Working Overnights and "Us"

Never take the simple things in life for granted. Enjoy every moment together and try to be spontanious. Just do simple flirting like texting or emailing when you are apart. You will adapt.

Hubby & I did something similar for a year-he's a soldier & I was working 6p-midnight shifts. He'd be in bed when I got home & long gone when I got up w/our 2 year old. I had 2 days (not weekends, only had 3 the entire year) off a week & those were very precious-we barely answered the phone those days. Our marriage stayed strong, but it was strong to begin with.
If the sweet 2 year old wakes up, you kiss her, fix her problems (headache, fever, drink) & tuck her back in. Then you drink a bit more coffee, tea or ice water the next morning to wake up.
You can do it!

My husband works nights half the time, and days the other half, 12 hr shifts. so I spend a lot of nights alone, and on those nights, we don't see him at all because he leaves before we get home. My 3 year old and 7 month old are used to it by now, but it's tough to feel like a "single-mom" for a few days. I think of it as "ME" time, not lonely time. It gives me a chance to recharge, do something quiet for myself during the hectic week that I wouldn't normally do if he were home, and there is always the bonus of watching what YOU want to watch once the kids are asleep! So try to change how you think of it. It actually works well for us because the time we do have together is that much more special, and I don't resent not getting "ME" time. Of course, all that is after playing supermom in the evening and mornings...good luck, you're not the only one.
T.

Now that your husband is working, he needs lots of praise for getting a job. It's so hard to find a job right now. Is there any way you can quit your job? You would'nt have to pay child care, gas, as many work clothes, restaurant food, etc. Sometimes if you do the math, the wife can stay at home if you give up a lot of expenses and cook, clean, do your own gardening, and even give up your second car.

I had one car for 5 months that my husband always had, and I had 3 little kids at home. I bought a triple stroller and went everywhere with that. At first it drove me crazy, and then it was actually really fun. You need to have the energy to take care of your man.

Good luck,
Marci

My husband worked swing shift when our son was first born -- mostly so one of us could care for him instead of using daycare. It is hard, with only a few hours together. Especially since for your husbands health it is best if he keeps the same schedule all the time (not switching back to 'normal' time on his days off). My best advice for you is to ignore 'normal' time. Throw out ideas of when you should do things and take a good long look at your schedule. Since your baby is only 2 years old you are not constrained by school schedules. Can you change your work schedule (even by 1 or 2 hours) so that you can have more time together? If breakfast is the only meal you can have together, then make it more like dinner. Do what you can to spend time together and if it's not much time, then make it quality time (don't spend it watching TV -- you'll have plenty of time for that when he's at work). Good luck to you. Opposite schedules are hard, but you can keep a great relationship if you work at it.

The fact that you are aware that you will have less "together" time already puts you on the path to success. Where there is a will, there is a way and I truly believe that you will find a new way to make things work.

My husband and I also work opposite shifts so our time together is limited so I speak to you from the heart. Make the best of the time you do have together. I strongly urge you not to resent his job (or the hours he was given with it) and what it has taken away from you. Instead stay focused on what is really important. Your husband will benefit from your upbeat attitude about the changes in your schedules. I am sure he will be missing you as much as you will miss him.

Best of luck. Things will be fine, remain flexible and be willing to try new strategies. Stay focussed on what you still have instead of what you don't.

You will adapt, it is hard in the beginning, but once a routine is established it get's much easier.

My hubby works 12 hour shifts, and I am lucky to see him for 5 minutes on those days, so we make better use of the time we do have...which is very limited, we have 7 almost 8 kids and they want dad's attention also, so they come first. If our time is at midnight then that is our time, you learn to enjoy the little things. Also as already mentioned txting can be a great way to keep the spark alive.

You also get used to sleeping alone...it an be quite nie having a bed all to yourself :)

Hi,
My husband worked all different hours after we first got married. The hardest shift for me was when he got off at 4 in the morning. He now has a really nice shift where he leaves at 5:30 in the morning and is home by 5:30 at night. Anyway, on the days that your husband has off it has to focus all around the family. Make sure he gets his rest and that you are planning special things that you guys can do together. Just lounging at home, going on a picnic, etc. Another thing is if your daughter wakes up in the middle of the night, for me, I just had my son crawl into bed with me. He instantly fell back to sleep and I could go to sleep without walking around all day like a zombie. I know that it seems bad to have the kids sleep with the adults, but when it is just one adult and you have to go to work too, then you need to do all you can to get your sleep.