Wwyd? - Farmington,NM

I would take the kids home personally and introduce myself to their parents.

I would let them know that their kids are welcome to my home from a set time to a set time. And you will send them home - at that time. PERIOD.

If they don't answer the door? I think my first call would be to CPS or the police and state - these kids have been at my home since 0900 this morning (or whatever time they got here). I don't know if their parents know where they are - I've knocked on the door and it appears that no one is home. How do you want me to handle this? I would not call 911 - I would call the non-emergency number.

Tell the kids point blank - if you want to play in my home. these are my rules. If you cannot follow my rules, you will have to leave. And STICK to it.

I would become a second mom to them, despite the hassle. Been there, done that.

But as others have said, I would also go introduce myself to the parents, especially because I would want to know just how much of a second mom I needed to be.

I would walk down to their house and say hi, we haven't met, I'm B.. Your sons sure like hanging out with us so I thought we should meet.

Problem solved. :)

Or you can keep letting it get to you.

Wow! Some of these answers...all I can say is Holy Overeact Batman!

Stop by, name & phone number in hand....
Say something along the lines of: "Hi, im soandso. Timmy and Mary have been aty house a few times. When it's time for them to come home, would you prefer I call you to come pick them up, or are you ok with them walking back on their own? Here's my number if you need to get in touch and maybe I should have yours as well?"

As for the eating...this is our first year with a pool and we seem to always have 1 or 2 or 3 extra for lunch and dinner...I don't mind.

Do you have kids the same age?

I have no problem saying, "it's getting late-time for a shower-time to wrap it up-the visits over now, etc. You're not obligated to let them stay all day.

I know you feel badly about the kids being so neglected, but you can very easily say to them... "I'm sorry, but you can't come over today."

Well, sure they'll stay at your house all evening "unless you send them home." They're only 5 and 7. It's your house. Don't send them home -- walk them home and meet the family. I won't say "the parents" because I wonder if maybe they are in the care of other family members? They may be living with an overwhelmed grandparent or other relative. You need to meet the parents and at the same time establish with the kids that they cannot come unless you ask them into your house or yard. I feel bad for them too but as someone posted -- if something happens to them, you won't even know their home phone number to call anyone, much less a cell number for parents who may be out!

Instead of just sending them home when they are done playing (however long you feel comfortable letting them stay... or if you don't want them to play at all, you can do it immediately) I would walk them home... Take the initiative yourself to meet their parents... Perhaps they are unaware that their children are actually in your home, and assume they are just entertaining themselves outside. Although, that is some pretty shoddy parenting if their children can, at that age, be gone for so long without any checking in...

When you meet the parents, you can mention to them that while you 'enjoyed' the company of the children, you really can't be taking care of them all the time...

I would also walk them home if they get hurt... (Maybe tuck a band-aid in their pocket, just in case they actually don't have one at home...) Let the mom know child is hurt, and let her deal with it.

You are making it too easy for the parents to be so lazy! Why should they bother to take care of their kids if someone else is willing to do it for free?

Plus... if you meet the parents, you can get a better handle on the situation... You will be able to judge whether the parents have something going on (not an excuse for neglecting your kids... but makes it more understandable and easier to swallow...) or if they are just being lazy bums. If they are simply being negligent, you can start documenting (take pictures of them playing in the street, note the times the children are left unsupervised) and get child services involved if need be.

ETA... The biggest thing that worries me is that the parents don't seem to care that their children are 'missing' or where they are... Heck, if they got kidnapped, when would the parents even realize? When they didn't show up at home by midnight? Seriously, if my FIVE and SEVEN year olds were missing for even an hour, and I didn't even know where they were, I would have the neighborhood and/or police department searching for them! Not to mention that YOU don't know the parents, yet their children are at your house all day... Pretty darn lucky that you aren't a pedophile or someone else who means them harm!

I usually feel its my job to decide when it's time for the kids to go home and I send them home. When I had a baby napping I made the older kids play outside, no matter what the weather and this was Texas, gave em cold drinks on hot days thats all.

I would set some boundaries. The little girl across the street never seems to know when to go home. I don't know if her parents ever give her a time to be home, but when I've had enough, I simply tell her it's time to go. She said to me once "my mom didn't say I had to go home at this time" to which I responded "But I did. X will see you tomorrow."

As for the hunger, you never know about people's income so if the kids are hungry I would feed them, if you can afford to.

You have to meet the parents. I would really hate for something to happen to the children on your property or even just in the neighborhood or in front of your house and their parents decide to rain hell on you and whomever else they think is watching the children for "allowing" them to get hurt. Boundaries and expectations need to be discussed, especially if this family does need some sort of legitimate help (disabled mom? elderly grandma supposed to be babysitting but can't keep track of the kids?). I would want to know their situation and establish politely some boundaries to help limit your liability.

Its not clear on if they come over to play with your kids or do you only have the baby? You are not a babysitting service. I would just walk down with the kids to their house and knock on the door. I would introduce myself by saying something like, "We live up the street and your kids have been coming over so I wanted to meet you." Then just chat with them and see what's up. Do they work? Are they home? And if you don't want them over anymore, just say so. Open the door and say, "you can't come over today, sorry". Or if they are over playing with your kids and its time to eat or its getting late, just say, "its time for you to go home now" and walk them home. I would not just send them out the door on their own, especially if its dark out. Maybe the parent(s) will figure it out after you knock on their door enough. And frankly, if you knock and they don't answer, I would call the cops. Good luck!!!

