Won't Sleep in His Crib!

My Daughter is 3 and she did the same thing. Once she learned to stand up she wouldn't sleep in her crib. So I did the easiest thing I could, and put her to sleep in her stroller.
Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do' but it worked. When she was two and a half I bought her a bed and she took right to it. Now she sleeps wonderfully in a regular twin sized bed.

its not too late!!! My son did the same thing - I had to put him in the crib and let him cry it out - believe me it hurt me more than it hurt him. He is just use to sleeping with mama.

Go in every 5 - 10 minutes rub his back and then leave you will see in time he will fall asleep on his own or out of exhaustion!

This is a tough stage - thats what I did with my son and he is 12 !! So hang in there

ok so maybe you started off on the wrong foot by letting the little squirt in your bed but i'll tell you what i do. I have a 17 month old little boy who loves his cribby. The crib is up against the wall and in between the wall and the crib i stuff as many stuffed animals and toys that i can get in there. I have several toys hanging all over the crib from the hooks that some toys come with and i have a baby tad that plays lullabys and lights up that i turn on for him when i put him down. he loves cars and trucks and his sheet and blanket are covered in trucks. I also have a lullaby cd playing in his room whenever he is in there. try to stay awake through a lullaby cd in the dark, its next to impossible. Good luck

Sleeping Solo
Help him snooze on his own
By Dimity McDowell

For the first three months of Miles Thompson’s life, he slept happily in bed with his mom and dad. “For such a tiny thing, he took up so much space,” says mom Mina, of Santa Fe, NM, so she and her husband decided it was time for Miles to slumber in a crib. They started by moving him to a portable crib next to their bed, then put him in his own room when he was 6 months old. Even the first transition was rough. “I’d nurse him to sleep in our bed and then try to delicately transfer him. When he woke up, he’d cry. I’d have to redo the process two or three times,” she says. “It was exhausting.”

Whether your baby sleeps in your bed or in a crib next to you, getting him down on his own can often be a struggle. “How to do it is one of the most common questions I hear from parents,” says Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., author of Sleeping Through the Night. Though there’s no perfect age for your baby to make the move, she advises this gradual, three-step plan when you decide you’re ready:

Spend more time in his room. For a week, play in your baby’s room for at least a few minutes a day. “Put him in his crib to familiarize him with it,” says Mindell. “Build the association that his room is a friendly place.” If you haven’t already, start a consistent bedtime routine — putting on pajamas, feeding, reading a story — in his room.

Start the night right. The next week, put your baby in his crib after the bed- time routine. You can either stay in the room and soothe him (pat his back, whisper “shhh”) or check on him frequently until he falls asleep. If he wakes up and cries, try soothing him in his room first, then take him into yours if that doesn’t work.

Close the deal. After about two weeks of going to him when he wakes, pick a night to go cold turkey and leave him in his crib. You can go to him and soothe him like you did before, but leave him in his crib. “To make the transition stick, you have to be consistent now: Either he always comes into the bed after he wakes up, or he never does.” After a few nights, he’ll be sleeping on his own — like a baby.

Parenting, July 2005

www.parenting.com

Here is an article on Sleeping Through the Night

Getting Baby to Sleep Through the Night: All babies will fall asleep eventually. Some just need a little more help than others.
By Barbara Solomon

Pulling Baby out of the Crib
Up to the time he was 10 months old, my son David had always been a good sleeper. Then my family moved into a new house, and all of a sudden, all bets were off. He began waking two, sometimes three times a night. I was sure he was just unsettled by the change and would return to his old ways soon. But after we tried every trick in the book only to suffer more sleepless nights, we caved in. One night when he called out, I scooped him up and brought him into our bed. We all slept soundly, and I was feeling pretty good -- until I spoke with a friend later that morning.

"Don't you know that you've opened a can of worms?" she scolded. "Now you'll never get him back into his crib!"

Picturing endless sleepless nights ahead, I panicked, and it's no wonder. Getting a baby to sleep consistently through the night can seem like the ultimate unattainable goal. But after I spent just a few nights leaving my son in his crib when he cried for me and gently encouraging him -- "You're okay, David, just go back to sleep!" -- from the hallway, he quickly resumed his old sleep habits. And experts say that with some patience and effort, most parents will be able to solve their child's sleeping problems, too.

