Would You Consider This a Threat?

Just quit the job, you aren't happy!

Also, learn workplace etiquette. Texting while working, texting and facebook commenting about job status with the boss...that's unprofessional. Most places would fire YOU for that.

if it was me i would give my two weeks. you were not being threatening. if there is someone above this lady go to them. it sounds like her and H are buddies and she is acting high school like.

Yes. I would, based on the way it was presented. Meet my demand or else. What can that be other than a threat? Not to say you aren't in a pickle. But yes, that was a threat. The rule in communication is the only message that counts is the message recieved. She recieved that as a threat, so it doesn't matter how you intended it. Sorry. Myabe it is time to move on, get some fresh air. Go find a job that will allow you to be happy and fulfilled.

Note to self: Next time she schedules me with Hannah... give two weeks notice.

((Wait, it happened tonight. Again. After I spoke with my boss, after I warned my boss I was at the end of my rope. After I specifically said that I will quit if I have to work with her again. Headsmack. TO DO LIST TOMORROW: 1) Give 2 weeks notice.))

There's no more "warning". There's obviously no negotiating. You've drawn your line in the sand and your boss has already crossed it at least once. Now's the time where you DO STOP threatening, and follow up on your promise.

Threaten, warn, promise... it doesn't matter which word you want to use to describe it; you told your boss that you are completely unwilling to work with H anymore, and will be giving your notice if she schedules you with her again.

Don't play ring around the rosies, or it's just empty threats. She schedules you with Hannah, hand in your 2 week notice.

My first thought was....
You chatted about this on Facebook?
I'm sorry, but that is incredibly unprofessional.
That is not the time or place to discuss other coworkers, your job, your schedule, your employment. PERIOD.
If I were your employer, I would have your last paycheck ready for you and you could have a two week head start on finding another job.
Sorry.
I've been in management and HR and if you have issues with a coworker or working conditions, etc....
You DON'T bring it up on facebook!

Your boss now has it in writing that if she doesn't do this or that, you will leave.
Legally, she can tell you not to let the door hit you in the butt on your way out.
California is an "at will" employment state. That means you can leave with no reason. That also means your employer can terminate you with no reason.
Although....you've just given one.

I've been putting up with a coworker from hell and I am the only one who hasn't complained to my boss. It's not because I'm a sucker....it's because I'm too busy doing my job and getting things done correctly for the sake of the business and it hasn't gone unnoticed.
I'm no saint, there have been days I've thought, "If she's not gone, I will be."
I've even applied for a couple of other jobs, but not just because of her. I know I deserve more than I'm making and my boss knows it too.
I've shown too much class to complain about someone who can't even take phone messages correctly, who refuses to listen to me or anyone else, who has the crappiest attitude on the face of the planet and drags everyone else down.
I work circles around her and build everyone else up.
I would never say that it's her or me unless I was prepared to pick up my last paycheck.
My boss likes me. She constantly does nice things for me to thank me for the great job I do.
She's not stupid.
She hears constant bickering and employee dynamics and I have a smile every day and get things done.
A little peon who doesn't do her job and complains about every single thing isn't worth my time trifling over, especially when her attitude is so bad that she makes it clear she's not happy. She makes everyone ELSE miserable while she's at it.

So...if you no longer smile and you're unhappy and you want to go back to being 100% stay at home mom for your sanity and your health.....
Why are you blaming a coworker?

Why would you give your boss an ultimatum?

Why would you do it on Facebook?

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but it does sound like you are trying to force your boss's hand in the situation.
I don't know you, I'm not judging you, but I'd can you in a heartbeat.
....Just for bringing it up on Facebook if nothing else.

There is something to be said for discretion.

You have a right to your feelings.
If you'd be happier not there, then spare everyone. Make the decision yourself.

Again, no offense, I promise.
Best wishes.

It looks to me like you interchanges with your boss are VERY unproductive and unprofessional.
Threatening her? She should be if a child breaks a neck in her daycare!

