Wish List

Yes, you are going overboard. If they ask you, by all means give them some ideas, otherwise you are jonesing.

K.,
I think if someone calls and asks for ideas and suggestions you should give them a few ideas. I do think that including a wish list is in poor taste.

My family has always been a list family. For my son's first birthday, we sent out a list to immediate family so that they knew what he was interested in, and what we already had. Some went off the list, others used it for inspiration, and some completely ignored it. I think it depends on your family. For my son's second birthday, I sent out an email asking if anyone wanted ideas. I was asked for a list, but again, some totally disregarded it. Only you know how your family/friends will react.

Personally, I don't find it inappropriate. Unfortunately, I do have to admit it is likely a waste of time. I have people who take the time to call and ask me "What sort of things is he interested in?" "What size clothes is he wearing?" "What does he need?" And something happend in their brain when they are shopping that leads to complete surprises for me come present-opening time and an unfortunate amount of time wasted in return lines. (My son just had his third birthday. Can you tell I'm grumpy?)

I keep lists active on Amazon.com all the time. Sometimes they are shopping lists for myself to remember things I can get my kid or even husband for the next gift-giving holiday. Perhaps I share those ideas when people call..... but the best ones I keep for myself because I just can't trust "the callers" to follow-through.

But at least they mean well. Right? :-/

Umm... yeah, very rude. Unless you're asked specifically, it will look like people are only invited and expected to bring gifts.

I don't think it's rude to provide to family, but I'd not provide it to friends unless asked.

I'm a bad gift giver, and as the mother of a toddler and a preschooler, there are so many toys in our house, we really don't need any more. So, we try to make a list of things like pajamas, books, puzzles that we'd rather have them receive at this point in time.

Our families are both hundreds of miles away, so they don't see the kids often enough to know what they like.

When we celebrated our son's birthday recently, we only gave people ideas when asked, and we even put on the invitations, "Please do not feel obligated to bring a gift to his party. Your son's/daughter's friendship is the most important gift he can have".

That kind of makes it seem like a gift is the price of admission to the party. I know that's not how it's meant, but might be percieved that way. I have had people put sizes on the invite and I thought that was fine and that they prefer clothes. Usually I will ask what they need or what they are into. I can get a clue what they are into by the invite - Toy Story invite - can't go wrong with a Buzz Light yr tshirt or pjs. Putting a wishlist kind of send parents on a shopping trip - instead of them just picking something they want to give, they end up going to more than 1 store looking for something on the list. It can also end up with duplicates. You might get 3 Buzz Light years! If you wait and let people ask, then you can give differant answers to everybody to be sure you dont get duplicates. So, it's good manners and makes good sense not to add a list.

I think it is rude. If people want ideas, they will ask. I often ask and so do my kids' firends' parents. Ther eis no requirment for a person to even bring a gift to a party, it is just polite. By giving peopel a list it's like saying if you want to come you have to bring one of these things.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I wish it wasn't rude!! But it is.

I wouldn't include that list in the invitation. Have it available in case anyone asks what he might like. I think some ppl might take offense to you guiding them in a direction w/o them asking. You really can't go wrong w/ a one year old (if the gift is not age appropriate you can just save it until it is). :)

I have given a "wish list" to family before for christmas/birthdays for myself, family & daughter. First off I would not send it with the invties that is tacky and rude. Secondly type something up and just have it ready to copy and paste in an e-mail if someone asks and/or have a few printed off so you can hand it to them if they ask in person. Usually people will ask what size(s) your child is or will be soon if they want to get clothes (and if it is too big, guess what, save it and use it down the road).

My brothers are always asking what I want for christmas so a month or two before hand I write something up and just have it on hand when they ask (trust me they ALWAYS ask).

Sometimes it is nice to know what they child needs (clothes wise) or what they are most intrested in (learning, animals, cars, whatever) so I do like the "wish list" guide to help me get something that the child/person would enjoy the most but it is tacky to send it with the invites. Best to just have it ready on the side of people ask for ideas (call it the "idea starter list" that way it seems less like a "must get wish list").

I do think it is rude. If we get an inviataion like that, I don't look at it as an invitation, I look at it as an invoice.

I don't send any list to anyone, family or not.

I didn't make one because I felt the same way, then after a hundred emails and phone calls from people I didn't even think about, I made a searchable one on toys r us, if they felt like looking they could. I'm also pregnant with my 2nd, who will be born when my son is 5.5 yrs old. I know that's a big gap, but again I felt bad, so we didn't register, then we got harassed (including by my boss) so we made one. I think these days, lots of people appreciate it, plus then they can buy something, have it come off the list and not worry about others getting the same thing or you already having it. Have a great day, it's as much a celebration of his birth as it is a celebration of you keeping him alive for a whole year (which for many of us seems like a miracle.

I wouldn't put it in the invitations. If you actually get phone calls or email for RSVP from your guests that is usually one of the questions they will ask. Putting a lot of info in the invitations gives them less reasons to call and let you know they are coming. It is difficult as it is to determine how many will attend as so many people don't RSVP anymore.

If I got an invitation along with a list of what to buy, I would definitely think it was rude.
If people call to ask, great! But don't count on anyone buying what you want for him. That's not the point of a birthday party anyway. Just be glad for anything that works for him, and for the rest of it- be glad to have items to return for credit!
I'm lucky- in our family, we ALL ask what we should buy for each other, and we ALL give suggestions. It makes it so much easier.

A little presumptuous in my opinion. Most will ask what he needs or wants (or rather what you want him to have at this age). Others will purchase what they feel is appropriate. Who knows, you might get something you never thought of!

I know you got a bunch of responses already but I wanted to let you know what I do for my daughter's invitation. I write on there: Gift Ideas: and list what her favorite toys are, her favorite characters (Dora, Hello Kitty) and what size clothes she's wearing. Come birthday time, about 75% of the people invited got what I listed as "gift ideas". You can also add for those who feel it is remotely rude to get "gift ideas" something like, "Of course gifts are not necessary, we would just love for you to celebrate our son's birthday with us!"

I seriously don't think it's rude or anything. In fact, I think people appreciate you giving them some ideas and what size your child is wearing. I woudn't call it a "wish list". I think that is where it might sound inappropriate or annoying to some. By calling it "gift ideas", I think you are just doing that, giving people ideas.

I've always made a wish list when my kiddos were younger. However I only sent it out to immediate family- or to people who asked for suggestions on what to get.

Yes, it's rude. I would never create a wish list for my child. People should be free to give what they want, and if there's a problem then maybe you can discreetly exchange it or pass it on to a less fortunate child. I would be offended if I got an invitation to a kids' birthday party and it had any sort of wish list attached or included! Many people will ask, so you could suggest one or two reasonable items. The only time it's acceptable to have any kind of "wish list" situation going on is when you register for your wedding or baby shower.

Yumi's right. Another suggestion would be to put a little "About Me" note on the invitation that says something like "My birthday is... I am xx" tall... I wear a size 2T. I love to watch Elmo. I love to play with blocks." etc. Then it doesn't even sound like gift ideas, but it gives people suggestions subtly.