The Impossible Dream
During the first weeks of life, you can't expect a baby to sleep through the night. In fact, there is no typical sleeping pattern for newborns; the only thing you can count on is that they sleep around the clock for varying periods, ranging from a few minutes to a few hours. So why can't they sleep consistently for long periods? Blame it all on biology. An immature brain is the primary reason.

"People have a genetic timing mechanism in their brain that controls sleep, and it takes time for that mechanism to develop," explains Marc Weissbluth, MD, professor of clinical pediatrics at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, in Chicago, and author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Ballantine, 1999). "Think of it like eye color: Babies are born with a genetic predisposition to a certain eye color, but it takes time for that color to be expressed."

A need to feed is another factor. Many experts believe that newborn babies have to eat frequently, particularly breastfed babies: There's no way to tell how much a breastfed baby is eating at each feeding, so breastfeeding mothers may be more likely to fully awaken a stirring baby to feed.

Bottlefed babies, on the other hand, may sleep for longer periods because formula takes longer to digest and leaves baby feeling fuller longer. "But babies who have birth defects and are fed continuously by tube for the first several weeks of life show the same process of sleep maturation as other babies," notes Dr. Weissbluth. He believes that ultimately, "Sleep comes from the brain, not the stomach."

Regardless of studies and experts, until she is at least 6 weeks old, a newborn baby will undoubtedly wake several times during the night. Around the 6-week mark, many babies show subtle signs of organizing their sleep. They may get drowsy at 6 or 7 p.m. and may sleep at night for consecutive blocks of four hours or more.

At about 3 months, most can adhere to a sleep schedule that includes a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and two or more longer blocks of sleep at night. According to a poll of primary caregivers by the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), a nonprofit organization, by 9 months some 70 to 80 percent of babies are sleeping a straight 9 to 12 hours every night.

That's great news -- unless yours is one of the 20 to 30 percent of babies who don't sleep so well. "My son was a horrible sleeper!" recalls Lisa Henahan of Peachtree City, Georgia. "Until he was 15 months, he would sleep for an hour and a half and then wake for an hour -- all night long!"

If your nights sound similar, rest assured, these tips can help parents solve a range of stubborn sleep problems.

Sleep Tight, Baby
To exhausted parents it seems that there are as many sleep issues as there are children. But most babies fall into the following categories:

"My 2-month-old son sleeps all day and is up all night."
A common phenomenon during the early weeks of life, day-night reversals often clear up with a little time and a lot of daylight. Try exposing your baby to bright light or sunshine in the morning hours and keep the lights dim in the evening. It also helps to move your baby to a busy part of the house throughout the day, play with him during the daytime, and wake him for daytime feedings.

Then, keep your interactions with him quiet and subdued at night. As babies approach the age of 6 weeks, they begin to respond more to environmental cues, so it helps to have a bedtime routine such as a bath and a song. It may take several weeks, and a baby this young still probably won't sleep through the night, but he may consolidate his sleep into two large blocks at night.

"My 7-month-old daughter won't sleep through the night. Why?"
From around 6 months on, a baby should be able to make it through the night without a middle-of-the-night feeding and without waking his parents. But that doesn't mean he's sleeping all those hours. The term "sleeping through the night" is misleading, points out Lawrence Balter, PhD, professor of applied psychology at New York University, in New York, and editor of Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia (ABC-CLIO, 2000). "All people -- including babies -- wake and put themselves back to sleep several times a night without realizing it," he says. "That's something babies need to learn to do."

Some kids learn on their own; others need a little help. There are several ways to teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep. Most of them involve listening to some crying. So how do you stay focused amid the tears? Remember that crying isn't going to harm your baby. And the reward -- a good night's sleep for all -- is worth a few teary nights.

The Ferber Method
"My neighbor has recommended the Ferber method to help my 6-month-old sleep through the night. What is it?"
This method was developed by pediatric sleep expert Richard Ferber, MD, author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Simon & Schuster, 1986). He advises parents to check periodically on their baby when she awakens at night. Here's a sketch of how it works: On the first night, when you hear your baby cry, you go in, give her a reassuring pat, and then leave. If she's crying 5 minutes later, you repeat the process, but this time you wait 10 minutes before going in, increasing the time in five-minute increments. The second night, you start at 10 minutes. Dr. Ferber's system has worked for many families.