I think I responded to your post last time and I urge you this time to document everything and interact with your boss professionally. Stop text messaging her and sending her some Facebook comments. If something happens at the daycare (God forbid!) investigators will be all over that place and if you did not cover your butt - you will be found guilty as an accomplice.

Document the girl's performance. Write your boss letters and memos and keep copies. If she ignores you and something happens - you warned her, she made a bad choice by not staffing her daycare adequately. You are playing with fire here.

I hope this resolves and the kids will be out of danger soon.

Dont communicate with your boss over work related issues on Facebook. I can see how it would come across as a threat. You were telling your boss what to do and saying if she didnt do it, you would quit.

With that being said, if you are not happy, and can live without the money, quit.

Just quit. You are not doing her or yourself any favors by staying.

You didn't threaten her in the "I'm going to hurt you" sense but you did threaten to quit if she scheduled you with the other person again. So basically you now need to put up or shut up. If things are really so bad you will put in your 2 weeks' notice, then why not do it? She's proven that she only sees what she wants to see or at least doesn't see it your way.

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Ever heard the slogan "JUST DO IT!" ? A professional letter stating that you are tendering your resignation effective immediately and your last day at work will be (date) is not a "threat" - as long as you walk out when you say you are going to! Stop letting her bully or emotionally blackmail you into staying in a toxic environment! I actually got a Daycare shut down by Social Services because (as a staff member) I saw things that put the emotional and physical wellbeing of the children we were "caring" for in jeopardy! "These boots are made for walking!" Hand in your letter and don't look back. "May the Force Be With You"! :)

As I read your last sentence, it seemed to me you are overthinking this. You can tell her you are done whether she took your warning as a threat or not. You can give notice any time you want, or even just tell her you are done if you want. If you can do it financially, do it. Who cares what she thinks. You tried and she knows it but chose to disregard your concerns. Otherwise, proactively look for another job. I love Sunni's suggestions of documenting and putting things in writing so you are covered with the boss and if something happens. If it were me, I would be afraid to work there because I sure don't want to be around when some poor baby gets hurt because this girl is not watching or doing her job. You are not superwoman and can't do it all or see it all, so the one second your back is turned someone could get hurt while the teen is being lazy or daydreamy. You are miserable there and it is effecting your family life and personality at home. You need out! If you see anything that could be real negligence or is reportable, then by all means report. You have warned this boss enough and you need to excuse yourself from being responsible for her lack of concern for the children and the other worker's ineptness. You cannot fix everything! You have done a lot to try to fix it and the boss is not listening, and neither is the girl, so it looks like you are banging your head against a brick wall. Very sad for the little ones!

My first thought here was that you shouldn't be friends with your boss on Face Book. Otherwise, if you are truly fed up, able to stay home, then by all means, do that!!

I think it's time to stop talking "threatening" her, and just do it. Quit. She sounds like a terrible boss, and your work place sounds dangerous. I would not work at a place where children are in danger and the boss ignores the situation and is worried about hiring people. It may be difficult to go without a paycheck until you can find another job, but it would be even harder to defend yourself in a lawsuit if a child is injured on your watch.

Is the boss friends with Hannah's parents or something? Sounds like you are up against something that you can win. Maybe her head is too far up her you know where to see what really goes on, and she just sees you as a chronic complainer? Anyway, just give your notice and find work elsewhere. You are being abused and not valued by your employer and that is unlikely to change.

Whether it's a more relaxed environment or not, texting and face booking seems like a highly inappropriate way to communicate about serious work issues. Working daycare is tough. It's demanding. Working in an unorganized center with apathetic employees makes it worse. If you can afford to quit, give her your notice tomorrow. If you can't afford to quit, start looking for new employment and then quit. All this back and forth with your boss is ridiculous. You told her what you need, she's not giving it to you, then leave. If you keep talking about leaving with no follow through, of course she is blowing you off.

