Would You Fire a Nanny for This?

I think I'd let her go. That would be one of the most important responsibilities that she should be able to keep track of. I would be concerned that it slipped her mind that easily after all of that reminding and coordinating.

Not a fit for my particular family - I would not keep her. But that's just me. I'd do it gracefully, maybe with a little extra $$$ so that she has time to find another job. Bottom line I'm not going to have someone dealing with my kids who cannot grasp or follow basic written instructions that she clearly received.

I'm a stickler for pick-ups so this would have bothered me too.

JMO.

Wow, what a poor work ethic. I'd be done with her after that, especially considering the kids don't like her. If you keep her on, things will likely get worse.

ouch. she doesn't put her job first nor her priorities - which while she is being paid by you - your kids.

Unfortunately, when it comes to late pick up?? I would not give a second chance. There are too many "what if's" and my kid's life is NOT worth the second chance.

If the kids don't like her? She's NOT meshing with your family and that's what nanny's do - MESH....let her go and move on.

If you are done with her, that's all you need. I'm assuming your husband doesn't interact with her as much as you do.

So if it's over the line for you, fire her.

For me, it would be a last warning. I have a nanny so that I don't have to disrupt my work life. When she consistently fails to take that stress of my plate, she is no longer contributing anything. Done.

Nope. Wouldn't fly with me.

She is being paid to care for your kids... that is her JOB. I can guarantee that if my boss asked me to have a report ready at a certain time, reminded me about it repeatedly, and then I just "forgot" to do it... THere goes my job. And a report is much less important than a child.

I couldn't have a nanny I didn't trust. You pay her for the peace of mind that your kids are well cared for... She isn't holding up her end of the deal.

I would let her go. 1. Your kids don't like her. 2. She has had a whole month to get adjusted and she's still struggling with simple things. You're a busy working mom; you don't have time to deal with these issues or have a sit down chat with her whenever these issues arise. What you asked of her was relatively simple plus you sent her a reminder text. What would happen in the future if you asked her to do something a little more complicated? It's good that she's nice, but she seems like an absent-minded person or maybe she's lazy. You need someone who is competent.

I would let her go. More on the fact that the kids just don't care for her. It is miserable being with someone day in and out that you don't like.

Seems to me, if she can't remember to have the kids ready or pick up your daughter after dance, what do you need her for? Seriously? She is being paid to provide a service. She is not providing that service. I would find a new person who meshes better with the kiddos.

I'd let her go. She may be a perfectly nice person but unless she's a good fit for your family and your lifestyle its not going to work out.

I would probably fire her. She has only been with you for a month and so, reallu, she should still be on her best behavior and not only trying to impress you but also getting in good with the kids. The kids don't like her and you are less than impressed, I would just let her know it is not working out. Go with your gut!!

Please save yourself a whole lot of irritation. Find someone else. This is unacceptable. I'm not even going to go through the reason why. You know the reason why.

Sounds like it isn't working out all around. I wouldn't keep her on anymore than a 2 week notice.

Be very clear with your expectations with the next sitter, make sure they know these are non-negotiable for you (kids being ready, not being late to pick kids up, etc) and that you expect the work to be done right.

However, please don't say her job is easy. I have seen that a lot on here about nannies lately, and their job is not easy. Your kids might be easy to you, but someone else's kids are not easy. In school or not, taking care of kids is a lot of work. Especially when they aren't yours and they don't respect you as they would their parents.

I would start keeping a pro and con list of her work performance. But, if you do fire her--fire her on the spot with 2 weeks pay. Do not fire her and allow her work with a 2 week notice--recipe for disaster.

You don't need justification. If you are uncomfortable leaving your children in her care then fire her.

I have to second Rhonda's post. If you let her go, do it immediately with two weeks pay. Do not let her in your house alone with the children again. I know what can happen. Please consider this. Your children come first, second, third....

I don't know that I would fire her over this but I would have a strong discussion letting her know that being late to pick up my child was unacceptable. Maybe give her fair warning that if this continues she might need to be looking elsewhere.

You children sound old enough to communicate with you about what goes on when she is with them and they could probably help you.

I see you SWH indicated that your children are not very happy with her.. Why? Can they explain?

All in all, you have to be able to completely trust who you leave your children with and it is a decision for you and your husband to make.

I'm sorry you are having issues.

I'd fire her. She doesn't seem reliable. Plus, as long as your kids are reasonable and don't not like any nanny, I think it's a big sign that your kids don't really like her.

