My oldest got used to taking naps in his carseat, and then refused to nap when I finally started putting him down for naps in his crib (although he had no trouble sleeping in his crib at night). I think he was just used to being snuggled by the car seat, so I put one of the carseat headrests in the crib for him to snuggle his cheek against, and then I rolled up baby blankets and tucked them tight up against him from his armpits down. They did help to soothe him in the wide open crib, but I also had to just let him cry it out. There were some days when he would cry for the whole hour, but some days he would cry for 45 minutes then only sleep for 30, but it was a start. It took about two months to help him recover from sleep deprivation and to get him to go down for naps in his crib without any trouble. I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, and I wish I had read that book while still pregnant with my eldest. That way I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did. I was able to use what I had learned from the book with my second son, and we have never had any real trouble with him sleeping anywhere. Good luck!
s
Hi Stephanie,
How? I hope all is well. Keep trying it will get easy. Maybe do couple minutes while he's up. Playing some games with him. Then take him out. Then time a little longer and play so he can get to be at peace with his new surrounding. Don't give up.
Toriana
The bedtime routine is key with my baby. I started by giving her a bottle or nursing her in her room with just a nightlight on. I let her drift off to sleep in my arms and then placed her in her crib. After a few successful nights of that, I put her in her crib while she was still awake but drowsy (after a bottle) and stood there patting her bottom and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. NOTE: This step takes alot of patience! After we did that for a week or so, I would give her a bottle and put her directly to bed with only a kiss goodnight. She would kind of fuss for a minute or so, but then she would fall asleep. Now, I put her in be after her bottle and she curls right up an, I swear, falls asleep before I reach the door.
A side note...during this "training" process, when she would wake in the middle of the night, I would have to repeat these steps.
I hope this helps!
We are in the middle of this process - our baby girl is 2 months old. I read the Healthy Sleep Habits book. It gave good advice about the sleep window but it is definitely pro-CIO and I had some other problems with it, I won't go into... I don't think CIO destroys people for life but I'm not crazy about it as a mama & want to try other solutions. I liked the book Sleeping Through the Night better.
At first, she hated being on her back anywhere. She would only sleep in her swing or with me on my boob (and would startle awake if I moved at all - so you can see why we need to phase out co-sleeping - so that I can be rested and sane after going back to work). However, I cannot let a baby this young cry without intervening for anymore than 5 minutes (or less if the cries are escalating).
So here's the drill: I breastfeed her, check her diaper, and swaddle her before putting her down. We started putting her down for naps, and then moved on to putting her down for the night. The key is to watch for the sleep window, whenever that happens (the schedule apparently comes FROM their natural rhythms) - don't miss the window - we look for the yawn, the tired lidded eyes blinking slowly - then rock a little with her over the shoulder while singing, then rock a little holding on her back - while eyes are still open but sleepy. That's all the routine part. Then into her crib, in this elaborate setup: first years cosleeper that we had had in our bed (that she hated sleeping in the whole first 2 months, even though we were right there), sleep positioners at her sides, used nursing pads in the corners so she can smell her mama, putting her either on her back or alternating sides, then turn on the homedics sound machine on rain. Make sure both cats are out of the room, close door.
The REM cycle is 45 minutes. Sometimes she wakes at 45 minutes and cries very halfheartedly for less than 2 minutes and goes back to sleep - that much CIO I can live with. If she wakes anytime after 2 hours, I go to her and check the diaper, then bring her to nurse in side-lying position and sleep with me the rest of the night. The key is to do a routine and start in the crib, get through a few REM cycles with some self-soothing, and over time that first block in the crib will get longer and longer until it's morning. That's the theory, don't know if it will work... so far we have been getting longer and longer blocks but her stomach is still so small that I think the maximum for now is 4 hours. Still, 4 hours of sound sleep for me, followed by 4 hours of less-sound sleep is better than 8 hours of less-sound sleep was. Hope this combination of techniques is helpful. At first I thought there was no middle ground between CIO (where the baby's emotional needs for security are not met) and attachment parenting (where the parents' physical needs for sound blocks of sleep at night are not met), but now I'm starting to think there may be a middle ground possible. Good luck.
Read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantely (sp?) It saved us and our daughter. Though adjusting to the crib was fine, the sleeping through the night was our problem. Don't give up, if you're into the family bed idea, try that, your little one wants some love and attention. Keep a good routine going and keep trying, don't give up, he'll figure it out soon enough. Make sure you don't put him down asleep, but either awake or at least drowsy, this way he'll figure out how to put himself back to sleep, another mistake we made with our first. Good luck, read the book, I promise it will be the BEST thing you have read and it will help, promise!!