Z.,

Yes and No. It was both--my advice to you is to NOT talk work related stuff on Facebook! Very unprofessional and could get you fired quick. I think if you dont want to work with someone, that is a face to face talk with the boss. Also, don't say it the way you did--it does sound like a threat to leave. Make it nicer and most likely your boss will work with you.

M

It kind of is...don't do this OR...so yes. And why did you do it on FB? Why not have a discussion with her? But if the work environment is that bad, I'd quit and walk out the door - just leave it off of your resume. Or give your two weeks and put it on there. Who cares about her?

It's really not smart to face book your boss about quiting. Don't do it. You should delete the remark on your face book.

If you want to be a SAHM, why don't you do that instead? You don't have to keep working for her. If you need to make some money, maybe you can watch a few kids in your house. If you like having the kids in your house.

Start looking for another job.

Quit already. This job is not worth the drama!! As for it being a "threat"...well the word threat is defined as, and I quote, "a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not...a menace of bodily harm, such as may restrain a person's freedom of action." So in my opinion, no, it was not a threat. I do not think posting it on Facebook was a good idea. It is always better to communicate in person. But that is just my opinion. :) I did not read your previous post so I am assuming this a day care type job? I worked for years in day cares and preschools and from my experience this type of thing is VERY common. You are right. It is not worth it. Move on!

No, I would not view that as a "threat." Good grief.

It sounds like an unprofessional, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants situation. I would not hold my breath for anything to change.

Basically it comes down to "how badly do I need this job?"

Personally I would not stay in that position, especially when kids are endangered (however slightly) on a regular basis due to bad hiring practices. I would also be considering whether I should report this place.

Good luck.

Look for a new job, period. You're not happy. And I'd be really angry at my boss's stupidity if she thought I was someone she felt "safe" in saying racist remarks to. But I don't know your situation, so I can't advise you to just quit. I'd look for a job and when you get one, quit here.
As for whether it's a threat or not: well, another mom quoted the definition of it so I'll just piggyback on her answer, since I'm too lazy to look it up myself. "A statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not"----to me, that IS a threat then. Because you each know she'll be in a bind if you up and quit. She's already short staffed, so you leaving would cause more problems for her. And it is my opinion that just like beauty, "threats" are in the eye of the beholder. If she feels that you are saying "do what I say or there will be a retribution that can damage your business", then, YEAH. A threat. The little phrase "it's not a threat, it's a promise" is JUST a phrase, not defining a threat as empty words. Whether it's acted out or not, the feeling of fear or concern that it is meant to invoke is what happens with a threat. But me, I'd leave. But if I needed the income, as most people who work do, then I'd try to find something else first. It's kind of hard to find a job these days. Speak to your husband and see if you should be job hunting AND working now, or if you can go ahead and turn in your notice now. That's between you two though, I can't speak to that.

It's time to look for a new job. I wouldn't quit (in today's economy) without having one securely set. But it doesn't sound like your boss shares you values, or your integrity with regards to childcare.

You are certainly asking for reasonable things (adults to watch children, instead of texting teens doing the job) -- but I agree with others that your way of approaching this subject with your boss (via Facebook) is not ideal.

And yes, when you tell someone you are walking unless they do what you want -- it's basically a threat. A more polite term is ultimatum, but either way -- unless you're ready to act on your words, not a tactic I would employ.

As far as your boss making excuses for not hiring adults - (she says she "doesn't want to put up a help wanted sign because it looks desperate") -- well an actual sign is rarely how people hire today. Internet listings like Jen's list or Craigs list, are a far better way of finding qualified employees.

Basically, there are so many weird excuses here for hiring teenager (and where are these teenagers coming from anyway?) that I have to imagine that they are either the children of a friend of your boss, or they are simply being paid so little by your boss that its to her advantage to keep them as employees.

It would be great if, for the sake of the children in your care, you could get her to staff the place better -- but that seems unlikely so I would be actively searching for a new job

My advice from your last post:
(start)
I think if you're going to approach you manager about it, you're going to have to do it in a more professional way than texting her that you "can't work with her anymore and to please not schedule us together again or if that's not possible, I would be giving my two week notice"!

