We had our kids in private schools all through our son's elementary years. And our daughter through 2nd grade. This is the second year they have been in public schools. They both had excellent teachers through all their years in private schools.. except my son's 2nd grade teacher. Who was not by any means bad, she was just absent a lot. A LOT. And having a sub is just not the same. (I felt for her though, her husband had some serious health problems happen and she did what she had to do.)
My daughter's teacher last year was retiring at the end of the year (3rd grade) and she was nice and adequate, but didn't go beyond. Since my daughter was evaluated and given the option to participate in a 1-day a week pull-out program for GandT, I didn't worry about it too much. This year, 4th grade, she has an outstanding teacher, who is the lead for 4th grade. She really goes beyond. But also, in 4th grade the kids have a lot of new opportunities. She was encouraged by her G/T teacher to try out for something called Helen Ruffin Reading Bowl (which is a team that reads, asks/answers questions about a list of books in competition), which she made. They meet one day a month after school. She was recommended by her teacher to audition for the news team. Which is headed up by the media center specialist who also does the reading bowl team. I will be stunned if she is not selected for the team. (they put together a morning announcements news show including video/audio/powerpoints/reading script and ad libbing). I don't know anything about the 5th grade teachers next year. But I feel sure that she will be fine no matter where she is placed. She has a Lot of other learning outlets. And it seems that once the school realized her potential/talents, they placed her in the class where she will be challenged and still excel. Or maybe she/we just got lucky. I dont know.
My son, on the other hand, is at the middle school. Last year he had one teacher/subject that was blah. One teacher he adored. And one teacher that he was for all intents and purposes, terrified to approach. She was in it for the $ and her career, was working on her doctorate after hours, was routinely absent and had no patience with the students. She expected the 6th graders to have the maturity of college kids. Puh-lease!
This year, he has another so-so teacher (same subject as last year's), and another one he thinks is great (same subject as last year's) and one that I think is fabulous! He likes him, too, but doesn't glow when he talks about that class, lol. A lot of his feelings for his classes coincide with the subjects he likes... but not all. He likes Science, not ga-ga, but he likes it. His Science last year was the worst. This year... VERY good teacher who really cares about the kids. His motto is 2 rules: 1) Leave class knowing/having learned at LEAST ONE thing you didn't know 2) have fun while learning it.
I struggled last year with what to do about his science teacher. I concluded, probably mistakenly, that it was something he needed to learn to deal with: people with authority who don't do the "right/proper" thing or treat them nicely, or who are unapproachable, or who are snappy. You get that in life. You have to know how to deal with it. You can only control you.
But, that was 6th grade, and only for one class period-- not 3rd grade and all day long.
It was frustrating to see him learn to despise a subject that he has always enjoyed previously, though. Thankfully, he has a great teacher this year, and his interest in the subject is coming back.
I agree that when a teacher is tired of it, they should find another line of work. A great teacher can inspire a student to great and wonderful things. A poor one can drain the love of learning right out of them.
How does your son deal with his teacher? Does he refrain from asking questions he SHOULD be asking, because he is afraid? Would he have asked those questions of his 2nd grade teacher without hesitation? I will say this, though. 3rd grade is a difficult transition. Kids have to read to learn. Rather than still be learning to read. Same with math. They can't still be learning how to add and subtract simple numbers... they are working on higher math and need to KNOW those basics already. So there is a lot going on that is different than previous years.
For us, as long as my child is mastering the material, is being challenged, and isn't being unfairly treated (disciplined unnecessarily, called out b/c the teacher just doesn't like them or something, etc), and seems to be handling it ok, then I'd let it ride. I may get slammed for saying that. But, often, teachers have to be strict earlier in the year to gain the respect and set the behavior standard for the class. Later in the year, she might relax a bit. Or maybe there is something going on with her that you are unaware of (as it should be?). We all have our crosses to bear and our struggles. You just never know...
And, yes, kids should be encouraged to ask questions if they don't understand something. I have always told my son that over and over. If you don't understand... ASK. There are probably 5 other people sitting there wondering the same thing. And even if you are the only one who didn't "get it" the first time, or didn't hear it clearly, the teacher can't make adjustments to the lesson, or repeat herself, or do ANYthing, unless she knows there is an issue. It is up to HIM if he has an issue, to say something.
Unless your son's teacher responds to questions by the students in an inappropriate way, then I don't know that there is much you can say... that she "projects" an attitude of 'don't ask me anything' ?? That just won't fly.