"We're trying the Ferber method for my 7-month-old, but I can't stand the crying. Is there another, less drastic way to sleep-train my baby?"
There are also ways of making gradual changes within the routine you already have, notes Jodi Mindell, PhD, associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and author of Sleeping Through the Night (HarperCollins, 1997). If you've been putting your baby to sleep by rocking her in a chair, for example, start by just sitting in the chair together. "Then choose the next step -- putting your baby in his crib and holding his hand.

"A few days later, you can sit three feet away from your child's bed," Mindell says. Within a few weeks, you should be able to work yourself out of the bedroom.

"We've tried the Ferber method. My 6-month-old becomes enraged every time we go in to soothe him. Any suggestions?"
Some children respond better to a cold-turkey approach. If your baby cries, you don't go in her room (some parents call reassuringly from the hall). This is not for the faint of heart, and, as Balter points out, is better for younger babies. An 8-month-old may be able to sit or stand in her crib, which makes it hard for her to settle down if her calls aren't answered.

More Sleep Issues
"My 9-month-old insists on a 3 a.m. feeding. How can I get her to give it up?"
For many parents, a final obstacle to an uninterrupted night is that middle-of-the-night feeding. If your baby no longer needs to be fed at night (check with your pediatrician to be sure), simply stop giving him the bottle or breast when he calls for it. Alternatively, you can use a sequence of progressive steps, which might include offering him diluted formula or breast milk for a few nights and then gradually replacing it with water. He may not find it as appealing as milk, and, subsequently, won't cry for it.

"My 10-month-old son used to sleep through the night, but lately he's been waking up all the time."
Chances are, there's been some change, however subtle, in your child's routine. Everything from a vacation to an illness to an overnight guest can disrupt a young child's sleep schedule and cause her to awaken and need comforting. Some parents report that developmental milestones, such as learning to walk or use the potty, can also upset sleep patterns.

"When a child takes a developmental leap forward, neurons are firing and there are probably connections being made in the brain," says Mindell. "It's no wonder their sleep is disrupted." Most babies are also keen on practicing their new skills; when they wake in the night, sleep takes second place to getting up on all fours or babbling.

At times like this, you may need to repeat old steps, such as sitting in your baby's room for a few nights and gradually working your way back out. But don't despair; experts say children with established good sleep patterns will return to them pretty quickly.

"How can I get my 8-month-old to go to sleep at the same time every night?"
If your baby isn't sleepy at the same time every night, her daytime sleep routine may need tweaking. "Make sure to wake her at the same time each morning, keep naptimes consistent, and avoid letting baby nap after 4 p.m. A reasonable bedtime for a baby this age is around 7 or 7:30 p.m. If she wakes from a nap at 5:30, she's not going to be sleepy enough to go to bed then," says Mindell.

One strategy to avoid, however, is shortening her naps in the hope that this will make her sleepier at night. The fact is, overtired children have a hard time falling asleep. And evidence shows that babies aren't getting enough sleep as it is. Many experts recommend that infants ages 3 to 11 months get 14 to 15 hours of sleep daily, but according to the NSF poll, most babies get fewer than 13 hours.

Even if you've succeeded in creating a great sleeper, remember that every child occasionally has wakeful periods. When this happens, reassure yourself that you're not going to be sleepless forever. Says Peggy Nona, a Rochester, Minnesota, mother with two school-age girls, "I used to worry about getting them to bed at night; now I worry about getting them out in the morning!"

Barbara Solomon is a mother of three and a writer in Scarsdale, New York.

Originally published in American Baby magazine, July 2004.

In addition to that....

A local parenting coach wrote this:

I know that Dr. Ferber is less strict than he used to be about getting kids to sleep. However, his techniques are still very useful for kids that have actually taught themselves to stay up and/or to demand/expect a parent to be with them until they actually fall asleep. Also watch one of the Nanny TV shows for examples of being firm yet loving with setting limits.