Definitely not a good sign to forget your kids... next time it will be in a hot car....

GONE. She needs another job, not one responsible for the health and welfare of small, dependent children.

Super sorry J. and super annoying that you have to keep looking....

This reminds me of the pics with the title: "You had one job...."

If you feel just done, I suspect that it is more than just this. Think about the things that you feel aren't done or aren't done well. Have you sat down and communicated these problems with her? Is she someone you got through an agency? If so, utilize them and ask them about conflict protocol. If not, then you're on your own.

We had an au pair that we weren't 100% sold on (I say we, but DH and I were not yet married, just engaged) and it turned out that she basically just took a job to get out of her country and didn't even have custody of her own son because her family thought she was irresponsible. We heard from friends whose children also went to SD's school that the au pair would walk SD to school (a 10 minute walk, if that) but not rein her in. SD was nearly hit in the parking lot more than once. We fired her after that, but it was a pile up of other grievances. SD did fine later in aftercare, but that wouldn't work for you if you need someone to facilitate transportation or your kids are not yet school aged.

If your husband isn't sure, why not? What are your concerns that aren't his and why? He wasn't the one running out of work to get your child when the nanny didn't follow directions so is he thinking "no biggie, problem solved" when it WAS a big deal? What does your contract say?

At minimum, you and DH need to be on the same page and give her notice that this cannot happen again. "Forgetting" in half an hour...I'd be peeved. Very. In many cases, if your child is not picked up timely, you can be fined or asked to leave the class.

ETA: further, running out of the office when you pay her to do this for you can impact your job and that's not right, either. Which is why I ask about your DH - how would he feel if he had to pick up her slack?

I also agree that if you do let her go, consider paying her 2 weeks severance and not have her come back. Get all the keys then and there. The last few weeks with the bad au pair were very stressful and in the end DH just paid her off (gave her the $300 he'd promised for education and gave her the bedding) to be rid of her.

I'd have to fire her, because every time one of the kids needed picked up, I'd be constantly worried that she was going to forget. And if I'm spending my time at work worrying about the kids, I'm not working efficiently.

The entire point of childcare is so that I can work, so, bottom line, IMO there is no point in having childcare that you don't trust.

Fire her. If she can't handle a task with very clear details then I wouldn't feel comfortable with her taking care of my kids.

she would be given her two week notice and I would be finding another nanny.

I would make her put reminder alarms on her phone and and start looking for a new nanny. You don't want to take any chances of her forgetting them in her car or shopping.

Yes, I would fire her. She sounds unreliable.

Find someone more reliable first, then let her go.

I would be pretty peeved at the thought of my daughter waiting for a ride after I told the nanny just 30 minutes prior the when and where to pick her up. If it's an ongoing problem too, that makes it worth considering firing her IMO.

Is she good with the kids at least? Anything redeeming? Otherwise I would wait a day and see if you still feel the same way, and if you do, send her on her way.

It is only going to get more annoying. She sounds very absentminded.

I do not have a nanny, but I would want one to know things such as getting kids ready when I show up to take them directly to a practice. If i had to remind her like a child and pay her I do not think I would keep her for that reason. Some nannies 'get it' and others do not.

You next example is really bad. I have seen nannies forget kids at the bus stop and those nannies are no longer with the family. The kids are safe because us other moms wait with them, but the family hire someone to keep their kids safe who is not doing that basic task.

I have very little patience, so I would probably fire her. My other side, the compassionate side would giver her a second chance and leave her specific written instructions.

In the end, I bet she won't be able to cut it.

If u fire on the spot who will take care of your kids?

I'm not opposed to firing her but line up someone else Quietly first.

Yeah, I would fire her. But then again, I've never trusted anyone with my kids.

I would fire her. When it comes to our kids we need to trust our gut reactions.

yes, esp. since the kids also don't like her

She sounds flakey and not a good fit...let her go.

Usually, I'm in the camp of 'don't be overly picky with the nanny', but:

A. (and super important) the kids don't like her and
B. She sounds like an airhead.

"I forgot" is not a reason to forget stuff like this. It makes me wonder what else she is forgetting to do. Being nice doesn't necessarily qualify someone to be a good caregiver. The fact is, she is unreliable, period. People who know they might forget something need to have a system in place so they *don't* forget important things like "have kids ready to walk out door at X time" or "be at ABC at this time for pickup", etc. Kids get really upset when they are forgotten-- it's not something that they usually just shrug off.

