Worst Mother Ever?

I am a working mother. I did not want to return to work after I had my daughter two years ago. I cried every day for the first week. I hated leaving her with my husband. It was torture. I am at the same job I was at two year ago and happy with my decision not to stay home. I want to buy what my daughter wants and needs. I want to buy what I want and need. I don't want her living like my husband did when he was growing up. They hardly had money for food. They would eat stew everyday because it was cheep. They lived in cracker jack box with four people. just about 1000 sq. ft. I don't and didn't want that for my daughter. So I returned to work. It has been great after the inital getting over it. I get adult conversations. She gets to play with other kids. She has learned so much by being with other children. She can count to five say most of her ABC's in order. She has a large vocabulary she knows words I don't even know what they mean. I have to look them up. My husband has a large vocabulary too. This is all stuff she would of missed if I had stayed home with her. We would be broke and she and I would be eachother only companion because we wouldn't have enough money for me to do anything with her. I am happy I have returned to work. If I can have another one I would do it again.

I think with each decade our world is more geared toward two income families. I am a SAHM and it is very difficult to buy a home or afford anything it seems like on his salary. The average income in Edmond is $60,000...I wonder how much of that is due to both husband and wife working? In the 80's my parents bought their first home in Bethany for $7,000 now the same home is worth $80,000.

You have to do what's right for you and your family. I have done it both ways. There are pros and cons to staying home and going to work. It took me a long time to find what was best for my family and what made me happy. I do work but I do it after my husband gets home and it has worked out great for us. My family doesn't understand why I work. Even my mom will say things because she stayed home with us. I know why I work and what is best for my family so I try not to let their comments get to me. Rachel is right after the first couple weeks you won't feel as guilty. I think as moms we always feel guilty about something when it comes to our children. If you can find a daycare center or person to care for your child that you are comfortable with that is a hugh help.
D.

M.,

I had the same problem when it was time for me to go back to work. My mother-in-law stayed home and raised her two boys and thought I should do the same with my daughter.

To answer your questions, yes - the cost of living is higher now then it was in the 80s. When I first went back it was hard and there was quilt - I just tried to be the best mother I could when I was with her. It also helped that I found a day care that had curriculum instruction - even for their infants. That way I felt like she was a least learning when I was at work. Now that she's 3 - I feel like daycare has helped her socially and they have been really creative in teaching her things I would not have thought to do. So it's been positive. The main thing is finding a place for your son you trust and feel good about taking him to.

It will be OK!

It sounds like grandma wants to be a babysitter :) if not she should lay off, this is definately not the world she raised her children in. Unless they are willing to support your family or watch your kids grandparents reallys shouldn't butt in and try to make everyone else miserable. You have to do what is right for your family.