Avoiding Holiday Stress: Insights and Practical Strategies

Discover practical strategies to manage holiday stress, particularly for women. Learn to lower expectations, combat social media pressures, enjoy virtual gatherings, and find joy in meaningful moments this holiday season.

Introduction

The holidays can be a time of joy, love, and connection, but they often come with heightened stress. This reality was first highlighted in a 2006 APA study on holiday stress, which found that women, in particular, experience elevated pressure during the season (Greenberg & Berktold, 2006). More recently, the 2023 APA Holiday Stress Survey has reinforced these findings while offering updated insights into how stress manifests and how individuals cope (American Psychological Association, 2023).This blog summarizes the key findings, nests them a bit more in the current times, and provides actionable strategies to help women navigate the holidays with less stress.

Why the Holidays Are Stressful for Many

1. Women Face Heightened Stress Due to Responsibilities
Women continue to report higher stress levels during the holidays compared to men. While the 2006 study found that 44% of women experienced increased stress (compared to 31% of men), the 2023 APA Survey reports that 41% of adults overall feel their stress increases during the holiday season (American Psychological Association, 2023; Greenberg & Berktold, 2006). Women remain more likely to take on labor-intensive tasks like cooking, cleaning, and organizing gatherings.

2. Financial Strain Intensifies Stress
Financial concerns remain a leading source of holiday stress. In the 2006 study, 67% of participants cited financial worries as a major challenge (Greenberg & Berktold, 2006). According to the 2023 APA Survey, this trend persists, with 58% of respondents highlighting financial strain as a stressor. Notably:

• 42% struggle with “not having enough money to spend.”
• 38% cite concerns about “spending too much” (American Psychological Association, 2023).

The commercialization of the holidays amplifies these pressures, making budgeting and financial planning even more critical.

3. Emotional Contrasts: Joy vs. Stress
The duality of holiday emotions continues to resonate. In 2006, 78% of respondents reported feeling happiness during the holidays, while 61% also described feeling stress (Greenberg & Berktold, 2006). The 2023 data shows a similar contrast:

Yet, 63% found the season stressful, overwhelming, or exhausting (American Psychological Association, 2023).

80% described the holidays with positive terms such as “fun” (50%) and “joyous” (49%).

These conflicting feelings reflect the complex nature of the holiday experience.

4. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms Are Common
In 2006, unhealthy habits like comfort eating and alcohol consumption were prevalent during the holidays, with 41% of women turning to food for emotional relief (Greenberg & Berktold, 2006). By 2023, the use of negative coping mechanisms persists:

• 19% of respondents isolate themselves to cope.
• 12% rely on substances like alcohol, nicotine, or other substances for stress relief (American Psychological Association, 2023).

These trends highlight the ongoing need for healthier stress management strategies.

5. The Impact of Social Media on Holiday Stress
Social media has become an integral part of modern holiday experiences, but it often adds to the stress. Platforms like Instagram, Pinterest, and TikTok showcase curated posts of elaborate meals, perfect decorations, and expensive gifts, creating unrealistic expectations. This comparison culture can make people feel inadequate or overwhelmed, and the constant barrage of holiday advertisements and promotional content can pressure individuals into overspending.

6. Virtual Gatherings: Staying Connected While Reducing Stress

With families increasingly spread across states and countries, virtual gatherings have become a common holiday tradition. While these events reduce the logistical challenges of in-person gatherings, they introduce their own stressors, such as technology issues or the difficulty of recreating intimacy online. However, virtual celebrations also bring opportunities for inclusion and convenience, offering a way for families to stay connected.

Practical Strategies to Make the Holidays Less Stressful

1. Let Go of Perfection
It’s okay to lower expectations and aim for “good enough” instead of perfect. Many people fall into the trap of striving for an idealized version of the holidays. Focus instead on meaningful connections and experiences rather than picture-perfect decorations or elaborate meals.

2. Share Responsibilities
Delegate tasks to family members, whether it’s cooking, shopping, or decorating. Children can help with wrapping gifts or setting the table, and guests can contribute dishes for a potluck-style meal. Remember, the holidays are a family effort, not a solo project.

3. Set Realistic Financial Goals
To alleviate financial stress, create a clear holiday budget and stick to it. Thoughtful, low-cost gifts or experiences—like homemade treats or a family game night—can be more memorable than expensive purchases. The study found that financial concerns were a top stressor, with 67% of lower middle-income respondents citing them as a major challenge.

4. Explore Healthier Coping Mechanisms
While comfort eating and sedentary activities are common, consider more productive ways to manage stress:

• Physical Activity: A brisk walk or short exercise session can reduce stress and boost mood.
• Mindfulness and Meditation: Set aside a few minutes daily for mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or meditation.
• Creative Outlets: Engage in crafts, baking, or decorating as a way to channel stress into something constructive.
• Spiritual Practices: The study showed that attending religious services or prayer were effective for stress relief, with 68% reporting increased participation in such activities during the holidays.

5. Be Present and Make Memories
Focus on being in the moment and finding joy in small, meaningful experiences. Whether it’s decorating cookies with your children, laughing with friends, or pausing to admire holiday lights, creating positive memories can help shift the focus from stress to connection. Recognize that these moments, not perfection, are what make the holidays truly special.

6. Combat Social Media-Induced Stress

• Limit Exposure: Reduce time spent scrolling through social media, especially during peak holiday season. Use app timers or take short digital detoxes to focus on your own experience.
• Be Intentional: Instead of passively consuming content, use social media intentionally to gather simple, actionable ideas or connect with loved ones.
• Practice Gratitude: Reflect on what makes your holidays meaningful instead of comparing them to others’ curated experiences.
• Shift the Focus: Remember that most social media content is staged and doesn’t reflect reality. Find joy in your authentic holiday moments.

7. Make Virtual Gatherings Meaningful

• Simplify the Setup: Use accessible platforms like Zoom or FaceTime and provide participants with clear instructions.
• Create Shared Experiences: Plan a fun activity everyone can join, like decorating cookies together or playing virtual games.
• Focus on Connection: Embrace the opportunity to include loved ones who might not otherwise attend in-person celebrations.

Conclusion

While the holidays offer opportunities for joy and connection, they also come with increased stress—especially for women. Both the 2006 APA study and the 2023 APA Holiday Stress Survey underscore the need to acknowledge these challenges and take actionable steps to address them (Greenberg & Berktold, 2006; American Psychological Association, 2023).

Modern challenges like the influence of social media and the rise of virtual gatherings bring new dimensions to holiday stress, but they also present opportunities for connection and creativity. Combat the pressures of social media by limiting exposure and focusing on gratitude, and make virtual gatherings meaningful by prioritizing shared moments.

By lowering expectations, sharing responsibilities, prioritizing self-care, and finding joy in the moment, you can transform holiday stress into an opportunity for connection, joy, and personal growth. Remember, the spirit of the season lies in the moments we share and the memories we create—not in perfection.

Citations

American Psychological Association. (2023, December). 2023 Holiday Stress Survey Data Topline. APA.

Greenberg, A., & Berktold, J. (2006, December). Holiday Stress. Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research. Published on APA.org.

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Written by Lisa J Meier, PhD with support from ChatGPT. Updated 12/21/2024