Autism + Awards Day = Emotional Meltdown
School is now over and J received an award this year!
Our school routinely recognizes the top 2 or 3 performers for each subject, perfect attendance and certain physical education competition winners. Rarely are any participation awards handed out and only Kindergarten gives an award to every student. Grades 1st through 6th are included during the elementary program while the high school program makes up 7th-12th grade. It’s a small school so each grade (not class) has around 18 students.
Granted his award is for Physical Fitness participation (a new Phys-Ed award for 4th graders), but it’s still an award and not everyone in his class received one! He didn’t get any awards the previous two years so we’re awfully proud.
I sat in the gym watching all the kids retrieve their awards, their little faces beaming with pride as they heard their name called over the microphone. I noticed the same names being called over and over again for the top performer awards. And I felt a little discouraged . . . and even a bit bitter.
I’m all for recognizing academic excellence, those kids earn the recognition, but what about those kids who worked their butts off but just aren’t that academically or athletically gifted?
Kids placed in the Title or “special” education classes are at a significant disadvantage during these types of events. Their curriculum is altered and many times taught by different teachers altogether. Many times these kids spend more time out of the traditional classroom than with their peers making it virtually impossible for them to compete for the same type of awards the other kids receive. special education students need awards too!
The last couple of years, J has had a melt down in the middle of the gym after the ceremony. He couldn’t understand why so many kids received awards and he worked just as hard as they did – maybe even harder – and didn’t receive any recognition. It’s hard to console a child when they have a valid point! Not to mention his curriculum is taught by different teachers who don’t issue any awards.
These are the heart-breaking moments for a parent of an Autistic child.
Hard work and dedication should be celebrated. Good behavior should be celebrated. Not just superior academics or athletic ability.
While I emphasize to J the hard work is not about recognition nor is it about the test grade or how you place in a race . . . It’s about doing your best! We discuss while it IS nice to receive an award (and okay to want an award), it’s not a personal statement against him if he doesn’t get any awards. I assure him, we still love him and his teachers and classmates will still like him . . . no matter what!
Needless to say, this year, we didn’t have a meltdown over awards day!
How does your school recognize achievements?
Jenn is a lady of many talents. Awesome Mom. Trucker’s Wife. Minnesota transplant. Crafting Diva. Home Cook. Frugal Shopper. Web Design Student. Lousy Housekeeper. Read more about her at Frugal Front Porch