Sit down with her and explain calmly and clearly why the new employees needs to either:
1. Be trained
2. Follow written policy on texting, etc. (If there's not written policy, there should be.)
3. Given an employee handbook--so that the standard for ALL employees are equal and understood. And where's YOUR copy?
Any company large enough to have a health club should certainly be able to produce an employee code of conduct for you all to look at & learn.

If the issue is just a crappy manager (that will be revealed by TRYING to follow the steps above) then I surely would say something to the teenager myself. As often as necessary until she corrects her work ethic.

Now...if you really don't WANT the job and are WANTING to quit, by all means, do so. However I would take the opportunity in my letter of resignation to outline just exactly WHY you are leaving and what changes you feel would be beneficial. Employers need to know why they are losing employees.
(end)

This question:
When you use an "If, then" statement to a boss, yes it's a threat. I can certainly understand why she was wazzed off.
Do you have valid concerns? Certainly
Is she going to axe "H" in hopes of keeping you happy? Not likely.
Is this the *right* decision? Who knows?

The thing is, you are not reacting in a mature, professional way to the situation you are in.

You write "I didn't know that by taking this job just over a year ago that I was signing a life time commitment." What? Why is an $8/hour job that you hate a lifetime commitment? In what way?

Now what's happening is you are spending too much time & attention bird-dogging "H" to pay proper attention to YOUR duties. It happens ALL the time. Good employees stuck in low morale b/c of poor employees and thus, becoming hyper-focused and poor employees themselves.
You're turning your job into a pi$$ing contest. (Not saying your complaints aren't valid--they very well might be!) But right now, the manager isn't going anywhere, she's not responding to your ultimatums, so you need to look for a new job. And apologize to your manager for the ultimatum/threat.
Work is work. We ALL need to work with people that we don't care for, or people that are inferior, etc. It's part of life. For a daycare job, I wouldn't die on this particular hill.

Your boss sounds like a real piece of work. I wouldn't think twice about leaving her high and dry with no one to fill the void in your absence. When you accepted the position, you did not sign your life away. You just happen to have a strong work ethic and feel obligated to stay because she is short-staffed. This woman is not your friend, and she is certainly someone you don't need to align yourself with. The bigoted comments she made seal the deal. Next time you leave that place, make it be the last time, no joke. Write her a letter of resignation and hand it to her personally, then be done with it.

Yes, you did threaten to quit if you were scheduled w/ Hannah again. You might not have perceived it as a threat but that is what it was.

I see a few things happening...1. you really prefer to be a SAHM 2. your standards/expectations are higher than both your bosses and Hannah's and 3. your patience is wearing thin regarding what you perceive as slacking while your a busting your butt (I often have the same problem with this and the expectations).

I suggest you realize a few things, it will help you stay sane...everyone has different notions on what is "working hard" and you can't expect everyone else's to be the same as you. Then you have to decide, do you want to continue working where you are or not and then act accordingly. You can't make your boss see things your way if the bosses notion of what is acceptable is being met.

Any time you make a threat or an ultimatum to an employer, do not be surprised if they take you up on it. If you mean it, then no problem, but if you need to keep the job, this is not the way to go about it.

Also as long as you are employed here, you can write and document your observations, make copies and make sure the manager sees them, but you are not to share this info with anyone outside of the business unless you are worried about safety or they are breaking the laws. It is not considered professional and you can be asked to leave for insubordination.

It is up to your manager to run the business. If they do not do a good job, then you have a choice. You can keep doing your job despite others. If it is driving you crazy. then begin looking for a new job now, so you can move on along.

I would also be like you and be going insane with the manager and the lazy bum you are working with.. I would have left a long time ago if possible.

High school students usually get paid less than people who have experience plus they are usually part time and receive no benefits at all, no child care, no vacation or personal time, etc.... If you have experience and have taken any child care classes then you should be getting paid more per hour. If this director is not listening to you then you have a couple of options that are do-able. They also usually only work after school a couple of hours per day. They get no real experience and consider it to be like babysitting, not a career.

