Another Baby?

I was browsing around when I came across this really interesting question. This one really hit home for me and I could relate in a few ways. I thought not only would I offer up my 2 cents on this subject and let her know that she’s not alone in a sense, but figured it would be a good thing to get posted here as well.

Hello. My husband and I are thinking of trying for baby #2 in 2010. We are looking for a bigger place to live and saving up some money so we can be ready. We are struggling a bit financially in this economy, so any tips to get ready in this way would be appreciated.

I have some weird concerns. I have a 21 mos old daughter right now that is the love of my life. I am afraid that I will not even be able to love a second child as much. Is that awful? I am afraid I’ll favor my little girl. Yikes!

Also, I HATED being pregnant and the first year of a having a newborn I did not really enjoy- at all. The sleep deprivation, the sore nipples, the no napping, the spitting up, etc, etc.

I always hear that mom’s forget and can’t wait to have a second one. Really? What’s wrong with me? I certainly remember the horrible pregnancy, the PPD, the colicky baby of non-stop crying for weeks on end, the SLEEP issues. ARGH! Of course it was all worth it – and my daughter makes me and my husband so VERY, VERY happy.

Now my situation right of the bat is different because it’s been 5 years this November since Oj’s been in this little baby stage, but I knew how she was feeling. I’ve been going back and forth on this situation myself with Jeff. Since having Owen, we’ve never been that financially set for various reasons. Though I think if you’re not a celebrity or something like that, you really are not ever really financially set for a child. But tips wise, I searched Google and found a various list of links. I hope you can find some to help you.

I come from a family where each of my grandma’s children had about 3 kids a piece, and in our house favoritism was well shown as my middle sibling was always treated better than my younger brother or myself in a variety of ways. So this is something that really makes me wanting another baby a struggle. I don’t want to have things be the same way they were with my siblings and mother growing up. I think that this is something that you won’t be able to know how to deal with until you have the baby. I know I’ve seen my aunt come home and live with having another baby and later on another baby again and she has shown me that your heart is able to hold so much more than you realize. Your first baby is suppose to be your entire world. He/she is the first baby, it’s a new experience and it becomes something that takes over your whole world and changes how you see things.

From what I’ve seen, the more children you have after your first are not going to take away from your first baby unless you let it. It might be a struggle at first, but you’ll soon realize that you had nothing to be worried about with how having a second baby affects how you feel for your first child. I think it’s normal for any good mother to worry about this and I can’t say I’ve met one who hasn’t. Your mothering instincts will kick in harder and you’ll realize you had nothing to worry about.

I can relate to the hating pregnancy and stuff. I had a pretty rough pregnancy myself. I couldn’t handle any dairy (hard because pre-pregnancy I could drink a gallon of milk myself and now I can’t stomach it at all). Also I spent the first 4-5 months of my pregnancy doing nothing but sleeping and throwing up. I lost a ton of weight and still shocked I was able to carry a healthy baby to full term. I also developed PPD with Owen, and it was tough to handle without realizing what it was really. Though I did get luck and Owen was a pretty good baby. Didn’t cry to much and preferred to be on his own mostly. My only advice in all of this is that every pregnancy is different and so are each and every baby. Of course there is no crystal ball to be able to tell what your next pregnancy/baby will be like because that would take the ‘fun’ out of lol.

I say that if you two are really ready to start trying, go for it. All of the questions seemed normal concerns that any mother would have. It’s a big decision and changes every ones lives. It’s normal to have doubts and concerns. Good luck with your choice.

Brandi is a stay at home mother that likes to blog, write, take photos and spend time with her family."