I always just told kids to go home when my kids and I were not into it, nothing wrong with telling them to go home.

Updated

I always just told kids to go home when my kids and I were not into it, nothing wrong with telling them to go home.

I do believe I would walk down and meet the parents.

I would also tell them no they can't come in the baby is asleep.

Then if they stay in the yard or make noise I'd tell them they need to go home and come back later.

My grand kids have told lots of people things to get what they want. That doesn't mean they're true...lol.

So when you say "at your house" do you mean playing out front or actually playing in your house?
Either way you simply say, okay, it's been fun but it's time for you to go home now. Sounds like they have no boundaries, and it sounds like you don't either! You're the adult, so you call the shots, especially on your own property.
I would probably walk down and introduce myself to the parents as well. It's always a good idea to know exactly who's kids your dealing with. Even if they don't make the effort (which is sad and strange) at least YOU can make the effort, I'd probably say something like, oh, just want you to know that little Bobby and Susie have been spending a lot of time down our way, just thought you'd like to know, my name's so and so and we live at x address.
As far as them always being hungry, I know plenty of very well fed kids who are like that. Some kids just like to see what they can get at other peoples' houses, and some of them can be pretty blunt about it. Again, set boundaries, and only share what you are willing and comfortable sharing.
You'll have a better idea of the real situation after you meet the parents :)

We had this issue when we moved into our new neighborhod. Very affluent neighborhood, so I didn't feel like the issue was poverty or true neglect, just a "get out of my hair" mentality by the parents.
We found the girls stealing sodas out of our garage fridge, being rude to our younger children when playing with the older ones, and just generaly having a lack of respect for our rules (like, no coming in the house).
We finally started saying things like, "if you are thirsty, or need to use the restroom, please walk down to your house and do those things, and then feel free to come back." This began working. We also would just tell the girls that our daughter couldn't play when they would come down to the house. They haven't really been around much this summer as opposed to last.

If you feel the children in question are being neglected or underfed, by all means, this is a different situation. But if its just a lack of involved parents, do what you can to make the parents become aware of their lack of regard.

I would tell them to go home after an hour, no matter if we are still outside or not. I love having kids over but I'm also not a pushover AND I refuse to be responsible for unsupervised children, especially on my property.

I think you need to set your own limits and enforce them. They may have bad parents, but that doesn't mean you get to be the responsible party. If it's not a good day, tell them. If you can't feed them, send them home to eat or offer only the snack you feel like serving. If they need to go home by 7, then send them home. If you need them to be quiet or stay out of your mail and they don't, then send them home. If you feel they are in danger or neglected, call CPS.

I would tell the kids that they can't come to your house before a certain time, and have to leave at a certain time. And tell then WHEN they can come over. If it persists, why not go to their house, and speak to the parents. Say something like "your kids are always at my house, and I have never met you, and I thought I'd stop by and introduce myself" or something like that. Make it a happy introduction and tell them that their kids are allowed at your house during these specific times. You have to nip it in the bud or it will never end.

If I liked the kids, I'd go to meet their parents and try to keep an eye out on them (the kids). If they were obnoxious brats, I'd just send them back home every day until they get the idea. My girl is only 3.5 and we don't let her out front by herself, so this isn't in issue for us... yet.

But, at my sil's house, their neighbor's boy is a year younger than their oldest (now 6) and 2 years older than their middle. He got so comfortable with them (and they are actually friends with the neighbors) that he's just let himself in the house if the door wasn't locked! Last time we visited, everyboyd had gone out somewhere and I stayed home with my girl (who was napping). I walked from the kitchen to the living room and saw a strange boy standing in the living room staring at me! Freaked me OUT! I told him that the boys weren't home and he asked if he could stay with me! I told him no and that he needed to go home! Of course, I walked him to the door and watched him all the way until he went in his front door. At the time, he was probably only 4!
Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty relaxed with my girl and I do let her play outside alone (in the fenced-in backyard), but I just wonder what some parents are thinking (or NOT) when they let their kids roam around like that!

I would make it my business to meet the parents of children who have latched onto my family, and I would tell the parents that. Okay, maybe not those exact words, but I would open the conversation by telling them that I wanted to make their acquaintance and make sure that they can feel comfortable with who I am so they can trust me with their kid.

Then, if I were okay with having them over all the time like that, I would teach them the rules for MY HOUSE--

"Hey, you need to be quiet and not wake the baby."
"After dinner, it'll be time for you to go on home." Or send them home before dinner--"We need you to go home early today. See you tomorrow."
Regarding the mail and everything else..."Do you see something with your name on it? That is off limits."

For some reason, you have inherited two more children. They are part of your brood. If you're up for keeping them around, you'll have to set and maintain boundaries.

I would be caring and patient, but also set some limits. Welcome them to play and serve them a snack if you can. But be sure to send them home at a certain time and insist, maybe, that you get their parents' phone numbers or at least meet them in case there is an emergency.