I would also say that if she did watch the video feed and felt that the girl was pulling her weight then perhaps she does not have the same high standards as you.

Here's how I have had my classes set up. Number 1, a teacher had a certain age group, her own class where she acted as the Head Teacher and a co-teacher that had the same status but not the same responsibility. The Head Teacher planned the curriculum, got the supplies together, organized field trips, worked with the other teacher to plan and organize the kids days. The Head Teacher got paid more per hour because it was a status that they had earned. Usually they had a CDA or higher degree. The teachers did not move from class to class and have a different group every day, they also worked with the same staff person every day unless someone was sick and their was a substitute. They had the same classroom each and every day. They decorated it, they inventoried the toys to meet state requirements, it was their classroom.

Number 2, if the kids are at risk with this worker you have the responsibility to report this person to the licensing inspector. They can make sure the kids are taken care of.

Number 3, change your hours for times when school is in session. Perhaps you can work during the hours of 7:30a to 3:30p, she may even be the person who relieves you. So the only times you could possibly be paired with her is when school is out for holidays.

Number 4, if she is working with someone who is constantly cleaning up her messes and doing her job why should she do anything different? She gets to slack off because you are doing her job for her. I understand you don't want kids to get hurt, I'm not talking about safety here, I am talking about cleaning the classroom, taking out the trash, the things that you are doing because she isn't. She knows you don't like her, the look she gave you is evidence of that. She also knows she doesn't have to do anything because when she goes to the bathroom the 5th or 6th time she'll come back and have nothing to do because you have already done it. As long as the kids are safe and not at risk let the other stuff go and let her see how it goes when she isn't doing her job. I would always leave before her too. When the child/teacher ratio goes down to where one worker can be alone I would leave. That way the morning teacher can come in and report the mess the room is in. It takes more than one person complaining to get change.

Number 5, find ways to make yourself a more desirable employee and start looking for another job. Check and see if there are child care classes you can take to get certifications so you can make more money at this. In Oklahoma we have a CDA, Child Development Associate credential. The classes are a couple of times per week and are free. The teachers are certified by the state to teach these classes and fulfill the requirements to award the certifications. Once the person has these credentials they get more per hour, they get to also have more responsibly. I would say if you are interested in doing child care then having some sort of education would be a plus. Also, once certified you are more desirable to have as an employee since it helps the center get more funding, or higher pay from the state and their price list goes up with teachers with more qualifications. You could go to other centers and apply and perhaps get a lot more pay per hour.

Was it a threat? Yes. You said you would give your two weeks notice if you were scheduled to work with Hannah. So then you had to work with her again, and you got more frustrated instead of giving your two weeks notice like you said you would. Your boss called your bluff, and she won! Now she doesn't take you seriously, and probably only sees you as a complainer trying to get your way (sorry, no offense meant). I am on your side about how Hannah is a bad employee and shouldn't be working there, but I've always heard that if you're going to threaten to leave your employer, you have to be willing to follow through with it. This has really turned into a big game of chicken. I'd be giving my notice asap. It's not worth it. I wish you good luck though..it always stinks to have a crappy boss and negligent coworkers.

If you need the money stay until you find another job. If you're not in need of money than just leave without giving her two weeks notice. You don't need the headache. Your boss doesn't know the meaning of threat. She needs to go back to school and get some education courses.
Let's admit it, we're all a bit prejudice of other cultures in one way or another, but we try to respect them, right. She was honest with you about who would come in and ask for a job. Don't hold it against her, although Indians, Mexicans, and Somali's have proven to be very good strong workers. I worked with them and they were very good at job performance.
Wish you luck.

Yes, it was just a threat unless you follow through and actually DO give your notice. Why would you want to work in that environment? Get out now. Your boss sounds like and idiot. RUN!

Yes, it was a kind of threat...your boss obviously has no intention of doing anything about your concerns. If this bothers you so bad and you don't need the money, then follow through and give your 2 weeks.