Briefly, the basic idea is that you (1) stop paying any attention to your child after their bedtime--no hugs, kisses, stories and no yelling either. Just make believe they are little critters that you are putting back where they belong. and then, if necessary (2) let them cry themselves to sleep. Also, and actually first, develop a bedtime routine and STICK TO IT! Letting them cry is very hard, and against some people's principles. What we did when my daughter was little (she is now 21) was put her to bed with the musical mobile playing. If she was still crying when the music stopped (less than 5 minutes) we would go in to her. This happened very rarely. I felt that a short period of crying was not a trauma and having her go to sleep on her own was a learned response. It worked and we had very few bedtime hassles.

Good luck,

Marion
Coach and parent
Marion C. Bloch, Psy. D.
____@____.com
www.mayaresources.com

my daughter is 3 months and she dont sleep in her bassinet either, so what i start doing it letting her fall asleep first and then put her in her bassinet

Hi N.. my firstborn (she's 2,5 years old now) also didn't like sleeping in her crib. but she was happy to sleep in a big, adult bed on her own. so finally I moved her to sleep in a toddler bed when she was only 8 months old. I bought a barrier to put on the side of the bed so she wouldn't fall down. for us, it solved the problem. it seems that she doesn't like to sleep in a small, limited space.
I know how you feel about spoilling your baby. I don't believe we can spoil a baby. they need every hugs, kisses and reassurance from us. good luck!

My first son wouldn't sleep in his crib no matter what I did. If I let him scream he would do it for hours without falling asleep. We would stay in his room until he fell asleep but soon after leaving he would wake up and cry. I know what you are going through. We had decided to let him sleep in our room with us. When he went to bed so did we and if and when he would wake I would bring him into bed with me. He is just fine now, he is 4 and in the morning he will wake up and come in my bed. If you don't want to have him in your bed/room then ask your doctor what you can do. I don't recommend letting him cry though . . . it makes you feel so badly for him. If you have the room try putting his crib in you room and see how that goes.

N.,

I am a 30 year old mother of a two year old little girl. She was the same way. She would not sleep in her crib at all. If I put her in her crib awake she would scream. If I rocked her to sleep and then placed her in the crib she would immediately wake up and start crying. Since my husband and I both work and we need to sleep we started putting her in our bed. The pediatrician said it was fine. This is what I've tried so far: I took the mattress out of her crib and put it on the floor in her room. I would lay down next to her until she fell asleep. This worked for a little while so I purchased a toddler bed for her and placed railings all around. Apparently it reminded her of the crib and she hated it. Back to our bed. At my wits wend I decided to put the toddler bed in my room. She currently sleeps through the night in her own bed. I know it's frustrating but just be patient. He'll get the hang of it.

I've been reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child", which has been really helpful. It goes through some stratagies for different age groups. It does advocate "extinction", which means crying it out, no matter how long it takes (the theory being if you let the baby cry it out - even if its all night - it should only take a couple of nights and then it will sleep on its own), although it does explain gradual extinction and no cry solutions. I also bought "No Cry Sleep Solutions", but haven't read much yet because I haven't needed to. I wouldn't feel too bad about spoiling your baby up to this point, but it is probably time to stop.

Hi N.,

You know, some of this could be temperment. My son was the same way (he's 14 now...and he does sleep in his own bed :-D). I had people tell me all kinds of things. I tried to let him "cry it out," after hours each night of the crying...I knew it wasn't for him. I had to slowly wean him out of my bed and into his own. One of the things that helped was getting him a "big boy" bed. It was shapped as a racecar. He loved that! It did get better after that.

Pam

As hard as it seems, you have to try to get him to sleep by himself. I have friends who have kids that are 4 and 5 and still sleep with them. It's easier to get him into the habit now instead of trying to do it when he is much older. Don't do it all at once. For instance, if he sleeps with you every night, put him in his crib every other night. If you can deal with the crying for a little whild (without going crazy lol) it will be worth it believe me. Plus you need your own space. Kids do well when things are structured. It may take them some getting used to, but eventually they adjust. So sooner or later, he'll be so used to sleeping in his crib instead of being so used to sleeping with you. Don't stress over it everything will work out, just have patience with your son and most importantely with yourself.