Baby Talk

The other day, I had a conversation about solids. As in, at what age one introduces things besides breast milk or formula into a baby’s diet. The thing is, this conversation wasn’t with another mom. It was with one of my single girlfriends. I went on for 30-plus minutes about rice cereal versus oats and avocados versus banana. This friend, bless her heart, was kind enough to at least give the impression that she was interested, but it wasn’t until later that I realized it had happened: I’ve developed mom brain.

Most people associate “mom brain” with the general forgetfulness that can accompany sleep deprivation and the new responsibility of caring for a tiny human. But there’s an additional layer of mom brain that is rarely discussed – a desire to only talk about parenting issues no matter who is listening.

Amongst other mothers, all things baby is totally acceptable conversation. When did you hire a nanny? How many hours does your baby nap during the day? How often do you pump? These are all perfectly appropriate topics. Sometimes it feels like there’s an inexhaustible list of things to talk about, and I’ve officially fallen down the rabbit hole. I just can’t not talk about my child

But at some point, especially amongst friends who are not dealing with cradle cap or dream feeds, mommy talk is a little alienating. Back before I had Flynn, I remember visiting a friend who had just had a baby and completely zoning out during a conversation about breast pumps (the irony is this information has now become absolutely vital).

At the time, I just couldn’t relate. It wasn’t until I became pregnant that my thoughts were completely dominated by my baby. Pregnancy is such an amazing/bizarre experience that naturally it was all I could talk about at the time. And then with the birth of my son, I’m faced with an entirely new set of brain-monopolizing concerns. I want to talk about other things like movies or politics or new restaurants to try (I swear I do), but I’m completely preoccupied with how to not screw up my new role as a mother. Mom brain is completely understandable and certainly nothing that requires an apology.

As it stands now, I have a pretty even split of friends who are parents and friends who are not, but all of my friends were completely supportive the moment I became pregnant and continue to offer help whenever possible. Flynn is very lucky to count so many loved ones as honorary aunts and uncles. And while I’m sure my non-parent friends would be kind enough to let me share the woes of cluster feeding or my excitement over my kid rolling over for the first time, I’d like to return the favor and keep the mom shares to a minimum.

Thanks to my lovely mom friends, mom forums and my good pal Google, this is a small sacrifice.



Jillian Gordon is the Managing Editor of Mamapedia.com. A Los Angeles-based lifestyle writer and editor, her work has appeared in Beauty Launchpad, Nailpro Magazine, Saturday Night Magazine and Westside Today. She is also the former Content Manager of Mom.me. Jillian welcomed her son Flynn in November, 2016.