In my opinion.. this is too much drama at work. It's time to look for another job. As for if what you said was a threat or not. Ultimatums, which is what you gave her, can be seen as a threat... I don't think you meant it that way. However, bosses in general don't like to be approached that way, and in any work situation, it's best to approach the person face to face and while you want to get your point across and get what you want, it's never a good idea to corner someone, which is what ultimatums do.. The person's response is usually that of being defensive.. That said, if you truly want to quit, then do it in a professional manner. Give your notice and also explain to her, you miss your child and want to go back to being a sahm.. you needn't make your resignation a time to complain. Don't burn a bridge if you truly don't have to.. the facts will always speak for themselves, whether the parties involved choose to see them or not.... take the high road..

I think you are pretty much done, and I suggest you let her let you go if you want to collect unemployment insurance. If you don't submit your two week notice tomorrow. This is not the place for you

Blessings...

I know this is a bit late, but I couldn’t rest without sharing my own 2 cents about your issue, especially because I am a mom with a toddler in daycare, too. I’d hate to imagine that one of the people supposedly watching my kid is NOT watching my kid when I’m paying a great deal of hard-earned money for her (and the facility) to do so. Knowing you have a co-worker like that makes me so uneasy, and if I was in your place, I would feel frustrated like you.

I think you should just quit already. Whether she is threatening you or not wouldn’t matter anymore when you do quit. It’s unfortunate, though, that the daycare would lose someone as dedicated as you are, and I feel for the kids and the parents of the kids in your daycare. But if you have to quit for your own peace of mind, for your own health, then do it. Do what will make you happier.

When you quit, though, remind your manager of LIABILITY. You can add this in your 2-week notice or your resignation letter. She must be forgetting that if anything happens to any of the children because of the your co-worker’s negligence, they will all be in trouble and she will also be held accountable. Whatever amount she is trying to save from hiring less-than-qualified staff members, she might lose on legal fees if/when (and with the way you describe what’s happening, I fear this is inevitable) something happens to any of the children and the parents decide to take legal action. Let’s just hope nothing horrible happens to any of the kids for her to have to learn her lesson.

Her personal prejudice/issues is her own problem, and you really shouldn’t have to deal with that any more. So go ahead and quit, just remind her of her accountability - whether she’s threatening you or not shouldn’t be an issue anymore. Best of luck to you and whatever you decide.

One last thing: can you tell me, even in private message, what daycare you’re now working for? I just want to make sure to never send my kids there. Thanks!

quit the job! what you said was not a threat IMO, and your boss seems to be fairly lazy and racist going off of your comments. maybe she doesnt want to hire qualified people because she can get away with paying the HS kids very cheaply. i would maybe report her to who ever you would make a report to, and then quit.

From your point of view, it was FYI. From her point of view, it was a threat.

I'd tell her you weren't thinking of it as a threat. You were trying to solve a personality conflict. Ask her if she would like you to ask around for a replacement or better yet, look for a replacement and ask her to apply without telling the boss.

But, be careful. You might be the one replaced.

Good luck to you and yours.

There is always going to be someone who annoys you or doesn't put in the effort that you do no matter where you work.

If you talk to your boss about Hannah, first tell her how much you enjoy working there. (Even if you don't right now.) Explain specifically why you get frustrated when you work with Hannah. Don't tell her you won't work with her. Instead ask for suggestions on how to help Hannah. Your boss needs to know that you are willing to work with her and make every effort to improve the situation. Give it some time, then go back and followup, whether or not things have improved. If they haven't and you are done trying, give your 2 weeks notice.

I'm not sure where you work based on the question but I"m guessing some sort of daycare facility? If so - I can't imagine it would be that hard to find another job or leave. You did not sign a life time commitment when you took this job -if it isn't working and making you this unhappy - then give your notice. Who cares if your boss really needs you? Obviously she doesn't respect you giving the way she is talking to you - and do you really want to work for someone that would openly say she's afraid minorities will apply to work for her? Yikes - get out while you can.

