Would This Make You Mad ?

Just let it go. Likely they did not mean to offend. The money you spent is going to the campers, regardless if people showed up right? Life will be much easier if you just blew off the steam and let it go.

I would be annoyed but that is the end of it ... I do not think I would be mad about it; just annoyed.

It is only too late because you say so. How you feel depends on what you say to yourself. Try some positive ways of looking at it. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I suggest that since they did show up after you called them that they did legitimately forget. Their forgetting says nothing about their relationship with you. Their showing up says they do care about you. It would've been much easier to just not show. They didn't eat because they'd probably already eaten. It sounds like even that hurt you.

Yes, be disappointed. Perhaps be aware that this family is a bit casual about plans and perhaps call them the day of for a reminder when it's important to you that they show. Most importantly realize that people do make mistakes and they are usually not a reflection of their liking or not liking you. They did not intend to hurt and anger you.

If they were truly blowing you off, they would not have shown up late (out of guilt) for the last 40 minutes without eating.

You wanted to support a child going to camp so you footed the bill for it. Can you see the good in what you did and not damn the other family forever? And, since this is a church thing shouldn't you be able to find forgiveness in your heart over something that was likely a mistake?

If it is a financial thing, feel free to do things with the other family in the future but pay your own way and not everyone else's. Quite honestly, if you were only requesting that the adult pay you're out $8 bucks - is it really worth throwing away a friendship? But, if the other family is going to cause you this much undue stress and make you this angry then perhaps, for your own sake, let them take the initiative in the future.

Maybe. ...Accidents do happen. I always write everything I have going on on the calendar but not everyone is oober-organized. I believe they just forgot. Especially if it isn't their church or fundraiser. I would say, sleep on it & see how you feel tomorrow. I don't think I would exclude them from all future things. Maybe just ones that are pre-paid, ya know? Hugs. :)

I can't tell you that you are over-reacting to this...each of us has our own way or reacting to things. All I can do is tell you my thoughts on the evneing.
The purpose of this evening was to raise money for a group of children to go to camp. That purpose was served by your paying for the "table" and whether you invited your friends and their children or not...the money was going to a good cause.
Yes it was too bad that your friend forgot about this but sometimes we get busy...and we simply forget things. She tried to get there as quickly as she could...I am sure she was embarrassed and upset too.
What are you accomplishing by remaining upset by this? It sounds like your children are being effected by your anger and hurt...I can't imagine that they really would have cared all that much that their friend "forgot" if you had not been so upset.
Use this as a teachable moment...show your children how to forgive and move on...how to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and just go on with life.

The whole point was for you to raise money. You paid for the table and their not eating doesn't detract from that. The rest is just selfisness and pride. The Bible tells us that we choose to be upset or not. It's good to overlook an offense. They came anyway. Good for them.

You made a donation. So what if they didn't eat. You didn't lose anything. Your hurt and anger is misplaced. Especially the hurt! People forget things sometimes. And they even showed up to try to make up for it. They weren't TRYING to hurt you or make you angry. They forgot! LET IT GO!

Of course it's painful when something that we take very seriously and is close to our heart doesn't seem to be as important to people that are close to us. Especially when it's not important enough for them make an effort to remember or even put on their calendar. And you put a good amount of money into the event and effort along with the rest of your family.

However, as you said they did try to make up for it. It seems to me that they did feel badly and wanted to make things right. That counts for a lot so I wouldn't hold a grudge. If you're the praying type, I would suggest praying about it so that you can work it through and feel better.

I personally wouldn't have such hurt and anger in my heart for $8 at a church event. Why was it too late? It was still going on. You have no idea what happened with their family.

Your friends forgot and made a valiant effort to make it up to you by coming. I hope you didn't make them feel bad!
The whole point was to raise money. Mission accomplished! Please don't hold any resentment toward your friends.

This is a great time to teach your kids that even when people don't do what you had expected them to do, that you don't hold resentment against them and extend grace and mercy! You don't know what originally prevented them from coming and to be angry at them is actually kind of selfish. Especially when they did make an effort to come.

From experience somethings that are super important to me are just a shruge of the shoulders to others and even though they didn't seem to care as much as you they still do and they have important things in their lives that are not as important to you.

While initially I would be upset too, they did show up. Which would tell me they really did forget and they attempted to make things right. I hope you are able to let go of the hurt. Hope the kids raised their goal amount. :)

Keep your eye on the PRIZE.....it's a church fundraiser, let the hurt, disappointment AND anger go! Set a good example for children and adults.

Blessings....

I totally feel for you. I have several close friends who are infamous for being late and for forgetting things we've been planning for weeks. I tend to be overly responsible, punctual, and organized so I was generally the one suffering the most pain (I was also the one planning most of the events). Eventually, I realized they were not going to change and even some slight improvements were inconsistent. So I stopped planning activities but do try to go when they plan something (even though most of their planning is the day of). I love them dearly but have learned to deal with the way they are. I know they don't do it out of disrespect, they are just more disorganized and nonchalant than I am. So I arrive at their events 30-60 late since I know they won't be ready, I never count on them for my events but always assume that a no-show is quite possible, etc. Most of all, I learned not to take it personally because they are like this with everyone and everything, not just me. ((()))

Based on your original post and the "so what happened" information, I think it's fair to mention that the kids were disappointed that this "friend" did not bother to come and support them--Yes, to you it's at least partly about the money, but to the kids, its way more than that, and that their lateness is an action that spoke louder than words, saying, in effect, that they don't really care that much about the kids. So, if you can find a way to tactfully tell her this, do. You don't have to downplay it, but try not to be really emotional when you tell her.

