writer and editor, her work has appeared in Beauty Launchpad, Nailpro Magazine, Saturday Night Magazine and Westside Today. She is also the former Content Manager of Mom.me. Jillian welcomed her son Flynn in November, 2016.