Angela
I'm sure you've by now gotten a surfeit of advice on how to accomplish the goal of weaning him to a crib. In spite of all those who will surely say he has to sleep in his crib and he's safer in his crib, I'll share the following:
I've been cosleeping with my family since my oldest was born, 11 years. My parents coslept with me and my two younger sisters as well. I don't think any of us is extremely maladjusted pyschologically as a result- we're all married with kids! And we certainly survived the experience. Furthermore cosleeping is the norm in many countries- Japan for instance.
James McKenna is a researcher at the University of Notre Dame who has done and is doing extensive research on infant sleep and mother-infant sleep. Google the web for his name and you will find information on safe cosleeping and testimonies from the thousands of families who cosleep and have coslept successfully. Crib manufacturers are not the only infant safety experts out there!! Mothers and fathers have been keeping their babies safe at night for generations.
My 11 year old and 8 year old now sleep in their own room in their own beds. My 5 year old (who has special needs, he is in a wheelchair full time) is in transition to his own bed, and our 3 yo and 14 mo still sleep with us. If I weaned early, I might have already gotten them into their own beds, but since they are still nursing I find it easiest and most comfortable for me to have them right there. I am lucky to be a good sleeper and have good sleepers, they rarely disturb me. My sister, who has 3 kids, has had to make creative arrangements to cosleep successfully, as she and they are lighter sleepers and tend to disturb each other. Still in any situation there is a solution if you are willing to think outside the box. Or in this case, outside the crib!
Good luck with it!
m
Do you put him in there while he is awake?
I feel your pain. My 7 month old finally started sleeping in her crib last weekend. She still wakes up and I go to her room pat her on her back and she falls asleep again. She wakes up about 3 times still. She slept w/ me for 7 months. She also slept in her swing. On super nanny this family had the same problem. And I did what she advised. She said when they wake up in there crib pat her on her back and say one thing. I always say "It's okay baby mamas right here", then the next time they wake up she says pat baby on back and don't say anything. I didn't think it would work. I let my baby fall asleep w/ me and me or her dad will carry her upstairs to her crib she will sleep for about 2 hrs. wake up then I pat her on her back and play her music and she falls back asleep. She would sleep another 3 hrs wakes up and I give her a bottle (I know thats not good to do) and then she wakes up sometimes around 3-3:30 a.m. I do get up a lot but she's sleeping in her crib and its a start. Its hard on me b/c I do go to work. I work in a Dr. office ,I'm a nurse, so I do get tired and sleepy. I'm glad she is starting to sleep in her crib. I'm not gonna lie I do miss her sleeping beside me.
Stephanie it may be very helpful to you and your son if you place a t-shirt that you have worn all day in the crib with him at night. It may soothe him to have your scent near him when he is trying to fall asleep. Be sure to leave to t-shirt in crib until he forms a better sleep pattern. It may also be necessary to change out the t-shirt once a week to ensure that your scent is present. I have a 6 year old son and a 3 year old daughter & it worked quite well for both of them. Be patient and consistent. Good luck to you and your entire family.
When my son (now 5 1/2 yrs.) was a baby I read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and it had some great ideas in it. First I would let him play in his crib while I was nearby so he was used to it. Then I started putting him in his crib for naps (I would rock him to sleep, then gently lay him in the crib.) Also, if he wakes up crying I never talk to him or make a noise, I just lay him back down, rub his back, maybe find the pacifier for him, but the important thing is not to talk to him. It makes a lot more sense when you read the book and see the other suggestions as well. Good Luck!
Hi, I don't know if this will work for you, but it did for me. I talked to the doctor and they suggested the cry it out method. Well, like you, I could not stand that and my child appeared to be suffereing. I did my own thing. I started rocking my daughter to sleep. When she was really good and asleep, I would lay her down in her crib. It didn't matter if she only slept and hour in there or four hours, as long as she knew that it was her bed. See, I think you have to start them out small and let them know you will be there when they need you. It has been working for us and there are many, many nights when she will sleep for 8-10 hours or more in her crib. Hope this helps, good luck to you. I know it is hard, I have been there. There is also another solution that worked for a friend of mine. She bought a vibrating mattress that you turned on and it would stay on for like twenty minutes. She says it worked for her, but I did not have the money to afford that mattress.
Putting my boy in his zipadee-zip helped us so much with the this transition! It kept him so snuggled that he started sleeping longer right away!