As for the rest, this sounds like someone who thinks that they walk the walk, so to speak, but they don't really. Because if she did think that Church was important, that means treating everyone in the Church with a minimum of respect. Her constant lateness and disregard of your friendship and requiring you to have higher standards really means that she doesn't respect you, and so I would say that you would do well to distance yourself from this holier than thou friend who is not a true friend.

Yes, I would be annoyed, but would be long over it by now. Things happen and people forget. It wasn't a personal attack and they obviously felt badly b/c they came anyway.

Yes, you are taking this way too far and you are allowing your children to do so. You sponsored a table, which was very generous of you. Take the tax deduction and move on.

I would give them the benefit of a doubt. I've been known to get screwed up on which day it is and what's on my calendar so I can imagine other people do as well.

On those occasions when I do remember I have something going on with a friend on a particular day, if we hadn't spoken for a few days, I will call them they day before our get together to check in with them and make sure that they are still up for going. Sometimes people forget, in which case a call to remind them is a good idea. Sometimes there's an inadvertent conflict with their schedule and I'd rather find out that's the case a day ahead of time than after sitting there for a while, waiting for them to show up.

If you did talk to them about the event a day or two before the fundraiser, I would be very annoyed that they left me hanging like that.

Once you have thought this over a bit and feel that you are able to put everything in perspective, talk to your friend and see what he/she has to say about why they flaked out on you like that. They probably have a good reason (and I still think forgetting is a good reason) but an apology for not being there when they said they would, would definitely be in order.

Well, was the fundraiser today?
It's Mother's Day.
I'm not saying there's really an excuse for forgetting, but if you knew how crazy my day was today trying to cram everything in....
Plus, my daughter had a baby on Thursday and the poor little guy is still in the hospital on IV antibiotics because he has pneumonia.
When the pediatrician came in to talk to my daughter, she brought her own daughter with her because the little girl felt sad my daughter had to be in the hospital on Mother's Day. In their rushing around to have personal time and still check on patients, the little girl wanted to pick out a gift for the baby and she made a Mother's Day card all by herself for my daughter. I could cry just thinking about it. That little girl didn't even know my daughter, but she knew she had a sick baby. She had a mom who let her do what her heart felt and I took pictures with the little girl and the baby and then they were off, late, to an event of their own.
Anyway, your heart was in the right place and you know that. You generously donated to help the kids. In my family, we call that a mitzvah. You have earned some stars in heaven, no need to hold a grudge.
The beauty in doing something good is that no one can take that away from you and even though it would have been nice to have received more support, it doesn't alter or lessen your gift in any way unless you let it.
It's okay for children to understand that people don't always meet our expectations, but it happens and it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
Not one single thing I had planned for today happened. Events in my own life made all things planned impossible. I would hate to think anyone would hold it against me or take it personally.
Sometimes it just is what it is.
We get hurt and have a right to feel that way. It happens. But forgiveness is also divine.

Best wishes.
Don't let this taint your generous heart.

In this day and age, little things have been forgotten... such as responsibility to keep appointments (or whatever it is) and also the courtesy to call if you are going to be late. With what I do I have found that if it's not important to someone they aren't going to remember it. (It's not with all people, some people do have responsibility and courtesy.) And then there are some people who aren't thrilled about going (for whatever reason) so they choose not to go after they have already confirmed they are going. When "confronted" they either say they forgot or they (or someone) are sick... those are usually the easiest excuses.

My guess is that your friend did forget, which is why they made the effort to be there after you called... late but they did show up.

I'm not going to tell you how to feel; that's like telling you not to breathe! Just try not to dwell on this too long. It happened and now it's time to let it go. You can forgive but now you can look back and remember... this may happen again (with anyone, not just with this particular friend.)

Well, it was your fundraiser for children at your church, and by inviting friends you insinuate that they are not members of your church. Maybe they would feel better donating for children at their own church, or some charity more close to their hearts.

You should focus on the fact that you were doing a good thing by sending a child to camp...really, getting offended because they forget (and then they rushed down to show up! I mean, really! Most people wouldn't do that.) really takes away from your generosity. Also, getting angry and trying to feel "okay" about you sponsoring a table really makes it sound like you are in this for the wrong reason. I mean, do you want to send children to camp, or prove to your church and friends how generous you are? Because if it's about the kids, you wouldn't be angry.

Also, not the children's friends' fault that they didn't show up. Parents fault, not the children. So letting your children (or whoever's children) be upset with OTHER children is really just fueling something terrible.

I would apologize to your friends for being angry with them, because I am sure they picked up on it, and thank God that he gave you the money to donate. I know what it is to be mad over things like this, but it just makes you feel sick and ruins the good thing you were trying to do...I've been there. So just try to get over it. :)