If you quit, then just write a formal letter and give it to her, if she thinks it is a joke, then ask her for her bosses name and address so you can send it certified mail. You don't have to go into why, just that you are quitting. If asked why just say hostile work environment, which it is if your boss thinks you are just threatening.

All I can say is don't stay if you're not happy. Didn't you say you didn't actually NEED the money from working there? If you're worried about leaving them in a rut don't be. I worked at a job way too long because I was worried about leaving them in a rut. They ended up laying me off anyway, after 14 years. Sounds like your boss really doesn't care what kind of people she's hiring and shouldn't be in the daycare business. I feel sorry for the kids. Just put your 2 weeks notice in, in a formal letter and state the last day you will be working. If she really cares then she'll make the changes she needs to with your input, if not then it's not your problem.

Just give your 2 week notice as soon as possible. Where is this daycare? I hope it's not one where my kids go, scary!
And strangely enough, it sounds like a teenage babysitter I had once for my kids, the kids didn't like her, she was also talking on her phone all night or texting. Nor did she pick up. Needless to say I didn't call her back to sit again.

Yes, that is a threat. If I was your boss, i would have taken it as a threat.

On your last post, I advised you to quit your job if you didn't need it. I also read over the people's posts who responded after me and saw that some said to TEACH the girl. No, it's not in your job description, but you will be helping her and yourself.

As to the boss not wanting foreigners to apply - yeah - that's discrimination as well as prejudice - that's HER problem - not yours. You cannot control how she thinks or what she does. If you know some moms who might work there, then suggest them.

If you are not willing to talk to Hannah and tell her what she needs to do and tell her to get off her rear end and WORK - then you end up being part of the problem for just complaining about it and DOING anything about it.

If this won't work for you - then follow through on your threat and quit.

It's ok to be fustrated about things that are not right and unfair. This is however your bosses buisness if she wants to make poor choices then she'll eventually pay the consequence but you don't have to. You have a fantastic work ethic and really care about the job you do, it'll be her loss and her loss alone to lose good employee's as yourself. It's not worth it for it to be affecting your happiness, sanity and health. You can't change other people's attitudes or minds, you can only change how it affects you. If you don't need the job simply walk away and enjoy the satisfaction of taking your life back.

Some people take different types of talking as threat. To be honest you are tell your boss do this or I am not working here any more, that is kind of a threat. If one of my workers came to me and used those words I would try to understand where they are coming from but if I do not see the situation the same way I will tell them they can either deal with it and do their work or leave. If you want to leave do so, put it in writing and leave. It seems that no matter what you do or say this boss is a) not going to deal with the issue b) does not real care much for what you say c)has some issues of her own (but don't we all).

If you are not happy then you can do two things a) find a way to make yourself happy working there or b) quit and smile again. You can not change others, you have had your say it seems that it is going to go unchanged so now follow through and leave. This person does not seem to be someone I would want to work for.

Why do you care what she thinks? Just quit. Not meaning to be insensitive, but if a person responds like that to you, why do you still try to "accommodate their feelings" by wondering "how" you're going to quit????

Here's how, say.."I quit!"

Or better yet, say nothing. And just don't show up anymore.

She didn't give you the respect you needed (accusing you of threatening her), so why even bother any further with such people? Not sure what you're afraid of. Really.

Well, it's not a threat exactly, but it's certainly an ultimatum. You told her what YOU expect and what would happen if she didn't comply ('If things don't change around here, I'm going to quit") - classic ultimatum. If things haven't changed, I would go ahead and quit. You don't really need this job as much as your boss needs you. And for some reason, she thinks she holds all the cards. She seems to be in denial. She's not going to change and you'll keep getting upset with the situation. Just follow through on your ultimatum and quit already. Here's how: "I see that you aren't willing and open to hiring competent people, regardless of their cultural/ethnic background. I am no longer able to tolerate these working conditions, so I'm giving my two weeks notice right now. Here's my letter of resignation."