I agree with Kat D. Go to the wedding. Maybe your relationship with your step-siblings is not idea, but that doesn't mean it can never get better. Go to the wedding with your brother(s), see your dad, have fun! You never know, your step-siblings might really be touched by the gesture and be moved to reach out to you.
Please don't take the miscommunication personally. Maybe someone dropped the ball, maybe someone thought it was someone else's responsibility, maybe they had budget limitations, who knows. More than likely it has nothing to do with you or your children specifically.
Go to the wedding. Have fun and leave happy knowing that you did something positive for your family.
take the high road on this and go to the wedding. you say the boys were 8 and 10 years younger than you. if they are old enough to get married then some time has passed. you need to let it go and I say good for that step mom who tried to blend a family. its not an easy thing to do.
Well.......we never go to weddings if our kids aren't invited. So I would send a gift but not go OR ask if I could bring my kids.
But if you and your husband go to other weddings without your kids, then I think you should go. You don't have to stay for the whole thing. But it would be nice to show up. ALTHOUGH, in this case, if everyone else (or most people) received an actual INVITATION, then I suggest skipping it.
I could really go either way on this, I"m more of an introvert and don't love occasions like this so If it were me I would probably just not go.
Would your dad care or was this just an obligation invite??
I'm confused about the neices, these are your biological brothers kids so they must have some relationship with the step brother??? Weird that you would have some kids in the wedding and totally NOT invite the other. maybe i'm readin that wrong.
Go with your brothers and support you dad. Many people prefer NOT to have children and their wedding or reception. I have catered for years and seen some real disasters caused by children, who were not looked after because their parents were socializing with adult family and friends. You should not take offense, it's someone else's special day and an opportunity for you and your brother's to spend some time together.
Example: The bride and groom gave out little bottles of bubbles as one of their favors. While they were on the dance floor a little girl took her bubbles out their and spilled them all over the floor. The bride slipped and fortunately was not hurt. The child's parents did not remove her from the dance floor...so I did and got a standing ovation.
For those that say "we never" go to wedding if our kids aren't welcome....I say I bet you went at least one and it was probably you own wedding.....How soon we forget!
I wouldn't take offense. Kids get extremely bored at things like this. I would be totally glad to have an evening to myself and my hubby.
You're just offended because she is letting part of the bridal party attend the wedding and not any other kids.
I really dislike going to activities where it is of an adult nature and people bring their kids. It's just rude to have to yell over kids running around and screaming and playing at an activity where it's more formal. Even activities at church where parents just let them run around and play. We have even had kids get the basketballs out of the sports closet and start bouncing balls around on the cultural hall floor and that is just nerve racking when you are trying to socialize. Kids cannot sit for hours and hours quietly and not be kids. Leave the kids with a babysitter and enjoy an evening out.
I understand your offense, but unfortunately, it's their wedding and they can invite who they want. You could use it as a nice time to spend with your brothers -- I went to a cousin's wedding a few years back with mine and we had a blast (my husband and SIL stayed home). Ultimately, it really comes down to how you really feel about them. It may also just come down to the fact that you need to get away. =)
It sounds like "kids or no kids" was not clear in the invitation. So ask. A quick email or a phone call: "It was unclear in the invitation whether or not you want kids at the wedding, or if its an adults-only event. Should we leave our kids at home or bring them?"
It's too bad that they weren't able to be more clear, but I'm sure there was no malicious intent. If entirely possible that they want an adults-only event AND flower girls - thus, the nieces are "invited" - not as guests, really, but as part of the "wedding package."
I am VERY close w/ all my nieces and nephews AND I was also in 10 weddings prior to my own... let me tell you something kids should not go to weddings. I've seen it all....the least of which is they run around, take the cameras off the tables and take random unfocused shots, have melt downs, etc. etc.
I would go with my brother an have a fun 'adult' time.
Kids or no kids, like the relatives or not, it's family and you should go. We are actually in a similar situation with my family. My husband's brother is getting married next month. Their dad got remarried (long after a long realization that their mother was never going to be able to recover from an awful car accident) and their stepmom has two kids. One of her kids just got remarried two weeks ago and we were all there. My brother in law (and soon to be sister in law) just found out last week that her two kids (and the one new spouse) are not coming, nor did they bother to rsvp; My father in law called to them and apologize. Now, I'm not getting the information firsthand but I do know that this devastated the soon to be sister in law and my husband and I are perplexed. When it's family, regardless of how you feel about each other or if you usually work weekends or whatever else could get in the way, you push all your less than excited feelings aside and be there for special events. It's not just for your relationship with the step siblings, it's for your parents and step parents, too.
If it's important to your dad that you and your siblings go, then leave the kids at home, go with your brother(s).
If the only children attending the wedding are IN the wedding, then it is definitely not a slight against you.
However, if you go to the wedding and there are other children there, not just the ones in it, then you have every right to seek out your dad and let him know how you feel.
I have gotten invitations to wedding with just "Mr. and Mrs." on the inner envelope (where they're supposed to put the names of EVERYONE invited at that address - kids incl.) and R.S.V.P.'d yes. Only to show up and have the B&G ask where my kids are. I always say "Oh, were they invited? Only my and hubby's names were on the invite."
Sounds like your nieces are invited, not out of favoritism, but because of a need for flower girls; so I don't think I would take offense at that.
If you have a good relationship with your dad and you think HE would like for you to be at the wedding, then maybe you should attend for his sake. But if you have serious reasons for disliking the groom that would actually cause you to be upset by being in his presence then I don't think you should be expected to attend.
As a bride who also opted for no kids I would respect their wishes and not put up a fuss about it. The two flower girls may just be there for the ceramony and the dinner and than be leaving. I opted for no children for a number of reasons, my biggest I just don't believe that an environment with adult drinking is appropriate for children.... especially if it is thier parents!! I wanted my family and friends to be able to have a fun night out and not have to worry about thier kids and I did not want to spend my wedding night supervising everyones kids, which is how it usually goes. Weddings are expensive and to add on everyones children can be a bit much too. Go to the wedding with your brothers and enjoy yourself.