Time-management is one of those skills which are imperative for a nanny to have. Doesn't sound like this job is her first priority, to be honest.

(If my answer seems a bit harsh, please understand-- I did this job for years myself. When one works independently like this, one needs to be self-motivated and have a strong work ethic. I won't agree with you that the job is easy-- it's not, toddlers *are* a challenge-- however, you want someone who makes your life easier, not more hectic. And if you do decide to keep her on a bit longer, have a communications notebook where you can write down all of the pickups/appointments and she can write down any pertinent information. I found this system worked very well. Getting info only verbally, it's more likely to be forgotten. )

She sounds like a dummy(sorry!) I wouldn't want a dummy watching my kids.

Well, it certainly doesn't sound like anyone in the family is crazy about her....

It would depend. If she just cannot seem to get the kids schedule straight, then yeah. But if this one a just started thing, then maybe get a calendar together that she needs to follow and give her a chance to improve. Why don't the kids like her? Does she not play enough? What does she do while they are at school?

If it were me, I'd let her go immediately. Pay her severance, and tell her it's not working out for you.

Forgetting to pick up a child is three strikes immediately. Forgetting to pick up a child after just being reminded by the child's mother means being banned from the game.

You'll never have peace of mind about the well-being of your kids if you allow her to stay. Best to end it now and find a better fit for your family.

Hope you find a great replacement soon.

J. F.

I have been a nanny for over 20 years and that happened to me once in my whole career and the only reason it happened was the school had an early dismissal and I forgot about it. It does happen but if you just texted her the address and time she should not have forgotten that but I would give her one more chance but I would sit down with her and lay down the rules let her know what you want out of her and if she does it again then I would definitely fire her

Give her a written schedule. Put on it the times she'll have to have a specific thing done.

I would have to do this very specific for my flow of time too. I'd put the time kiddo must be standing by the door ready to walk out, with proper clothes on and the needed equipment ready to go. But we keep most stuff in our vehicle, such as soccer stuff or football or BMX, not the bike of course because that goes on the bike rack on the outside but the other gear is always in the van or truck.

This takes some of the stress off everyone. The kids just need to be dressed and standing by the door with drinks and snacks and what ever equipment they need.

Then when she has to pick someone up she could have a reminder from your google calendar. I set up everything on that calendar and send my hubby an invitation to everything then he gets the same reminders on his cell that I get.

I set them up to give me an hour for things that take time gathering stuff such as dance. I need to get her leos, shoes, tights, bobby pins, brush, hair spray, etc...in her dance bag so I can do her ballet bun when she gets changed.

If "I" had a nanny they'd do the hair and clothes and I wouldn't have to do that myself. But as it is I sometimes need that hour reminder to get me on the ball.

Then I have a 30 minute reminder so I know it's time to head to the car. We live out a ways and it takes 20 minutes to get to town. So I need that as my final reminder.

If I were you I'd have the monthly calendar on the wall in a space that is in sight of everyone in the family. Easy to see without having to walk over and read fine print.

I also color code our calendars so I can see if there is a red for anyone during the day (Dr. Appointment/school meeting/important). Then the girl is orange and the boy is purple. I am green and hubby is blue.

Then invite this girl to each and every thing on the calendar that she has a responsibility to do. Such as picking up the dance class girl. If she'd have had her phone on her and it got a reminder she'd have know she had a few minutes to be there and that was her final reminder.

For all this you don't have to "like" her. If she does her job, keeps the kids in line, and overall fills that need then she should get another chance.

The kids don't like her because #1...she's not the nanny they liked. #2 she's new and they haven't bonded with her yet. #3 she is making them mind or do stuff and she's asserting authority over them.

I'd do the calendar and reminders and let her know in writing if she's late or misses another drop off or pick up she'll be terminated at once with no warning.

How old is this person? She sounds young and sounds like she has scheduling problems. When I was in my 20's and first teaching I had a hard time getting my class to places on time, like the lunchroom and gym. I had to learn.

Did you fire her? I can't imagine I'd ever be in a position to have this kind of help, but if I were, heck yes, I'd fire her. What's the point if you can't rely on her?

Sounds a little flaky, why not just give her notice and tell her it isn't working out. That way she has a couple weeks to find a new job and you have a couple weeks to find a new sitter. You part ways on nice terms.